Society Pressure on Loneliness

MortSahlfan said:

I wonder if some people who might generally be alright being alone are diverted with society's norms, and that if you are alone, no one loves you, etc etc... Sex is used everywhere, to advertise, etc etc.

I have noticed that by staying home that I'm not worrying about possibilities. When I go to a grocery store, just making eye contact can give you an imagination, but the last time, I did my shopping and left... By not doing whatever everyone else is doing (?) you might be able to realize the loss of probability might allow you to focus on something else?

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Rodent said:

Yeah, I think if you don't subject yourself much to societal pressures in the form of advertising or just the presense of other people, you will experience a lot less pressure to achieve certain predefined goals. But if it's a desire that's already deeply ingrained within you, it will grow on its own and might become unbearable in the long run. One could argue that even if you cut out the part of outside influence or "nurture", you can't escape certain "natural" inclinations.

Personally, I don't envy or desire anyone else when I'm among people. Rather the opposite. The more continuous time I have to spent among other people, the more my misanthropy and detachment grows.

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DarkSelene said:

I couldn't have said this better, but I don't think those desires are ingrained, I think a lot of the unbearable feeling is because of society and the "normal" expectations. Maybe wanting company or love in some ways is natural because we are social animals, but it doesn't need to be in the way others expect. I live a very lonely life, never got along with peers and I'm a little judgy about family/parents, my relationships were always long distance and friends also mostly online. I know myself enough to know that I can't handle someone always wanting my presence and/or counting on it everyday. I think people need to forget about social expectations and figure out what's best for themselves.

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Rodent said:

DarkSelene said:

I couldn't have said this better, but I don't think those desires are ingrained, I think a lot of the unbearable feeling is because of society and the "normal" expectations. Maybe wanting company or love in some ways is natural because we are social animals, but it doesn't need to be in the way others expect. I live a very lonely life, never got along with peers and I'm a little judgy about family/parents, my relationships were always long distance and friends also mostly online. I know myself enough to know that I can't handle someone always wanting my presence and/or counting on it everyday. I think people need to forget about social expectations and figure out what's best for themselves.

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Sure, I am not denying that a huge portion of that pressure is coming from society and the idea of "normalcy". I'm certainly not saying these desires are the same for everyone across the board either, but I do believe they exist more often than not within people and in varying degrees. Same with the concepts of love and company which we would all have a general idea of, even without society's messages which distort the concept and/or add additional layers to it.

That's what I gathered from observing other people at least and I personally see myself as an outlier. An exception to a rule does not disprove a rule after all. Regardless of knowing all of this - and desperately explaining it to other people including my closest family - I know I can never get away from societal expectations or the aggressive altruism of people thinking they know what's best for me because of what they think is best for them.

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planetlonely23 said:

Imagining a mock society where things are divided by our stimulus decisions and not by potential interests on capital, we can create stigmatic patterns to deal with our priorities, meaning with that having a total independence from social government behaviour. All of these will make any difference?, will it make a caos on society? I think when society rules are made for some global interests, basically on money, that pressure will mean something for people or we need those rules to follow a path to go  on the right direction.

I think will be caos in any way, many people needs that rules to be orientated so government take advantage for their interets, others will get those rules from their own interestests without care about others. And other people will go in their own without bother other people, making their own rules and contributing by individual acts to improve our society.

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Rodent said:

Yeah, I think if you don't subject yourself much to societal pressures in the form of advertising or just the presense of other people, you will experience a lot less pressure to achieve certain predefined goals. But if it's a desire that's already deeply ingrained within you, it will grow on its own and might become unbearable in the long run. One could argue that even if you cut out the part of outside influence or "nurture", you can't escape certain "natural" inclinations.

Personally, I don't envy or desire anyone else when I'm among people. Rather the opposite. The more continuous time I have to spent among other people, the more my misanthropy and detachment grows.

Click to expand...