Feeling lonely living alone

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1stTiger

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I recently moved across the country and don't have any family or relatives where I currently live. I currently live alone as well. Because of this, I have felt really lonely.

I feel like I know a lot of people in the area but no one ever visits me or hangs out with me. Also, they never initiate contact with me on Facebook. It bothers me because if people never initiate contact with me, it means they often aren't thinking about me. Whenever I ask if they want to hang out, they say they're busy, yet I see them hanging out with other people on other days. It sort of makes me feel like an outcast and that no one wants to be around me. It is very upsetting.

I tried online dating to fill the void of not having reliable friends, but there are way more flakers and liars out there in online dating that it's almost worse. People on online dating always talk a big game but never meet.

I think I read a long time ago on ALL forums that someone used to talk on the suicide hotline since no one wanted to talk to them. I've thought about that just to talk to someone but I think people on the suicide hotline have better things to do honestly like trying to save lives so I don't bother.

I've thought about getting a roommate but I just haven't found anyone suitable yet. No one seems to want to contact me anyway. :(

Does anyone have any suggestions?
 
Know how you feel. Nobody initiates with me ever, even online. That's got to be an all time low considering people can't even see you online.
 
Lets try to look at the positive side of this situation, you are outgoing and unafraid to meet new people.
I'm the kind of person that doesn't trust easily, i can be friendly with people very easily, but to open up and let them know the real me takes ages... it takes too long for the other person that is.

Since you asked for advice i'll give you the best advice i can give you;
1. Be yourself, and be true to yourself.
2. Find something to do, something social, if you like reading then join a bookclub, like sports join a gym/club, ect.

What did help me way back when i was overcoming social anxiety was "studying" other people, what did I do unknowingly that was different from others, slouching, avoiding eyecontact, constantly looking at the ground before you while walking (though great to avoid doggy doo-doo).

Those are some of the things you might not know your doing, but wich send out a signal to others to stay away.

I hope you find this constructive and that it helps you combat your loneliness, do not give up!
 
I think I'm most lonely when I'm home. When I'm outside, I don't feel as lonely. Maybe the solution for me is just to get out of the house more. Though, I still don't have many reliable friends so meh.
 
Start new activities! It will also help make new acquates that also like stuff like you.
 
Why did you move across the country? I presume for a job? But, sometimes moving isn't all it's cracked up to be. Maybe you want to spend some time and get some experience and ultimately move closer to home.
However, it does take time to adjust. Maybe try joining some things? What are you interested in? Perhaps a church, civic club, gym, etc. Do what interests you though. Don't join something that you are not interested in.
 
I know how you feel. I will be moving to another state shortly, and I hope that my loneliness improves and that I gain a social life. Here, I hate the loneliness, the same fake and phony people in my family and etc.
 
dd11 said:
Why did you move across the country?  I presume for a job?  But, sometimes moving isn't all it's cracked up to be.  Maybe you want to spend some time and get some experience and ultimately move closer to home.  
 However, it does take time to adjust.  Maybe try joining some things?  What are you interested in?   Perhaps a church, civic club, gym, etc.  Do what interests you though.  Don't join something that you are not interested in.

Yeah for a job. Well I had less friends (close to 0) in my previous location so it was worse really.

I've been spending my nights mostly wondering why no one messages me on Internet or local people that I know don't hang out with me.

Maybe I haven't realized yet that people don't really care about my life. I guess it just takes time.
 
I think I know the feeling. Sometimes this house makes me go insane. There's no point in anything in here, and just sitting waiting for the days to pass is terrible. Sometimes I go for walks just to not sit inside without anything to do. The only one who checks up on me as if I mattered at all is mother. Many use to say "get better self confidence and people will hang out with you!" and similar unhelpful things. When a self-confidence has been shaped, it's not just to go to the grocery store to buy a new, "better" one...

Maybe start a spare time activity? It did not help with the loneliness for me, but it took away some of the time I used to think about it... which actually made me feel a bit better. Like I was not just sitting rotting away ALL the time. Good luck, no matter how it continues :)
 
1stTiger said:
dd11 said:
Why did you move across the country?  I presume for a job?  But, sometimes moving isn't all it's cracked up to be.  Maybe you want to spend some time and get some experience and ultimately move closer to home.  
 However, it does take time to adjust.  Maybe try joining some things?  What are you interested in?   Perhaps a church, civic club, gym, etc.  Do what interests you though.  Don't join something that you are not interested in.

Yeah for a job. Well I had less friends (close to 0) in my previous location so it was worse really.

I've been spending my nights mostly wondering why no one messages me on Internet or local people that I know don't hang out with me.

Maybe I haven't realized yet that people don't really care about my life. I guess it just takes time.

How old are you? What would you like to have?
 
I can relate to how  you feel,  even though  we have completely  different  circumstances. I am what people would consider sb very nirmal, i have a partner and family and friends, but they're  not  where i live  either. Where i live i have people  i meet and even one very close  friend,  but honestly  i just feel very empty  and lonely  inside.  I live in  a uni dirm so i am never reaĺly alone but im lonely af. It sucks. Guess my depression is back it haopens every year around this time. My problem is i compensate  by eating.  I used to binge and then feel guilty  but ut helped  me get sleep at least. Also problematic  is that i eat when im bored so all i used to do was eat eat eat. Right now  im trying  to lose weight  again, i go all day by eating  an apple and then i come  home  loneliness  hits me in the face  and its so incredibly  hard not to lose discipline.  Which i haven't  managed  a single time since i started. Making me mire sad making me eat more making  me lonely. .. we should really get out if the house  more often  for our own sake
 
Dont mean to offen when i said "normal " it wasnt to imply anyone else here isnt, just mean that i am mediocre and average
 

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