Hi all. Hope you are well.
So my purpose for joining this forum is to hopefully help those wanting to improve their friend-making skills. To find out about myself, I've posted in the "New Members" section, so for now I'll just jump right into summarising how I'd like to help.
the person attends a weekly social activity for 12 weeks (some activities are much more suitable than others for social self-improvements), during which I'd be giving them weekly tasks, and also insights. The tasks are more for encouraging good habits rather than escalations in difficulty.
Well, that's the basics. My aim is to give them the momentum to then continue improving without my assistance. And as long as one is focused, cooperative and open-minded, I'll do my best in helping them achieve your goal.
So if you've read up to this point and feel there's a question worth asking, feel free to ask on this thread, provided it's constructive and respectful. If you've decided you'd like my help, just send a private message and I'll answer as soon as I can.
Hi everyone. Just wanted copy and paste my answer to somebody else asking for more details. I thank that person for allowing others to see this extract from my response:
The tasks i set are in my opinion, reasonable and not that challenging, ones which you shouldn't have too much objection to following.
The benefits will be learning how to escalate these acquaintances into the type of friendships that extend beyond the activity itself. It's also so that by the end of the 12 weeks, you'll never be at a loss as to where to meet people and turn these into friendships. I wouldn't want you to be dependent on one social activity.
Now the following is just aspects of how I help. It's not pre-written or planned so please forgive the length and lack of structure:
- I'll ask you to keep a personal record (either on paper or computer) which would NOT be for my viewing but would in itself play an essential role. In this document I'd ask you to note the tasks set and the results, amongst other insights too.
- Like I say, certain social activities are very good for social improvements. Others can have serious drawbacks. I'd be seeking to recommend the most reliable choice of activity available to you (in my opinion). Note that I would NOT recommend activities where the main intention is to befriend people. It's much better that that purpose is secondary to the aims of the activity/club.
- My tasks are pretty ad-HOC, and will adapt to your situation as we'd go along. However, normally my reasoning for giving certain advice is to set yourself up for something in the following weeks.
- Should you complete the tasks set, and be and hopefully adhere to the spirit of my advice, people should start reacting positively. As this continues to build momentum, you should notice a shift forward in motivation, positivity and enjoyment. This is key because in order to be a social person, you have to enjoy the social experience.
- Whether it be lack of motivation of an external event etc something is going to push you towards giving up during the 12 weeks. Pushing through his point, and completing the 12 weeks, will be a big character builder.
There's actual very complex reasoning behind the expected benefits to explain it fully could be very extensive. You won't realise what following that advice leads you to or how many obstacles you are overcoming by simply completing those tasks but that's the point. I've done the decades' worth of social experimenting for you. All you have to do is attend the activity and follow the advice.
And unlike someone telling you " You gotta just be confident, be talkative, think positive" etc, should you be disatisfied after 12 weeks, I cannot turn around and say "Well you couldn't have tried hard enough" because my tasks adhere to being S.M.A.R.T and objective.
So I'm in the Caribbean now, and whilst I'd been stuck inside due to Hurricane Matthew (though others had had it a lot worse) I caught up with some private messages. With people on another forum asking several times how the communication in this plan works, I decided to copy and paste my reply into this thread, to help future readers be more informed.
In order to say what we will be talking about, it may be easier first to inform of what we WON'T be talking about. Bare with me.
One request I would also ask of you is to have a cheap notebook or a Word document. This will be a private “diary” entirely for your viewing only – this won't be part of our communication, but it is very important by myself that you do this request. For this document, each week I would like for you to write and fill out the following 5 sections:
A) The tasks for the social activity session - these are the essential tasks. I adhere adapt the tasks to reflect yourself and the situation as you progress. The tasks may not even be challenging at all to you. Pushing you to breaking point is NOT my priority.
B) The results of your attempts at each tasks. These should be separated and not just summarised in a single paragraph.
C) Your own personal rating out of 10, regarding your Attitude/ Efforts in being social during that session (10 being trying your best to be social,and 0 being yu purposely being anti-social and elusive. keyword being "purposely").
D) Additional insights/ optional advice & tasks. Although completely optional, doing these will make for a more complete experience. Often these can be set-ups to make future "A" tasks easier. This section would also include my response to the prior week's part E.
E) Questions that you may want to ask me (so that you don't forget).
F) A free from passage of text regarding this journey. You can say whatever you want, but it should be a minimum of 70 words.
And so you would have filled out this each week for 12 weeks.
Although pretty essential to your success, this diary would be for your eyes only. This template however does aid in illustrating the ideal messaging structure. Using the points above, the basic week should be as follows, but it can be flexible:
- me messaging A & C
- you adding A & C to your diary
- you going to the social activity sessions, doing task A
- you messaging with B, C, E and F
- you adding B, C, E and F to your diary week
Hopefully through this you'll be doing the additional tips for C but that's up to you. And, that's roughly all we'd be doing for 12 weeks, allowing for clarifications where needed of course. Hopefully this way would make things straightforward and easier to follow.
have any takers?
I will not suffer.......
"The only way to get through hell....is to keep moving."
well the real qeastion is.....
*dum dum dum* (its a dramatic drum sound not the hurrican you hear)
how much you charge for your "help"