Has anyone here ever gone solo to an event with the intention of making friends?

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

Rob82

Active member
Joined
Jun 28, 2013
Messages
31
Reaction score
0
I think I might try tonight.

Basically put, I've found an event kind of near me where there are likely to be a lot of people sharing similar interests and I'm thinking of venturing out.

I've never had a problem interacting with others or making friends initially, but I have troubles with actually getting into positions to meet new people so I'm thinking this might be a good idea.

Has anyone here ever experienced similar? If so, how did it go?

I guess I'm asking because I'm kind of nervous (though not nervous enough to stop me from doing it) and I'm just sort of wondering how other people dealt with it? At the same time I'm kind of hoping that someone says it went well as a little inspiration, haha :)
 
Ah, **** it I can't go tonight now, but will do soon.

Question still stands, anyone gone solo to events to meet people? If so, how did it go?
 
Yes, I have. A 'Games Day' (fundraiser for a local children's hospital - basically a bunch of gamers all getting together and playing video games). And I had just moved to this new town to boot. It went well, and it was fun....can't say I made any friends going to it, but everyone was nice and welcoming. I was actually pretty proud of myself for even going as this was something that was wayyyyyyy out of my comfort zone.
 
Many times. Including to meetup groups. It always goes the same way. Struggle to find someone to even say hello to, they realise that I am there alone (by either being asked who I am there with, or who do I know in the group), and then the rest of the time I am just ignored.
 
ringwood said:
Yes, I have. A 'Games Day' (fundraiser for a local children's hospital - basically a bunch of gamers all getting together and playing video games). And I had just moved to this new town to boot. It went well, and it was fun....can't say I made any friends going to it, but everyone was nice and welcoming. I was actually pretty proud of myself for even going as this was something that was wayyyyyyy out of my comfort zone.

Well done you! It is very much about getting that comfort zone which is really difficult, but then if we're looking for change then we've got to action that change and put up with any uncomfortable feelings about it. Great job :)
 
Cucuboth said:
Many times. Including to meetup groups. It always goes the same way. Struggle to find someone to even say hello to, they realise that I am there alone (by either being asked who I am there with, or who do I know in the group), and then the rest of the time I am just ignored.

I'm sorry to hear that, but I can understand where you're coming from entirely since some Meetup groups can be really cliquey (whether they mean to or not). At the same time perhaps they're socially awkward and don't know how to include you? Obviously that isn't going to be the case all of the time, but sometimes people are unintentionally poor at including others.
 
It wasn't so much an event as I had just moved to south Florida and was bored and had no friends at the time. I saw an ad for volunteers needed at the local wildlife rehab center. Since I love animals thought it would be good to kill some time and help the little critters.

Honestly, I was a little timid the first couple of weeks, so kinda kept to myself. Then I met Sandy, who was a total smart ass, so we clicked...she was one of the few that really got my weird sense of humor. Any time there was a group function she would invite me to go along. Slowly, I started to get to know the staff.

Within three months, they offered me a job so I took it. Ended up being the best decade of my life...met some great people, made many friends, learned a lot and would give just about anything to go back to that period and stay frozen in time...yeah, sounds corny, but it's the truth.

Rob, just do it. You might meet someone really neat...or a few...and if you don't go I have a feeling you'll wish you had gone.
 
Well done for trying out new things and going it alone, anything is worth a try...I would be really interested in hearing how it went when you try it and if you made any connections with people...

I would say, I think even the most gregarious and outgoing person in the world might struggle to make friends at a one off event, perhaps it could be something that is ongoing or regular? Like a certain bar or venue where you could get to see some familiar faces?

To answer your question I have never gone to a one off regular event to meet people...only meetups/volunteering etc where I guess people are more tuned in to meeting new people. I would probably think (and maybe hope for the flattery!) that someone was chatting me up if someone came up to me at a regular event that I didn't know.
 
Actually...I remember a couple of years ago I went to see some stand up comedy with my partner...a woman sat next to me who had come by herself and we started talking...If I had been by myself I probably would have made a greater effort. So I guess it depends who you meet and if they are alone too or with company.
 
To be fair, im well used to meeting people now through events but to be fair that's mainly due to finding the near perfect activity to meet people and being committed and consistent with it. The social skills I gained are pretty now adaptable elsewhere.

If you're still adjusting to making new friends, might I recommend focusing on ongoing social activities where you can build rapport over time, rather than one-off events where you may find yourself under pressure to "close the deal"?
 
Nah, I find it pointless. People go to see and enjoy the event, not to make friends.
 
I tried few times. Then i realised i hate party and concerts etc... and I will no force myself to seek friends. I hope at least I can find a girlfriend.
I dont want to be forever alone. Perhaps this takes more time....
 
A couple of times. Not too much activities are happening in my area, but it's always a closed environment. People already have their friends and don't care for anyone else there.
 
It was a couple of years ago, but I went to a Meetup.com event in my area because I wanted to get back into D&D. The meetup was a bunch of people who either talked to people they already knew, or didn't talk at all. Thus, there was already an established clique.

When I tried to engage with someone, I got a response of two or three words, then awkward silence. Since I don't have the energy to drive the conversation on my own, being an introvert myself, it was not a great success.

Not that I would, but if I ever started my own Meetup, I would hand out "My Name Is" stickers that we'd all wear, and have each person introduce themselves. I realize that's hard for people with social anxiety or social phobia, but I just felt that experience was not as fulfilling as it could have been. It felt like less of a Meetup and more like a bunch of people yearning for leadership and found none.
 
I've done this through meetup, with varying degrees of success. Honestly, it depends on your mood: if you aren't in a social state of mind (i.e. too anxious, or just feeling 'meh'), then you probably won't "click" with any of the members, even if they are potentially a good match in terms of personality. Of course, even if you click after first meeting someone, you may not see them again. This is why I'm a big fan of meetup: a lot of groups have a 'core' membership of sorts, which hopefully grows as new members join the fray. Eventually, if you do click with a given individual, you can exchange digits, which makes it easier to hang out outside of 'formal' events. It's a good way to become a 'regular' in a given social circle.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top