Feel like my neighbors can sense my depression

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TheAnxiousPain

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I feel like my neighbor thinks I’m slow. I’m 24 still living with my mom. I dress like a bum I feel like cause I didn’t have a job or car for years. I just got a car this year, and I feel like my neighbors are watching me and plotting to see where I’m going when I leave. My neighbor once said to me “every time I see you, you’re going somewhere”.  I feel like she was being funny as to say I look dumb by keep leaving and leaving, but I do so to get out to find a job and to get away from my mom. I don’t say much, I am very quiet, my mom does a lot for me, and I am still living there. I just got a job which is BIG because I can’t hold a job, and I have serious amounts of anxiety. I don’t have a love life or social life at the moment because I been depressed for a while and I feel the neighbors and people around can sense that. I feel like they know I don’t have any friends or anything. But I don’t know them personally and never spoke with them. I’m pretty much gone through the day, I work a crappy job that I am saving money from and I go to library to study for a course I’m taking. In 3 weeks I will be moving out of state to NYC for college, and a job.  I’m excited but yet anxious and feel guilty. Out of 3 years since we’ve lived here, my neighbors has seen how much of a low life I am. At 24 I should be further right? Very depressed, anxious and self-conscious.
 
I think you are doing fantastic. There is no timeline on achieving your goals mostly. 24 is certainly not too late at all. The fact is you are achieiving them. Well done as well for managing to achieve all this with anxiety and depression. You should be very proud of yourself and I bet your Mum is too. This is all down to your hard work and dedication. It doesn't matter about the past, leave it behind.

I have had my share of strange and very nosy neighbours! I had one until recently (I moved) and he used to say creepy things to me and my kids. I felt like he was constantly watching and I did see him in his window most times I left my house. He always had an opinion and felt it was his right to know what was going on in my life. He did this with other neighbours too. Alot of people would advice to ignore them, but that is alot harder said than done. How about when you leave the house hold yourself confidently and give a wave in their direction, they might realise you know they are watching lol, have a little light hearted fun to help you brush it off.

I might add that as an anxiety sufferer, when it is particularly bad, I can be quite paranoid, so maybe try and be concious of that.

Good luck with everything.
 
Serenia said:
I think you are doing fantastic.  There is no timeline on achieving your goals mostly.  24 is certainly not too late at all.  The fact is you are achieiving them.  Well done as well for managing to achieve all this with anxiety and depression.  You should be very proud of yourself and I bet your Mum is too.  This is all down to your hard work and dedication.  It doesn't matter about the past, leave it behind.

I have had my share of strange and very nosy neighbours!  I had one until recently (I moved) and he used to say creepy things to me and my kids.  I felt like he was constantly watching and I did see him in his window most times I left my house.  He always had an opinion and felt it was his right to know what was going on in my life.  He did this with other neighbours too.  Alot of people would advice to ignore them, but that is alot harder said than done.  How about when you leave the house hold yourself confidently and give a wave in their direction, they might realise you know they are watching lol, have a little light hearted fun to help you brush it off.

I might add that as an anxiety sufferer, when it is particularly bad, I can be quite paranoid, so maybe try and be concious of that.  

Good luck with everything.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I guess you’re right. My mom tell me not to worry about it, and that they know nothing about me. The neighbor house smells like piss, she has about 7 cats, 2 dogs, and she’s very judgmental, she judges the neighbors children and I just get a bad vibe from her. My mom will be moving soon. But I admit I am very paranoid… and think very irrational. The thing is no one can convince me that my thoughts are irrational until I stop worrying about it.
 
Well i am 37. With similar thoughts and feelings and in a bad place living at home. So the best thing and the healthiest thing if you still live at home is to think about chnaging your location. Own place.
 
I'd tell that neighbour where to go if I was you. Sounds like the kind of neighbour that has nothing better to do but peep out their window judging other people. 
icon_rolleyes.gif
 
TheAnxiousPain said:
Serenia said:
I think you are doing fantastic.  There is no timeline on achieving your goals mostly.  24 is certainly not too late at all.  The fact is you are achieiving them.  Well done as well for managing to achieve all this with anxiety and depression.  You should be very proud of yourself and I bet your Mum is too.  This is all down to your hard work and dedication.  It doesn't matter about the past, leave it behind.

I have had my share of strange and very nosy neighbours!  I had one until recently (I moved) and he used to say creepy things to me and my kids.  I felt like he was constantly watching and I did see him in his window most times I left my house.  He always had an opinion and felt it was his right to know what was going on in my life.  He did this with other neighbours too.  Alot of people would advice to ignore them, but that is alot harder said than done.  How about when you leave the house hold yourself confidently and give a wave in their direction, they might realise you know they are watching lol, have a little light hearted fun to help you brush it off.

I might add that as an anxiety sufferer, when it is particularly bad, I can be quite paranoid, so maybe try and be concious of that.  

Good luck with everything.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I guess you’re right. My mom tell me not to worry about it, and that they know nothing about me. The neighbor house smells like piss, she has about 7 cats, 2 dogs, and she’s very judgmental, she judges the neighbors children and I just get a bad vibe from her. My mom will be moving soon. But I admit I am very paranoid… and think very irrational. The thing is no one can convince me that my thoughts are irrational until I stop worrying about it.


You often find judgemental people often are far from perfect.  This is why they do it, because it mskes them feel better, trying to drag others down.  

You are still young, and one thing I learn't about my anxiety is as time goes by and as you face different life challenges and get through them, you will find it lessen, because you have got through them.  I say this from experience.  Just think in five years will that neighbour matter to you?  Your Mum will have moved, so even when you see your Mum you won't be seeing this neighbour.  She will be carry on with her miserable attitude while you are making things happen in your life, just like you already are.  :).
 
Serenia said:
TheAnxiousPain said:
Serenia said:
I think you are doing fantastic.  There is no timeline on achieving your goals mostly.  24 is certainly not too late at all.  The fact is you are achieiving them.  Well done as well for managing to achieve all this with anxiety and depression.  You should be very proud of yourself and I bet your Mum is too.  This is all down to your hard work and dedication.  It doesn't matter about the past, leave it behind.

I have had my share of strange and very nosy neighbours!  I had one until recently (I moved) and he used to say creepy things to me and my kids.  I felt like he was constantly watching and I did see him in his window most times I left my house.  He always had an opinion and felt it was his right to know what was going on in my life.  He did this with other neighbours too.  Alot of people would advice to ignore them, but that is alot harder said than done.  How about when you leave the house hold yourself confidently and give a wave in their direction, they might realise you know they are watching lol, have a little light hearted fun to help you brush it off.

I might add that as an anxiety sufferer, when it is particularly bad, I can be quite paranoid, so maybe try and be concious of that.  

Good luck with everything.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I guess you’re right. My mom tell me not to worry about it, and that they know nothing about me. The neighbor house smells like piss, she has about 7 cats, 2 dogs, and she’s very judgmental, she judges the neighbors children and I just get a bad vibe from her. My mom will be moving soon. But I admit I am very paranoid… and think very irrational. The thing is no one can convince me that my thoughts are irrational until I stop worrying about it.


You often find judgemental people often are far from perfect.  This is why they do it, because it mskes them feel better, trying to drag others down.  

You are still young, and one thing I learn't about my anxiety is as time goes by and as you face different life challenges and get through them, you will find it lessen, because you have got through them.  I say this from experience.  Just think in five years will that neighbour matter to you?  Your Mum will have moved, so even when you see your Mum you won't be seeing this neighbour.  She will be carry on with her miserable attitude while you are making things happen in your life, just like you already are.  :).

This is a good point in general....will it matter if five years?  If the answer is no..then...it probably doesn't matter now.  You said you dress like a bum? Change the way you dress.  

Worry is a useless emotion..right along with jealousy..and a few others...  Worry is concern over something that may or may not happen.  

Others opinion of you is irrelevant.  You mom..and yourself....are important....anyone else...of no concern.   I can count on one hand the number of people whos opinion of me...I actually value..
 
Restless soul said:
Well i am 37. With similar thoughts and feelings and in a bad place living at home. So the best thing and the healthiest thing if you still live at home is to think about chnaging your location. Own place.

This is a good goal to work on.  You just got a car?  See if you can get a job...save money..take advantage of living at home...then get your own place when you can.

I agree with restless soul....this would be a great..measurable and achievable goal to work on.
 
I haven't read all the reactions because... ugh reading...

I have had a period myself in wich I always felt like everyone was watching me, judging me and my choices.
I know this is going to be hard but you have to come to point where you no longer care about what others think of you, and with outhers I mostly mean people that aren't a big part of your life, like a neighbour.

This isn't something you can just decide to do, i've had many times where i would decide to do something i was uncomfortable with only to relapse and stop doing it eventhough i did want to. But if you keep trying it will get easier in time.

One more thing, poeple will always judge, it's not something you can control or change about them, it's a flaw in those people that affects you only asmuch as you let it, take comfort in the fact that they have a problem just like you do and are in no way perfect.

Good luck!
 
Who cares what your neighbor thinks or doesn't think about anything? Do they pay your bills? If not, then your life is none of their business. However, they may just trying to be friendly. Some people just blurt out stupid crap in an attempt to make conversation. Or, maybe they are just nosy. Either way, there is no reason to think about what they might or might not be thinking about. It simply doesn't matter.
 
TheAnxiousPain said:
I feel like my neighbor thinks I’m slow. I’m 24 still living with my mom. I dress like a bum I feel like cause I didn’t have a job or car for years. I just got a car this year, and I feel like my neighbors are watching me and plotting to see where I’m going when I leave. My neighbor once said to me “every time I see you, you’re going somewhere”.  I feel like she was being funny as to say I look dumb by keep leaving and leaving, but I do so to get out to find a job and to get away from my mom. I don’t say much, I am very quiet, my mom does a lot for me, and I am still living there. I just got a job which is BIG because I can’t hold a job, and I have serious amounts of anxiety. I don’t have a love life or social life at the moment because I been depressed for a while and I feel the neighbors and people around can sense that. I feel like they know I don’t have any friends or anything. But I don’t know them personally and never spoke with them. I’m pretty much gone through the day, I work a crappy job that I am saving money from and I go to library to study for a course I’m taking. In 3 weeks I will be moving out of state to NYC for college, and a job.  I’m excited but yet anxious and feel guilty. Out of 3 years since we’ve lived here, my neighbors has seen how much of a low life I am. At 24 I should be further right? Very depressed, anxious and self-conscious.

In my opinion it's none of your neighbor's business where you go and what you do in your spare time. 

It seems like she's just being nosey. I've read a lot of people's replies and yes I have to agree a lot of people are critical of others because they themselves are unhappy so they try to project themselves onto others. Anyone who's trying to put you down and make you feel bad about yourself isn't worthy of your time. I can understand how you're neighbor's statement upset you though because I had a lot of people judge me too. So trust me, I can relate. I hope in the meantime you're anxiety and depression gets better and I mean this sincerely. Good luck on going to college and a job! That's wonderful and I wish you nothing but the best! =) 

You're not a lowlife TheAnxiousPain.

Trust me on that.

You're depressed and anxious and yet you're still trying to make it through your life. That's what truly matters.

Trust me overtime things will get better. Just don't give up. 

e0f22c40505f1e88deca791061d51d17.jpg
 
Sorry I am confused. So, your problem is that you feel bad about how your neighbours feel about how you feel. Hmm interesting...
 
MisterLonely said:
I haven't read all the reactions because... ugh reading...

I have had a period myself in wich I always felt like everyone was watching me, judging me and my choices.
I know this is going to be hard but you have to come to point where you no longer care about what others think of you, and with outhers I mostly mean people that aren't a big part of your life, like a neighbour.

This isn't something you can just decide to do, i've had many times where i would decide to do something i was uncomfortable with only to relapse and stop doing it eventhough i did want to. But if you keep trying it will get easier in time.

One more thing, poeple will always judge, it's not something you can control or change about them, it's a flaw in those people that affects you only asmuch as you let it, take comfort in the fact that they have a problem just like you do and are in no way perfect.

Good luck!

Good stuff here!  You can only control YOUR thoughts and actions...not those of others....
 
My neighbor is a bit of a jerk, I just ignore him, try to not say hi or even look at him.
 
TheAnxiousPain said:
I feel like my neighbor thinks I’m slow. I’m 24 still living with my mom. I dress like a bum I feel like cause I didn’t have a job or car for years. I just got a car this year, and I feel like my neighbors are watching me and plotting to see where I’m going when I leave. My neighbor once said to me “every time I see you, you’re going somewhere”.  I feel like she was being funny as to say I look dumb by keep leaving and leaving, but I do so to get out to find a job and to get away from my mom. I don’t say much, I am very quiet, my mom does a lot for me, and I am still living there. I just got a job which is BIG because I can’t hold a job, and I have serious amounts of anxiety. I don’t have a love life or social life at the moment because I been depressed for a while and I feel the neighbors and people around can sense that. I feel like they know I don’t have any friends or anything. But I don’t know them personally and never spoke with them. I’m pretty much gone through the day, I work a crappy job that I am saving money from and I go to library to study for a course I’m taking. In 3 weeks I will be moving out of state to NYC for college, and a job.  I’m excited but yet anxious and feel guilty. Out of 3 years since we’ve lived here, my neighbors has seen how much of a low life I am. At 24 I should be further right? Very depressed, anxious and self-conscious.

I could do like some people and vent here because of my situation but I won't. I'll just say that I know for sure my family thinks I'm slow and is against my way of life. Moreover if I'm sad or down or whatever it is my fault apparently.. I can't drive, at my age I should be "further" as you said etc..

In all of this I couldn't care less of my neighbors to be honest. The answer is imho most people can't sense your depression or anything really, and if they can they don't care. Those few that care maybe are friends. What to do? Just try to improve for yourself and do your best, and don't care about what other people say. Also stop negative thoughts. That's all there is to it.. not simple surely.. but that's it.
 
Wayfarer said:
TheAnxiousPain said:
I feel like my neighbor thinks I’m slow. I’m 24 still living with my mom. I dress like a bum I feel like cause I didn’t have a job or car for years. I just got a car this year, and I feel like my neighbors are watching me and plotting to see where I’m going when I leave. My neighbor once said to me “every time I see you, you’re going somewhere”.  I feel like she was being funny as to say I look dumb by keep leaving and leaving, but I do so to get out to find a job and to get away from my mom. I don’t say much, I am very quiet, my mom does a lot for me, and I am still living there. I just got a job which is BIG because I can’t hold a job, and I have serious amounts of anxiety. I don’t have a love life or social life at the moment because I been depressed for a while and I feel the neighbors and people around can sense that. I feel like they know I don’t have any friends or anything. But I don’t know them personally and never spoke with them. I’m pretty much gone through the day, I work a crappy job that I am saving money from and I go to library to study for a course I’m taking. In 3 weeks I will be moving out of state to NYC for college, and a job.  I’m excited but yet anxious and feel guilty. Out of 3 years since we’ve lived here, my neighbors has seen how much of a low life I am. At 24 I should be further right? Very depressed, anxious and self-conscious.

I could do like some people and vent here because of my situation but I won't. I'll just say that I know for sure my family thinks I'm slow and is against my way of life. Moreover if I'm sad or down or whatever it is my fault apparently.. I can't drive, at my age I should be "further" as you said etc..

In all of this I couldn't care less of my neighbors to be honest. The answer is imho most people can't sense your depression or anything really, and if they can they don't care. Those few that care maybe are friends. What to do? Just try to improve for yourself and do your best, and don't care about what other people say. Also stop negative thoughts. That's all there is to it.. not simple surely.. but that's it.

I pray for you. And when I tell you i know your story so well, I mean it.
 
Forsaken-Knight said:
Serenia said:
TheAnxiousPain said:
Serenia said:
I think you are doing fantastic.  There is no timeline on achieving your goals mostly.  24 is certainly not too late at all.  The fact is you are achieiving them.  Well done as well for managing to achieve all this with anxiety and depression.  You should be very proud of yourself and I bet your Mum is too.  This is all down to your hard work and dedication.  It doesn't matter about the past, leave it behind.

I have had my share of strange and very nosy neighbours!  I had one until recently (I moved) and he used to say creepy things to me and my kids.  I felt like he was constantly watching and I did see him in his window most times I left my house.  He always had an opinion and felt it was his right to know what was going on in my life.  He did this with other neighbours too.  Alot of people would advice to ignore them, but that is alot harder said than done.  How about when you leave the house hold yourself confidently and give a wave in their direction, they might realise you know they are watching lol, have a little light hearted fun to help you brush it off.

I might add that as an anxiety sufferer, when it is particularly bad, I can be quite paranoid, so maybe try and be concious of that.  

Good luck with everything.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I guess you’re right. My mom tell me not to worry about it, and that they know nothing about me. The neighbor house smells like piss, she has about 7 cats, 2 dogs, and she’s very judgmental, she judges the neighbors children and I just get a bad vibe from her. My mom will be moving soon. But I admit I am very paranoid… and think very irrational. The thing is no one can convince me that my thoughts are irrational until I stop worrying about it.


You often find judgemental people often are far from perfect.  This is why they do it, because it mskes them feel better, trying to drag others down.  

You are still young, and one thing I learn't about my anxiety is as time goes by and as you face different life challenges and get through them, you will find it lessen, because you have got through them.  I say this from experience.  Just think in five years will that neighbour matter to you?  Your Mum will have moved, so even when you see your Mum you won't be seeing this neighbour.  She will be carry on with her miserable attitude while you are making things happen in your life, just like you already are.  :).

This is a good point in general....will it matter if five years?  If the answer is no..then...it probably doesn't matter now.  You said you dress like a bum? Change the way you dress.  

Worry is a useless emotion..right along with jealousy..and a few others...  Worry is concern over something that may or may not happen.  

Others opinion of you is irrelevant.  You mom..and yourself....are important....anyone else...of no concern.   I can count on one hand the number of people whos opinion of me...I actually value..

thank you guys so much. And you're so right. Ima keep it moving.
 

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