Depression and mood swings

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WallflowerGirl83

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I've had mood swings pretty much all my life. A few people call it manic depression and other people call it bipolar disorder. I'm happy. I'm sad. I'm in between. I can move around a lot and be OCD and organize my entire house and clean until I was completely worn out. Than I get depressed and all I want to do is sleep and when the depression hits you, it usually ends up hitting me hard. I laugh, people are happy to be around me and then I get depression and it feels just like depression how other people would feel like when they're depressed. There's been times where I get angry almost and tell people off. Not many people have seen this about me and anytime I feel angry, I usually go off to be myself because I hate hurting others.

If I tell a person to leave me alone I don't do it to be mean or to push them away. I just don't want to make the person angry or upset. Now anytime I'm very angry, I go off to be alone to cool off. I say things that simply slip out of my mouth without me even thinking because my mind races so fast. I remember once I said something at the dinner table and my family didn't know how to react to it. I hate lying and faking what I have. Normally when someone is depressed and I'm near them I pick up on their vibes. I can just feel it. Once I asked one of my good friends, "What's wrong?" They just laughed it off and said, "I'm fine." In the end somehow I got them to talk and I was there for them.

I've been learning how to cope with this disorder and trying to deal with it the best I can. What truly hurts though is when friends end up slipping away and before I used to be hurt and bent out of shape about it. Now I'm so used to it that it doesn't even shock me anymore. There's only a few people who actually know about it. Once I became close friends with someone when I was younger and they stopped talking to me because I trusted them. I'll never forget when they said, "Man you're bipolar....all those people are nuts." Now I actually sometimes laugh about my own disorder because if I don't I'm just going to end up letting it running my entire life. That's all it's done was run my entire life.. I isolated myself for so long due to depression and finally I got out of bed and picked up my guitar for the first time in months.

If anyone has bipolar and feel like you're completely alone. Trust me- you're not. Don't let anyone tell you that you're crazy or that something is wrong with you. If they do: they were never your true friends to begin with and you need to be surrounded with people who actually care about you. I know it hurts when people stop talking to you because you're depressed. I know it sounds so clique, just don't let it get you down and try to do things that you enjoy. Even if it's for 5 mins or so. Just simply pick yourself up and try, and try again.
 
"....pick yourself up and try, and try again." Good attitude on your part! And easier said that done, too. I'm prone to a mild and reasonably manageable form of moodswing myself, but I've been a caregiver to my mother whose moodswing expresses itself out on the extreme end of the scale. Some other families would have hospitalized her years ago....or stabilized her with medication but our means of coping with her was that we had a family member who did the managing....and that was me.

So you've got my admiration WallflowerGirl. Having the willpower to actually function in the trough of depression is really difficult.
 
Being consious there is an issue goes a long way in my opinion

See a lot of your post in myself
 
constant stranger said:
"....pick yourself up and try, and try again."  Good attitude on your part!  And easier said that done, too.  I'm prone to a mild and reasonably manageable form of moodswing myself, but I've been a caregiver to my mother whose moodswing expresses itself out on the extreme end of the scale.  Some other families would have hospitalized her years ago....or stabilized her with medication but our means of coping with her was that we had a family member who did the managing....and that was me.

So you've got my admiration WallflowerGirl.  Having the willpower to actually function in the trough of depression is really difficult.

I've had bipolar since I was a teen and then when I was 19 years old I got diagnosed. I'm bipolar 2. Hypomania and Depression. Than there's times where I get Hypomanic. All of them are completely different from one another. There's times where people will judge me and think differently of me once they find out I'm bipolar. Others will refuse to talk to me or stop talking one day after telling me that everything was okay between us. A lot of people think Bipolar people are crazy. Drinking alcohol affects mood swings and can bring on depression. I don't drink alcohol anymore and I'm much happier now. There's times where I'll get depressed for a week and then it'll switch to hypomania. Sometimes if I'm stressed out, I'll start rapid cycling. My attention span is very short, I tend to rapid talk and keep talking and talking and talking. It's as if I'm pressed to talk and I'll talk over people and a lot of people get annoyed with me. One thing I hate is my anger and I learn to control this by meditation, art and writing. Now I'm starting to exercise. ::)

Sometimes I'll laugh and people will look at me oddly thinking I'm on drugs or something, but I'm not. I've read articles about on Kurt Cobain being bipolar and I find his story about suicide depression, but a lot of people are convinced that Courtney Love killed him. I try not to believe everything I read though. I like to have my own opinions on things and think outside the box. Robin William's is believed to be bipolar too, though I'm not completely sure. :( I've learned about the disappearing acts when bipolar people get depressed and I'm trying not to do this anymore because I've hurt a lot of people by doing this. I also was abused and I didn't want anyone to know because I felt ashamed. My abuser took advantage of me because I was bipolar. He would laugh at me and told me: "Yeah go take you're crazy pills." Than he would tell me that nobody cared about me and brainwashed me. I hate how my disorder took over my life and I didn't do anything to help myself. My illness consumed my everyday life and thoughts. Once I realized my life was going down the drain, I knew I had to do something. Now I try not to worry about what people think of me. My good friend Joshua gave me perfect advice: "Don't worry about people so much. Worry about you." It took me so long to realize this because I was stubborn and foolish. I admitted to this and I was very selfish too. I own up to my mistakes and now I'm trying to better myself as a person.

Than I realized I had to take care of myself and do something for myself for once. Because if I can't take care of myself and put myself first, I won't be able to help other people such as my family, friends, cousins, etc. I feel horrible for not being for people and I hope that one day people will forgive me and talk to me again. If people won't then I'll accept that and move on. I won't control people or try to get others to like me. People either like me or they don't. I'm not going to try to impress anyone. The reason I posted this up is because I hate lying and keeping this inside. It sucks. I love being honest and truthful. I'm no better than anyone else on this Forum. I accept people for who they are and once again I hope that me coming back here I can somehow help others. When I do have bad days though you most likely won't see me on because again I have to take care of myself. If I don't take care of myself, than I simply won't be able to help others. So if you don't see me on, I'm more than likely depressed or simply not having a good day. 

quote-on-stigma-health-75-healthyplace.jpg


Famous People who had bipolar disorder

http://www.ranker.com/list/famous-p...wzEYhw.1&utm_referrer=https://www.google.com/
 
WallflowerGirl83 said:
I've had mood swings pretty much all my life. A few people call it manic depression and other people call it bipolar disorder. I'm happy. I'm sad. I'm in between. I can move around a lot and be OCD and organize my entire house and clean until I was completely worn out. Than I get depressed and all I want to do is sleep and when the depression hits you, it usually ends up hitting me hard. I laugh, people are happy to be around me and then I get depression and it feels just like depression how other people would feel like when they're depressed. There's been times where I get angry almost and tell people off. Not many people have seen this about me and anytime I feel angry, I usually go off to be myself because I hate hurting others.

If I tell a person to leave me alone I don't do it to be mean or to push them away. I just don't want to make the person angry or upset. Now anytime I'm very angry, I go off to be alone to cool off. I say things that simply slip out of my mouth without me even thinking because my mind races so fast. I remember once I said something at the dinner table and my family didn't know how to react to it. I hate lying and faking what I have. Normally when someone is depressed and I'm near them I pick up on their vibes. I can just feel it. Once I asked one of my good friends, "What's wrong?" They just laughed it off and said, "I'm fine." In the end somehow I got them to talk and I was there for them.

I've been learning how to cope with this disorder and trying to deal with it the best I can. What truly hurts though is when friends end up slipping away and before I used to be hurt and bent out of shape about it. Now I'm so used to it that it doesn't even shock me anymore. There's only a few people who actually know about it. Once I became close friends with someone when I was younger and they stopped talking to me because I trusted them. I'll never forget when they said, "Man you're bipolar....all those people are nuts." Now I actually sometimes laugh about my own disorder because if I don't I'm just going to end up letting it running my entire life. That's all it's done was run my entire life.. I isolated myself for so long due to depression and finally I got out of bed and picked up my guitar for the first time in months.

If anyone has bipolar and feel like you're completely alone. Trust me- you're not. Don't let anyone tell you that you're crazy or that something is wrong with you. If they do: they were never your true friends to begin with and you need to be surrounded with people who actually care about you. I know it hurts when people stop talking to you because you're depressed. I know it sounds so clique, just don't let it get you down and try to do things that you enjoy. Even if it's for 5 mins or so. Just simply pick yourself up and try, and try again.

Young lady, I understand all that you have written and let me tell you that it takes lot of courage to write all this and yes you seem have a good positive attitude towards handling this. Good, keep it up.

I hope you are ok.
 
Same way, but in a different way. In general, I think we all have our mood swings whether we are depressed or not. But the fact that you are aware, like me. There's hope to bettering it.
 
Thank you for your kind replies. Yeah I'm aware of it now and I'm trying to improve my mood swings now. I'm reading a lot of self help books and eating healthy. I've also been exercising a lot lately too.

Yukongirl: You're welcome! I'm glad this helped you in some way. That makes me very happy to know! =)
Hugs to you!

TheAnxiousPain: Thank you so much! :) I hope things get better for you overtime.
 

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