Lying About Your Age

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Case

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TL-DR: I am going to start lying about my age because I am tired of correcting people who get it wrong. 

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I just turned 50 yrs old. It was a quiet transition into my second half-century (if I last that long.) 

Now, if you go through my posting history, you will see that I have always had a problem with looking younger. 

I know. Why on earth would I call that a problem? Well, I can only speak for myself, but all my life I have struggled to be heard, to be recognized, to be believed,  and to have the weight of my accumulated knowledge impress upon others the fact that I know what I am talking about. 

Almost daily, I hear comments like this:

"Oh, you're nowhere near the age of my kids." (Both of her kids were under 45.)

"You must have been a toddler in 1976." (I was 10.)

"You couldn't possibly have seen 'All In the Family' when it was first on" (I actually watched it semi-regularly.)

These are examples of how people see me. I recently ate at the counter of a local diner, and started chatting with a guy around his late 60s. When he guessed my age, he said 25. When I told him I was 50, he was surprised. Shocked, even.

So, why has it been a problem for me? Simple. No one gives me any credit for having seen what I have seen, or lived the life I've lived. I am frequently dismissed because everyone thinks I'm too young to know any better.

So, I spend an inordinate amount of energy proving these people wrong. Trying alI can to gain the respect I have sought, despite my youthful features.

Now that I am 50, people are even more animated and shocked when I tell them how old I am.

But I recently wondered why I do it? Why do I try so hard to correct people who think I am young? Is it really that bad to be dismissed?

So, I have decided to try a new tack; I am going to go with the flow. If someone asks me how old I am, I will say 35 and see if anyone calls me on it. If someone claims I couldn't possibly have been alive in the Seventies, I will not correct them. 

Whatever age someone claims I am, I will say they are correct. Why? I am just tired of fighting. I am tired of having to constantly correct people about my age. So now, I'm not going to correct anyone. Maybe this way, I will relieve myself of the burden of looking younger.

Do you fib about your age for any reason whatsoever? If so, was it difficult for you? I have always been super honest and lying is hard for me. But if I don't correct people, that is omitting the truth, which isn't as bad. Right?
 
Wow.. you must look really a lot younger than your age :eek:

I have the same problem but the thing is I'm young myself. I'm 26 and often they tell me I look 18 or younger, so yeah, that does annoy me a little bit.

Well, some will call that lying by omission, but yeah, it's not as bad, I think.
 
I can only go with what people say. I got the same at your age. In fact, I still get carded in bars sometimes, or at the grocery store if I'm buying beer.

My question, Wayfarer, is does it bother you that you look younger? For some reason, I have always hated the reaction people have given me, so I would fight it. That's what I'm giving up on. The fight to prove how old I am.
 
Well, yeah it does bother me. I actually often think that the way I behave, talk around other people also contributes to make me appear younger. And this is why it bothers me mainly.. also I guess many times people don't take me seriously, but idk if that is related to this or is a completely separate matter.

People always tell me I'm lucky and it's good for when I'll be 40 or so.. so I guess it's a positive thing. Until now lol Had never thought about the problems you described.
 
One day you will look in the mirror and say when did that change lol

I always got ..you look older ... was handy for buying alcohol in HS LOL
 
[video=youtube]youtubehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vn_PSJsl0LQ[/video]

Just do what you plan on doing...agree with anyone and go with it.  And no, not omitting the truth isn't bad at all, if the age thing bothers you.
 
I cared when I was younger, now I don't care and get a laugh out of the shocked look on peoples faces when they find out my real age.
 
I am four years older than you Case and I get told I could not be that age. I still have my long blonde hair and I am in good shape and health. I know how you feel. I hate when I am dismissed as to not having any notion or knowledge about things in the seventies or even the sixties. lol It use to bother me as well but not anymore, if I am asked a direct question as to my age I do not lie, I tell them. Their reaction to it, is no longer my concern I do not let it bug me. Took me ages to get use to it. When I was fourteen I looked older than my age. Which was very good for a young blonde gal who liked to go clubbing in the adult clubs. lol.. good times for me. Now I just go with the flow, love me, like me or hate me. I am who I am so too bad for them if they cannot accept me. I wish you bright blessings and that you find yourself happy and at peace with who you are.
 
Hey Case!
I was 27 until I was about 33. :D

Your problem is a curious one. I'm wondering how age comes up in your conversations, even with people you've just met. It's really none of anyone's business, isn't it?
Has age been on your mind a lot since you hit the big five-oh? Maybe your conversations are being steered to that topic without you even realizing it.

That said, if it's someone you're not likely to ever see again, and you're not comfortable telling your real age, I don't see any problem with being a little truthy.

If it's someone you've known awhile, it's possible they can make at least an accurate guess within a decade or so of your age if you've already talked about cultural references, etc.
 
I think you are making too much of this. I dont really dont know why this matters to you.
 
I'm 25 and not that long ago got asked to provide i.d to prove I wasn't under 18. Felt good actually but I can see your situation being different.
 
dd11 said:
I think you are making too much of this.   I dont really dont know why this matters to you.

I have to agree with this.  I'm not sure how your age comes into the discussions that would make it such a huge issue, but why do you have to tell them your age at all?  Who cares if they believe you or not, if you do tell them.  I suppose you could always show them some kind of official ID if you want to "prove" it to them, but really, I don't think it's anyone's business. 
As for the lying, what purpose would that serve in the long run?  People aren't on your back about your real age?  People could be hurt by the deception if it's not just a passing stranger or whatever.  So yeah, I would say don't lie, just don't tell.
 
TheRealCallie said:
dd11 said:
I think you are making too much of this.   I dont really dont know why this matters to you.

I have to agree with this.  I'm not sure how your age comes into the discussions that would make it such a huge issue, but why do you have to tell them your age at all?  Who cares if they believe you or not, if you do tell them.  I suppose you could always show them some kind of official ID if you want to "prove" it to them, but really, I don't think it's anyone's business. 
As for the lying, what purpose would that serve in the long run?  People aren't on your back about your real age?  People could be hurt by the deception if it's not just a passing stranger or whatever.  So yeah, I would say don't lie, just don't tell.

I am making a big issue out of it? I wish you could live in my shoes and see how often it comes up randomly. It's like I have a neon sign on my head that reads, "Guess My Age. If YOU Get Within 5 Years You Win a Prize."

This usually comes up In conversations with people I don't know. Mostly at my retail job. It usually surrounds something I saw or did which makes people react. Simple things like, "Ah, yes. I also saw such and such band in 1982," to which I get a quizzical look and an inquiry to my age. Normal conversations about news, music, movies, get people to suddenly stop and make some comment. 

To them, I could not possibly be old enough to have been there, so they are essentially saying that I am lying. And since I am absolute honest about myself, I tell people my real age. 

I suppose I could lie and say, "You're right. I'm not really that old. You caught me." But that would be a lie and would be deeply troubling to me.

This kind of "you're not that old" remark happens to me almost any time I say anything that disagrees with their assumption that I am no older than whatever age they think I am this time. 

When I was 35, no one thought I was 35. They thought I was 21, barely. It bothers me because this is a constant irritant. I'm trying to think of a comparable situation, but any comparisons are too sensitive to mention. Just imagine any physical trait that one would make assumptions about to the point where it would be bothersome. Maybe imagine someone young with gray hair, and how annoying it would be to have people think the person is older.

I wish I could feel good about it. But it has always been tied to the dismissiveness and light scoffing attitudes by people who have already summed me up by how I look. Therefore, I have associated it with negative feelings. I never make it into a big deal. People around me make it into a thing because they press the issue. It is not me that is shocked. It is anyone around me. I cannot count the times I have had a group of five or more demand to see my drivers license, all in the guise of fun.

I should add that I am never angry in these moments. I hide my irritation behind little quips like, "Yes, I guess I did get lucky," or "Yes, it does feel good." 

So, I suppose I have several possible routes to take: I could act like a prick and refuse to show my license; I could lie about my age and then have to remember every event I actually experienced that I cannot mention because it would tip off the lie; or I meditate and use CBT to embrace myself and my lot in life so that I can truly enjoy these constant age references.

I don't bring this up for sympathy because few people think this is a problem. A greater number of people even laugh that I think this is a problem because I should be happy to look so young. So says the person who knows nothing of my life.
 
Is a good thing to look younger. You will have have time to be old.by the way I’m 49 said:
TL-DR: I am going to start lying about my age because I am tired of correcting people who get it wrong. 

----------

I just turned 50 yrs old. It was a quiet transition into my second half-century (if I last that long.) 

Now, if you go through my posting history, you will see that I have always had a problem with looking younger. 

I know. Why on earth would I call that a problem? Well, I can only speak for myself, but all my life I have struggled to be heard, to be recognized, to be believed,  and to have the weight of my accumulated knowledge impress upon others the fact that I know what I am talking about. 

Almost daily, I hear comments like this:

"Oh, you're nowhere near the age of my kids." (Both of her kids were under 45.)

"You must have been a toddler in 1976." (I was 10.)

"You couldn't possibly have seen 'All In the Family' when it was first on" (I actually watched it semi-regularly.)

These are examples of how people see me. I recently ate at the counter of a local diner, and started chatting with a guy around his late 60s. When he guessed my age, he said 25. When I told him I was 50, he was surprised. Shocked, even.

So, why has it been a problem for me? Simple. No one gives me any credit for having seen what I have seen, or lived the life I've lived. I am frequently dismissed because everyone thinks I'm too young to know any better.

So, I spend an inordinate amount of energy proving these people wrong. Trying alI can to gain the respect I have sought, despite my youthful features.

Now that I am 50, people are even more animated and shocked when I tell them how old I am.

But I recently wondered why I do it? Why do I try so hard to correct people who think I am young? Is it really that bad to be dismissed?

So, I have decided to try a new tack; I am going to go with the flow. If someone asks me how old I am, I will say 35 and see if anyone calls me on it. If someone claims I couldn't possibly have been alive in the Seventies, I will not correct them. 

Whatever age someone claims I am, I will say they are correct. Why? I am just tired of fighting. I am tired of having to constantly correct people about my age. So now, I'm not going to correct anyone. Maybe this way, I will relieve myself of the burden of looking younger.

Do you fib about your age for any reason whatsoever? If so, was it difficult for you? I have always been super honest and lying is hard for me. But if I don't correct people, that is omitting the truth, which isn't as bad. Right?
 
If you could tell me one way that I can take advantage of this "looking young" curse I have, I would be interested to read it. People tell me all the time to be thankful. Thankful for what? Being treated with disrespect? No thanks.
 
Case said:
If you could tell me one way that I can take advantage of this "looking young" curse I have, I would be interested to read it. People tell me all the time to be thankful. Thankful for what? Being treated with disrespect? No thanks.

I don't have any answers for this "looking young" curse that you have and it's very clear that it's an issue for you....this is a 2 year old thread, eh?   But my thoughts are that once anyone deliberately tells a lie about themselves they're obliged to maintain the momentum of that lie, to support something untrue.....probably by more lies to keep up the first one.  It can get tricky, I've done it and seen other people do it.  It's something I don't want to repeat.

Dunno what I'd do if it was me in your position.  Probably take the path of least resistance and not correct someone's assumption of what my age is.  Probably try and absorb my irritation at being disrespected and being me, I'd get some sweet (and petty) revenge by quietly demonstrating knowledge and abilities "beyond my years".
 
I can see how it's a negative when dealing with people your own age, but I don't see how you could do this without people eventually finding out.
 
I look younger than I am, when I shave. I actually propose to the girl behind the counter that cards me for smokes ;-)

Not a curse in my experience. But it varies by mileage. We can only deal with how we are. Big bushy beards make you look older.
Though I'll take looking 25 forever, personnally.

Only downer to me is turning down girls who are clearly way too young for me. It sucks to see disapointment in a kids face when I tell her she's close to my own daughters age than to me lol.
 

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