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Case

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I have posted here before about how youthful I look. The other day, some guy assumed I was 24 or 25, but I am a few weeks away from my 50th birthday. (Yes. If you are actually 50, people would probably guess that I am your son. It has happened before.)

So, here's my question: What is the acceptable age range to date at my age?

Despite my looks, I have lived nearly 50 years of life. A friend told me "As long as she's 18, you're good." And I think that is awful advice. Right now, my minimum seems to be around 35ish. I just don't know what would be socially acceptable.

Think of it this way... If you had a friend my age, and he brought over a new girl for you to meet, what age would she have to be minimally to make you feel like he wasn't acting like a creep?

EDIT: It stands to reason that someone my age or older is generally acceptable.
 
I would just date someone you are in the same stage of life as you. Other than that, age shouldn't matter.
 
TheRealCallie said:
Sorry, but I have to agree with your friend. If it's legal, go for it. As long as they know your real age, I don't see what the problem is.



Yes, go for it. And that is a female saying so. I think
 
Case said:
I have posted here before about how youthful I look. The other day, some guy assumed I was 24 or 25, but I am a few weeks away from my 50th birthday. (Yes. If you are actually 50, people would probably guess that I am your son. It has happened before.)

So, here's my question: What is the acceptable age range to date at my age?

Despite my looks, I have lived nearly 50 years of life. A friend told me "As long as she's 18, you're good." And I think that is awful advice. Right now, my minimum seems to be around 35ish. I just don't know what would be socially acceptable.

Think of it this way... If you had a friend my age, and he brought over a new girl for you to meet, what age would she have to be minimally to make you feel like he wasn't acting like a creep?

EDIT: It stands to reason that someone my age or older is generally acceptable.

Hey there Case! Long time no talk! :)

I think you answered your own question in your original post. You said "...I think (as long as she's 18) is just awful advice" "It stands to reason that someone my age or older is generally acceptable"

If you dated a 20 year old, would you be comfortable meeting her parents? Hanging out with her group of friends? Or talking with someone who probably doesn't know a lot of the same cultural references that you're familiar with? What would you talk about besides movies and what's for dinner?

Men get less judgment and more leeway when it comes to ages in dating so there's that too.

I've personally found 10-15 years age difference is about enough. Beyond that and you're likely to have a bit of a generation gap.
 
I'm 63 and I've thought about the issue myself. IMO there is no inflexible rule, it depends on the two people involved. That being said, the bigger the age gap the more there will be potential problems to resolve, like other peoples' judgments and fitting in with the partner's much older or much younger friends. But none of that needs to be a deal breaker......if the two people are right for one another the relationship will thrive.
 
SofiasMami said:
Men get less judgment and more leeway when it comes to ages in dating so there's that too.

This is news to me. The exact opposite has always been true in my experience. Men who go for younger women are more likely to be seen as sexual predators than women who go for younger men?

Or did you just mean that younger women are more open to dating older men, in which case I can agree.
 
Case said:
I have posted here before about how youthful I look. The other day, some guy assumed I was 24 or 25, but I am a few weeks away from my 50th birthday. (Yes. If you are actually 50, people would probably guess that I am your son. It has happened before.)

So, here's my question: What is the acceptable age range to date at my age?

Despite my looks, I have lived nearly 50 years of life. A friend told me "As long as she's 18, you're good." And I think that is awful advice. Right now, my minimum seems to be around 35ish. I just don't know what would be socially acceptable.

Think of it this way... If you had a friend my age, and he brought over a new girl for you to meet, what age would she have to be minimally to make you feel like he wasn't acting like a creep?

EDIT: It stands to reason that someone my age or older is generally acceptable.
As physically old as possible without actually having mobility problems...(although a mobility scooter could be an asset... you can't be to judgemental in these situations )I don't want to imagine having some adorable honey flaunted in my face...but a toothless crone with partial vision and abundant chin hair is in this context completely acceptable and in most social situations far less likely to create adverse reactions...you know it makes sense.
 
SofiasMami said:
Hey there Case! Long time no talk! :)

Hiya. Yes. It has been a while. Hope you're well. 😊

SofiasMami said:
I think you answered your own question in your original post. You said "...I think (as long as she's 18) is just awful advice" "It stands to reason that someone my age or older is generally acceptable"

If you dated a 20 year old, would you be comfortable meeting her parents? Hanging out with her group of friends? Or talking with someone who probably doesn't know a lot of the same cultural references that you're familiar with? What would you talk about besides movies and what's for dinner?

Well, I have experienced that discomfort before. I have dated someone 20 years my junior once, and that was a nightmare in many respects. Parents hated me, sister threatened to kill me, friends judged me harshly... This is kinda why I don't know the acceptable range. I've gone slightly older and had people think they were my mother, and I've gone younger and been ostracized. I realize I am overthinking this, as I am not dating at the moment, but I am in a more social situation now and it has been on my mind lately.

SofiasMami said:
Men get less judgment and more leeway when it comes to ages in dating so there's that too.

I think, generally speaking, that this is true, but it does not apply to me because I have been judged so negatively in several dating situations. Also, most of my best friends are women, so they do not hold back their opinions if they don't approve of my choices. I have never sought approval before, but I do want to have a standard that is comfortable for me if I start dating again.

SofiasMami said:
I've personally found 10-15 years age difference is about enough. Beyond that and you're likely to have a bit of a generation gap.

Yes. 15 years seems to be my limit. However, is it bad to say that I don't want to date anyone older? I never want to experience being thought of as my girlfriend's son ever again.
 
TheRealCallie said:
Sorry, but I have to agree with your friend. If it's legal, go for it. As long as they know your real age, I don't see what the problem is.

I think this only works for flings, to be honest. There is nothing wrong with a fling with a consenting adult, but that is the only reason I'd even consider an over 15 year difference in age. And right now, that's just not on my radar
 

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