Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
not sure why i try talking to people
#1
I have no social skills at all. Most of the time when I try talking to someone I just sit in silence because I have such a hard time thinking of what to say. It doesn't seem to matter if it's actually speaking with someone or just text chat online, I just can't seem to talk to people at all unless they give me something I can talk about. I also have a bad habit of saying the wrong things when I do speak up. So I'm sure that some people are either thinking that I'm not interested and don't care because I don't say much, or I'm simply saying the wrong things and unintentionally scaring them off. I don't know what's wrong with me, I just can't seem to get over this. I seem to be driving away so many people that I talk to because of it, and it's driving me crazy. I feel like I need to just stop trying, and not even bother trying to make friends anymore. I just don't know why I even try anymore, I really don't know what I'm doing.
Reply
#2
You are entirely wrong. I've never had any problems with talking to you. Silences aren't awkward, you don't have to fill every second with philosophy or whatever. Sometimes just knowing someone is there is enough. You don't give yourself enough credit, you're naturally funny, you talk as much crap as I do, what's not to like? And shenmue.
You're just having a wobble, and that's OK.  This doesn't define you.
Reply
#3
Sometimes it's good to stop trying & have a break. You could take the time to reflect or do something inspiring.
Reply
#4
Don't try to make friends, people who will understand your way of communicating will get interested in being your friend, the people who just don't get it or judge the way you carry yourself don't really matter.

(10-20-2016, 02:41 PM)nibbysaurus Wrote: Silences aren't awkward, you don't have to fill every second with philosophy or whatever.

This is so true, and she seems to know you well enough to confirm what I'm saying!
[Image: tumblr_nijo7fZHBz1qg20oho1_500.gif]
"Being young and dipped in folly, I fell in love with melancholy"
-Edgar A. Poe
Reply
#5
(10-21-2016, 05:46 AM)DarkSelene Wrote: Don't try to make friends, people who will understand your way of communicating will get interested in being your friend, the people who just don't get it or judge the way you carry yourself don't really matter.

(10-20-2016, 02:41 PM)nibbysaurus Wrote: Silences aren't awkward, you don't have to fill every second with philosophy or whatever.

This is so true, and she seems to know you well enough to confirm what I'm saying!

I think my mistake is that I've been trying to make friends, and unfortunately it seems like most people I've met just want no part of me once they see how I am. It seems that most just can't deal with the fact that I'm not very good socially, so any conversations with those people just end and never start up again. You're right about nibbysaurus. She is very important to me. Plus she knows more about me than most people do, and is one of only a few people that are willing to accept me for the way I am. I really don't know what I would do if it wasn't for her to be honest.
Reply
#6
(10-21-2016, 06:25 PM)haywud Wrote:
(10-21-2016, 05:46 AM)DarkSelene Wrote: Don't try to make friends, people who will understand your way of communicating will get interested in being your friend, the people who just don't get it or judge the way you carry yourself don't really matter.

(10-20-2016, 02:41 PM)nibbysaurus Wrote: Silences aren't awkward, you don't have to fill every second with philosophy or whatever.

This is so true, and she seems to know you well enough to confirm what I'm saying!

I think my mistake is that I've been trying to make friends, and unfortunately it seems like most people I've met just want no part of me once they see how I am. It seems that most just can't deal with the fact that I'm not very good socially, so any conversations with those people just end and never start up again. You're right about nibbysaurus. She is very important to me. Plus she knows more about me than most people do, and is one of only a few people that are willing to accept me for the way I am. I really don't know what I would do if it wasn't for her to be honest.

Believe me, I know how that plays out. Most people don't want to make an effort to connect and I think they become very superficial in a way... it's like they never truly seek to understand or to know someone on a deeper level. They perceive differences like those as flaws, and might even ask "what's wrong with you" but I think you shouldn't care about those types. Maybe if you reflect more on yourself and your relationships you would understand the type of people that you get along with better, like nibbysaurus.
Im very glad you have someone like her in your life for support. That's a strong statement, being a newbie in this forum I'm also hopeful for that kind of connection, makes me happy to see.
[Image: tumblr_nijo7fZHBz1qg20oho1_500.gif]
"Being young and dipped in folly, I fell in love with melancholy"
-Edgar A. Poe
Reply
#7
(10-20-2016, 01:04 PM)haywud Wrote: I have no social skills at all. Most of the time when I try talking to someone I just sit in silence because I have such a hard time thinking of what to say. It doesn't seem to matter if it's actually speaking with someone or just text chat online, I just can't seem to talk to people at all unless they give me something I can talk about. I also have a bad habit of saying the wrong things when I do speak up. So I'm sure that some people are either thinking that I'm not interested and don't care because I don't say much, or I'm simply saying the wrong things and unintentionally scaring them off. I don't know what's wrong with me, I just can't seem to get over this. I seem to be driving away so many people that I talk to because of it, and it's driving me crazy. I feel like I need to just stop trying, and not even bother trying to make friends anymore. I just don't know why I even try anymore, I really don't know what I'm doing.


Maybe it's social anxiety disorder it's not that uncommon I've seen people really struggle to just answer a simple question like the act of just voicing the words is a real physical challange...there are medicatications that may help.. it's not something you should just accept...I really would advise you to write down in detail the difficulties your experiencing and speak as far as your able to your Doc..having it written down will help a lot in the event your unable to speak about these difficulties
Reply
#8
(10-21-2016, 08:31 PM)DarkSelene Wrote: Believe me, I know how that plays out. Most people don't want to make an effort to connect and I think they become very superficial in a way... it's like they never truly seek to understand or to know someone on a deeper level. They perceive differences like those as flaws, and might even ask "what's wrong with you" but I think you shouldn't care about those types. Maybe if you reflect more on yourself and your relationships you would understand the type of people that you get along with better, like nibbysaurus.
Im very glad you have someone like her in your life for support. That's a strong statement, being a newbie in this forum I'm also hopeful for that kind of connection, makes me happy to see.

It's weird because I usually seem to be able to get along pretty well with most people, yet unless I have something to talk about that I really know about I just sort of sit there and say nothing. I hate that I'm giving people the impression that I don't care or that I'm ignoring them, because that isn't what I'm trying to do at all. I want to make and keep friends, not throw them away. I try not to let it bother me when I end up driving people away, but I just can't help it.

As for nibbysaurus, yeah she was one of the first people to contact me when I created my account here. There just seemed to be a special connection early on, and now it isn't a proper day unless I talk to her. I'd offer to chat with you, but like I said I'm just afraid to try making new friends anymore. You can try chatting with me if you want, I don't mind, but just remember that I have a hard time really saying anything unless I have something to talk about.

(10-22-2016, 02:14 AM)sothatwasmylife Wrote: Maybe it's social anxiety disorder it's not that uncommon I've seen people really struggle to just answer a simple question like the act of just voicing the words is a real physical challange...there are medicatications that may help.. it's not something you should just accept...I really would advise you to write down in detail the difficulties your experiencing and speak as far as your able to your Doc..having it written down will help a lot in the event your unable to speak about these difficulties

I want to blame my depression, but I don't know if that's really to blame or not because it seems like social anxiety. I didn't always used to have so many problems though, but now I seem to have troubles saying some of the simplest things to people. I get so nervous for some reason just trying to start a simple conversation, or just asking a simple question. I think I've just developed a fear of talking to people even though I never had any trouble in the past. I wish I could go back and find when this really started so I could pinpoint what the cause might be.
Reply
#9
(10-22-2016, 02:50 PM)haywud Wrote:
(10-21-2016, 08:31 PM)DarkSelene Wrote: Believe me, I know how that plays out. Most people don't want to make an effort to connect and I think they become very superficial in a way... it's like they never truly seek to understand or to know someone on a deeper level. They perceive differences like those as flaws, and might even ask "what's wrong with you" but I think you shouldn't care about those types. Maybe if you reflect more on yourself and your relationships you would understand the type of people that you get along with better, like nibbysaurus.
Im very glad you have someone like her in your life for support. That's a strong statement, being a newbie in this forum I'm also hopeful for that kind of connection, makes me happy to see.

It's weird because I usually seem to be able to get along pretty well with most people, yet unless I have something to talk about that I really know about I just sort of sit there and say nothing. I hate that I'm giving people the impression that I don't care or that I'm ignoring them, because that isn't what I'm trying to do at all. I want to make and keep friends, not throw them away. I try not to let it bother me when I end up driving people away, but I just can't help it.

As for nibbysaurus, yeah she was one of the first people to contact me when I created my account here. There just seemed to be a special connection early on, and now it isn't a proper day unless I talk to her. I'd offer to chat with you, but like I said I'm just afraid to try making new friends anymore. You can try chatting with me if you want, I don't mind, but just remember that I have a hard time really saying anything unless I have something to talk about.

Haywud is awesome. Talk to Haywud. He might take a while to get back to you if I'm talking at the same time, because my face is distracting. But he's a good guy, and genuine too.
Reply
#10
(10-23-2016, 01:26 AM)nibbysaurus Wrote:
(10-22-2016, 02:50 PM)haywud Wrote:
(10-21-2016, 08:31 PM)DarkSelene Wrote: Believe me, I know how that plays out. Most people don't want to make an effort to connect and I think they become very superficial in a way... it's like they never truly seek to understand or to know someone on a deeper level. They perceive differences like those as flaws, and might even ask "what's wrong with you" but I think you shouldn't care about those types. Maybe if you reflect more on yourself and your relationships you would understand the type of people that you get along with better, like nibbysaurus.
Im very glad you have someone like her in your life for support. That's a strong statement, being a newbie in this forum I'm also hopeful for that kind of connection, makes me happy to see.

It's weird because I usually seem to be able to get along pretty well with most people, yet unless I have something to talk about that I really know about I just sort of sit there and say nothing. I hate that I'm giving people the impression that I don't care or that I'm ignoring them, because that isn't what I'm trying to do at all. I want to make and keep friends, not throw them away. I try not to let it bother me when I end up driving people away, but I just can't help it.

As for nibbysaurus, yeah she was one of the first people to contact me when I created my account here. There just seemed to be a special connection early on, and now it isn't a proper day unless I talk to her. I'd offer to chat with you, but like I said I'm just afraid to try making new friends anymore. You can try chatting with me if you want, I don't mind, but just remember that I have a hard time really saying anything unless I have something to talk about.

Haywud is awesome. Talk to Haywud. He might take a while to get back to you if I'm talking at the same time, because my face is distracting. But he's a good guy, and genuine too.
 
I'll definitely reach out. Feel like we have some things in common Smile
[Image: tumblr_nijo7fZHBz1qg20oho1_500.gif]
"Being young and dipped in folly, I fell in love with melancholy"
-Edgar A. Poe
Reply


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  what do you think gives people value? Nicholas 10 726 04-21-2017, 12:16 PM
Last Post: Eternitydreamer
  Advice Encouraging People to be Fake michael2 17 718 04-19-2017, 01:46 PM
Last Post: Meaw
  Do you just not meet people you like anymore? LonelySutton 36 3,724 04-02-2017, 12:09 AM
Last Post: Jack Rainier
  Do some people just go through life friendless? Unliked? IceCastles 25 4,444 03-30-2017, 06:21 PM
Last Post: Eternitydreamer
  Am I better off alone? Reaching out to people who don't reach back. Gemmy 21 3,211 03-30-2017, 06:04 PM
Last Post: Eternitydreamer
  Judgment by people. pinocio 18 2,012 02-05-2017, 12:05 PM
Last Post: jasedude2002
  Are most people unreliable? Northern Lights 9 924 01-16-2017, 02:05 AM
Last Post: Rodent
  Triggered by coworkers bragging about ghosting people...lots of triggers... IceCastles 19 1,898 11-26-2016, 12:07 AM
Last Post: dd11
  Afraid to meet new people. azuresky96 9 1,258 10-14-2016, 03:30 AM
Last Post: Tealeaf
  helping people socialise mack01 6 2,252 10-08-2016, 10:44 PM
Last Post: mack01

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)