Introduction

'Ello, I'm Dan. *Offers hugs* I'm from north England, and I'm 31. Or rather I am until I turn 32. Then there will be a wee technical hitch.

Even online I have felt a repeated suffering that friends acquaintances and supposedly new penfriends have disappeared on me without ever being given a reason. It was always the same for me at work - people gravitated towards each other socially, only proffering asymmetrical and socially pressured chitchat with me as though I have a forcefield around me. It certainly feels as though what's left of my soul on the days I feel low, has a forcefield around it. It's like the whole world has fun in a transparent glass house, and I'm locked out, but nobody tells me where the key is.

Regretfully find I even my closest friend nearly abandoned me recently at my darkest point, having done so before. I got from many years ago very used to being open and as deep with people online as they wanted, so I have managed to get some deep emotional relationships going, but in reality things are askance and different. I want to meet new people but have no idea how to do so fluidly. There's a big fireshow here though which I can try to attend, so that's my goal upcoming, try to talk to random people. That at least holds little angst for me, as I was used to social rejection [or nonacknowledgement] throughout school, bullied or known as a comic figure by my being not the same, which I will refuse ever to be for its own sake.

I hope to be awesome to others and meet those who can be awesome to me here. If my introduction has struck you as overly deep, or lacking useful info, please do tell me - I never fear confrontation or directness, and savour it in fact. Please also realise that you might get a false impression of me from these paragraphs, I have always struggled to apportion out appropriate details with people at a steady rate, so I hope nobody drowns trying to swim to me.

Hello Dan,

Let me be the first to welcome you, just having signed up myself.
Your intro is wonderfull, i wish i could put my thoughts and feelings to word in such a way.

You talk about a metaphorical (please let me have spelled that correctly!) forcefield, and let me start with that!

The forcefield is a good analogy, and in my own attemts to break free from it i've come to understand something important and that is that everyone has such a forcefield, making friends is easy in your teens, you naturally meet allot of people (mostly) and as you are looking to expand your social circles so are most of your peers.

Here is where the forcefield problems comes up, most people in their 30's have solidified their social circles, i.e. their forcefield is up and you have little to no chance of breaking through, you might be interpreting this as interference from your own forcefield wich it is not.

Talking to random people hoping to make friends could work if you by chance get someone who's forcefield is down, learning to identify the people who are open to meeting friends might help allot.

Wichever way you go please remember that if you "fail" at making a friend, it's not all your fault!

Let me know if this is helpfull at all or not

Welcome to the forum, Dan. Nice to have you on board.