A weird problem - I talk too much

About two months ago, I moved from a small town in New Jersey to Maine to pursue my master’s degree in speech-language pathology. The girls in my cohort are amazing. We keep each other sane from the craziness of grad school. I have quickly become friends with most of them, which is not too surprising considering we have similar interests and goals. Ironically, I am a future SLP, but I feel I have some sort of a social issue.
 
So my question is, how do you change something you consider a “flaw”, but it's the way you have always been so you don’t know any different?
        
My issue is that I feel like I'm too trusting towards others, which often leads to me telling people too many personal details about my life or others. In other words, I am basically what you would call an “open book.”  I am always talking, and not in a way where I gossip or brag, but in a way that I reveal unnecessary information about my own life or the lives of people important to me. I have noticed this personality flaw in the past and it never bothered me too much, but since moving away from the people who have known me my entire life, I have become more aware of this weakness and it is starting to negatively affect me.
 
Of course, this does not happen every time I speak, but I will admit it happens a lot more than it should.
 
I believe that part of the reason I do this is because I am a passionate person. I deeply care about everything and everyone I have in my life and truly just want to share that passion with everyone I cross paths with, but I am starting to realize that I overstep my boundaries by doing this.
 
Additionally, there are a lot of life changes I am still adjusting to. For one, I am home sick. I moved alone 9+ hours away from everything I knew. I have more good days than bad, but the bad days are very hard for me to deal with. Also, as I previously mentioned, I am still trying to create friendships in this now somewhat familiar place. Although I would say I’ve done good job so far, I am finding it is hard to establish real friendships with people who don’t know your back story.
 
My intentions are always good when I talk and go into great detail about my friends, family, past, etc, but I feel I am doing something wrong. I don’t want to feel that way when all I am doing is being myself.
 
So, what can I do or change? I know one simple answer is “think before you speak”, but it goes further than that. Does anyone have any advice or experience with this issue? I don’t want to lose the enthusiasm I have for life and communication, but I do want to prevent this problem from snowballing.
 
Thanks for reading.

It is indeed possible to say too much. Ask a trusted member of your cohort who's actually been listening to you, what she (or he) thinks about it. It would only be an opinion but that could lend some perspective
.
Also, homesickness will decrease with time into a lesser ache. But there is no cure for it.

I don't think it's a flaw it's who you are wich you should accept maybe you should choose what you say and to who. I mean ask them about themselves when you tend to talk to much about yourself it should make you feel less like an open book if they are also sharing if they don't well move on to someone else that's actually listening to you.

I agree with van0994. It isn't a flaw, it is part of who you are. Many people value someone who is an 'open book' as it means that they can be real with you as well. As long as you ask people about themselves as well so that they don't feel like a sounding board all the time, you are fine as you are.

This is a problem ive been dealing with as well. Makes people that arent as open more reluctant to share certain things with you. It can be a problem. Some people are weird about people knowing things about them.

I dunno the best way to fix it.

Hey not everyone can like who you are! We can't please everyone! You haft to choose your battles.

constant stranger said:

It is indeed possible to say too much.  Ask a trusted member of your cohort who's actually been listening to you, what she (or he) thinks about it.  It would only be an opinion but that could lend some perspective
.
Also, homesickness will decrease with time into a lesser ache.  But there is no cure for it.

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Thanks for the idea. I do have a couple people I would feel comfortable asking for their opinions about this. I will try that. I hope their honest with me.

van0994 said:

I don't think it's a flaw it's who you are wich you should accept maybe you should choose what you say and to who. I mean ask them about themselves when you tend to talk to much about yourself it should make you feel less like an open book if they are also sharing if they don't well move on to someone else that's  actually listening to you.

Click to expand...

Thanks! I definitely ask others questions and listen when they speak to me. If someone opens up about something to me, I just let them speak. I'll ask questions when appropriate, but otherwise, I enjoy listening. A lot of people in my program come from different backgrounds and areas of the country that I am from so I feel there's so much to ask/talk and learn about. I just have to remember to move on like you said. Thank you!

You could try writing a list of rules that you want to adhere to when talking about your personal life, so that you give yourself a window of opportunity to think about what to say & find what is appropriate. For example, you could use your phone to pretend you're pre-occupied, or make an excuse to leave the room. There's lots of things you could try.

Once you've thought about what to say & what to keep to yourself, you can then aim to change the topic to give yourself more breathing room, so it's worth keeping some theme's in mind like, food or music; two great topics that almost everyone has in common.

I hope that helps.