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DarkSelene

Guest
Hello!

I'm a 21 year old woman... I don't really like being the center of attention so this is a bit uncomfortable for me, but since I registered yesterday I've seen that most people here are great acquaitances and I hope to maybe make friends so I should try at least saying hi. haha
I've never seen my loliness as something bad for me, it's actually one of few things that make me feel at ease (animals and reading being the other ones), but lately I've been needing outsiders perspectives in my life subjects and I seek people that can understand me, or parts of me, my loliness being the biggest one of all... I felt this was the right place to be. 

I've been reading various threads in a bunch of topics here and I like the people, their opinions and how sincere and mostly not judgemental they sound... so I think this could be a really cool place to share my problems or thoughts, make friends, feel a little happier. My feelings about what I read were mostly really good, so I hope I can also make people feel good here, maybe brighten someones day, be a companion... I don't know. 

I guess that's it... oh, it's hard for me to start conversations and I get anxious most of the time, but I would love to see some hello's hahaha
 
Young lady,

I've read some of your posts now, and you seem like a really cool person. I also like how you were open and honest and wrote more than just 2 lines about yourself in your introduction (I see a lot of really short intro posts ... why?). You seem to be strong beyond your years.

I admit I find it strange that you are comfortable with your loneliness ... that' the first time I've heard of someone being comfortable with it, but if that's true, wow, it's admirable ! It will, no doubt, shield you from the terrible suffering most of us undergo on a daily basis.

BTW, I once read an interesting article on solitude vs loneliness. Loneliness is almost always negative, while solitude tends to be considered positive. Are you sure you're lonely ? Perhaps, you're just experiencing (and enjoying) solitude ?

In summary, it is great to have you on this forum, and I look forward to hearing more about your story and interacting more with you here.

Welcome !
Somnambulist
 
Somnambulist said:
Young lady,

I've read some of your posts now, and you seem like a really cool person. I also like how you were open and honest and wrote more than just 2 lines about yourself in your introduction (I see a lot of really short intro posts ... why?). You seem to be strong beyond your years.

I admit I find it strange that you are comfortable with your loneliness ... that' the first time I've heard of someone being comfortable with it, but if that's true, wow, it's admirable ! It will, no doubt, shield you from the terrible suffering most of us undergo on a daily basis.

BTW, I once read an interesting article on solitude vs loneliness. Loneliness is almost always negative, while solitude tends to be considered positive. Are you sure you're lonely ? Perhaps, you're just experiencing (and enjoying) solitude ?

In summary, it is great to have you on this forum, and I look forward to hearing more about your story and interacting more with you here.

Welcome !
Somnambulist
Click to expand...

Hi! 
Thank you for your message, I also like your posts and find you very interesting! I don't know why people don'twrite more, I guess I wanted to open myself up a little and I'm also glad you wrote more than just "welcome" (not trying to offend those who did), it's easier to start a dialogue this way.

I admit I had to read some more about the solitude x loneliness subject to answer to you, in my opinion loneliness is an issue here... it made me feel depressed all my life and think less of myself for not being able to connect with others the way I would like to, but that and being an introvert led me to enjoy solitude and understand that I'm different, there's no shame in that.
I still experience feelings of loneliness, which is why I looked for a forum like this, but I can say that I probably feel more comfortable than others here with that situation because I learned to accept myself in a deeper way.

I read your thread about having siblings, and in my experience it has always been really good (I have an older brother), he was my partner in presenting a more progressive way to think to my family, and we've been friends our entire lives. But seeing my brother being an introvert that is completely socially adaptable and can make connections in a easier manner made me feel worse about myself. Also, he's the talented one, while I think I'm mostly a waist of space hahaha... its good to have companionship like I've had with him, it made it easier for me to make friends too, but it can also make you feel bad about yourself, even if all you have for your sibling is admiration. 


Hope to hear from you again and thank you for your post! :)
 
DarkSelene said:
Hi! 
Thank you for your message, I also like your posts and find you very interesting! I don't know why people don'twrite more, I guess I wanted to open myself up a little and I'm also glad you wrote more than just "welcome" (not trying to offend those who did), it's easier to start a dialogue this way.

I admit I had to read some more about the solitude x loneliness subject to answer to you, in my opinion loneliness is an issue here... it made me feel depressed all my life and think less of myself for not being able to connect with others the way I would like to, but that and being an introvert led me to enjoy solitude and understand that I'm different, there's no shame in that.
I still experience feelings of loneliness, which is why I looked for a forum like this, but I can say that I probably feel more comfortable than others here with that situation because I learned to accept myself in a deeper way.

I read your thread about having siblings, and in my experience it has always been really good (I have an older brother), he was my partner in presenting a more progressive way to think to my family, and we've been friends our entire lives. But seeing my brother being an introvert that is completely socially adaptable and can make connections in a easier manner made me feel worse about myself. Also, he's the talented one, while I think I'm mostly a waist of space hahaha... its good to have companionship like I've had with him, it made it easier for me to make friends too, but it can also make you feel bad about yourself, even if all you have for your sibling is admiration. 


Hope to hear from you again and thank you for your post! :)
Click to expand...

:)
It's great that you have a good bond with your brother. Make sure not to lose touch or burn that bridge. It will get harder as you and him get older and begin to have your own independent lives (fast forward from your age about 10-12 years, and that's me, so I kind of know).

You call yourself a waste of space ... that sounds like really low self-esteem ? What's the matter ?
 
Somnambulist said:
DarkSelene said:
Hi! 
Thank you for your message, I also like your posts and find you very interesting! I don't know why people don'twrite more, I guess I wanted to open myself up a little and I'm also glad you wrote more than just "welcome" (not trying to offend those who did), it's easier to start a dialogue this way.

I admit I had to read some more about the solitude x loneliness subject to answer to you, in my opinion loneliness is an issue here... it made me feel depressed all my life and think less of myself for not being able to connect with others the way I would like to, but that and being an introvert led me to enjoy solitude and understand that I'm different, there's no shame in that.
I still experience feelings of loneliness, which is why I looked for a forum like this, but I can say that I probably feel more comfortable than others here with that situation because I learned to accept myself in a deeper way.

I read your thread about having siblings, and in my experience it has always been really good (I have an older brother), he was my partner in presenting a more progressive way to think to my family, and we've been friends our entire lives. But seeing my brother being an introvert that is completely socially adaptable and can make connections in a easier manner made me feel worse about myself. Also, he's the talented one, while I think I'm mostly a waist of space hahaha... its good to have companionship like I've had with him, it made it easier for me to make friends too, but it can also make you feel bad about yourself, even if all you have for your sibling is admiration. 


Hope to hear from you again and thank you for your post! :)
Click to expand...

:)
It's great that you have a good bond with your brother. Make sure not to lose touch or burn that bridge. It will get harder as you and him get older and begin to have your own independent lives (fast forward from your age about 10-12 years, and that's me, so I kind of know).

You call yourself a waste of space ... that sounds like really low self-esteem ? What's the matter ?
Click to expand...

He does have his life, lives with girlfriend in another city and stuff... felt the need to make a grandpa joke, but would feel bad later. Hahahaha


Low self-esteem is a part of my personality by now haha
 
DarkSelene said:
Low self-esteem is a part of my personality by now haha
Click to expand...

Well, it's this world we live in, that does that to young people like yourself (and me, not too long ago). So much pressure to fit in, look good, be "normal", boys (in your case). How can you not have low self-esteem ??? We are set up to feel like honeysuckle our whole lives.

You'll probably eventually learn that the charade that youngsters feel the need to keep up to "fit in" is meaningless and futile. Sooner better than later. I know folks in their 40s and 50s who still haven't learned that !!!

You'll learn (if not yet) a lot about yourself ... what you have to offer others, your strengths and weaknesses (and that everyone has some), and your esteem will derive from those things, not from whether or not you fit in. You'll learn that every person on this Earth has something beautiful to offer others, and you'll know how to reach into their souls to find that one thing, and to put up with the flaws in others.

Sorry, I seem to love to lecture young people ! I'll shut up now.
 
Somnambulist said:
DarkSelene said:
Low self-esteem is a part of my personality by now haha
Click to expand...

Well, it's this world we live in, that does that to young people like yourself (and me, not too long ago). So much pressure to fit in, look good, be "normal", boys (in your case). How can you not have low self-esteem ??? We are set up to feel like honeysuckle our whole lives.

You'll probably eventually learn that the charade that youngsters feel the need to keep up to "fit in" is meaningless and futile. Sooner better than later. I know folks in their 40s and 50s who still haven't learned that !!!

You'll learn (if not yet) a lot about yourself ... what you have to offer others, your strengths and weaknesses (and that everyone has some), and your esteem will derive from those things, not from whether or not you fit in. You'll learn that every person on this Earth has something beautiful to offer others, and you'll know how to reach into their souls to find that one thing, and to put up with the flaws in others.

Sorry, I seem to love to lecture young people ! I'll shut up now.
Click to expand...

No no please go on. That was good to read. Lol
 
Somnambulist said:
DarkSelene said:
Low self-esteem is a part of my personality by now haha
Click to expand...

Well, it's this world we live in, that does that to young people like yourself (and me, not too long ago). So much pressure to fit in, look good, be "normal", boys (in your case). How can you not have low self-esteem ??? We are set up to feel like honeysuckle our whole lives.

You'll probably eventually learn that the charade that youngsters feel the need to keep up to "fit in" is meaningless and futile. Sooner better than later. I know folks in their 40s and 50s who still haven't learned that !!!

You'll learn (if not yet) a lot about yourself ... what you have to offer others, your strengths and weaknesses (and that everyone has some), and your esteem will derive from those things, not from whether or not you fit in. You'll learn that every person on this Earth has something beautiful to offer others, and you'll know how to reach into their souls to find that one thing, and to put up with the flaws in others.

Sorry, I seem to love to lecture young people ! I'll shut up now.
Click to expand...

I learned all of that, thankfully, already. I think the problem is more about not being able to find good things in myself, while I see beauty in everyone else. Don't really care about fitting in anymore, learned that I was different in high school and accepted it.
 
DarkSelene said:
Somnambulist said:
DarkSelene said:
Low self-esteem is a part of my personality by now haha
Click to expand...

Well, it's this world we live in, that does that to young people like yourself (and me, not too long ago). So much pressure to fit in, look good, be "normal", boys (in your case). How can you not have low self-esteem ??? We are set up to feel like honeysuckle our whole lives.

You'll probably eventually learn that the charade that youngsters feel the need to keep up to "fit in" is meaningless and futile. Sooner better than later. I know folks in their 40s and 50s who still haven't learned that !!!

You'll learn (if not yet) a lot about yourself ... what you have to offer others, your strengths and weaknesses (and that everyone has some), and your esteem will derive from those things, not from whether or not you fit in. You'll learn that every person on this Earth has something beautiful to offer others, and you'll know how to reach into their souls to find that one thing, and to put up with the flaws in others.

Sorry, I seem to love to lecture young people ! I'll shut up now.
Click to expand...

I learned all of that, thankfully, already. I think the problem is more about not being able to find good things in myself, while I see beauty in everyone else. Don't really care about fitting in anymore, learned that I was different in high school and accepted it.
Click to expand...

Hello again DarkSelene,

First of all i'd like to say that i'd wish I was able to think the way you do at that age, nothing but admiration for how far you've come in accepting yourself!

You talk about not seeing anything good in yourself, wel after reading a few of your posts (not to mention the picture... only i just did so scratch that ;)) i'd like to offer a different perspective, what others might see in you...

Your good at formulating your thoughts and putting them to paper (digital or otherwise) wich is indicative of a cultured/artistic mind.
You have a tremendous amount of self-knowlege and already know that changing yourself to "fit in" isn't the way forward, you have accepted yourself.

Although I have a limitid amount of source material to draw my conclusions from i'd describe you as a strong minded and strong willed person with well above average intellegence, you probably care more about the well being of those you care about then you do for yourself, and eventhough you don't see it in yourself (or have a hard time admitting it) your beautifull, and take a **** good selfie :)

I write all of this to hopefully increase your sence of self-worth, I myself have a similar look on the world and those around me, in a way I'm not finding myself worthy of attention, hearing how others see me is always a stark contrast with the way I see myself.

If i got anything wrong, please do not take offence to it, thats not my intention :)
 
MisterLonely said:
Hello again DarkSelene,

First of all i'd like to say that i'd wish I was able to think the way you do at that age, nothing but admiration for how far you've come in accepting yourself!

You talk about not seeing anything good in yourself, wel after reading a few of your posts (not to mention the picture... only i just did so scratch that ;)) i'd like to offer a different perspective, what others might see in you...

Your good at formulating your thoughts and putting them to paper (digital or otherwise) wich is indicative of a cultured/artistic mind.
You have a tremendous amount of self-knowlege and already know that changing yourself to "fit in" isn't the way forward, you have accepted yourself.

Although I have a limitid amount of source material to draw my conclusions from i'd describe you as a strong minded and strong willed person with well above average intellegence, you probably care more about the well being of those you care about then you do for yourself, and eventhough you don't see it in yourself (or have a hard time admitting it) your beautifull, and take a **** good selfie :)

I write all of this to hopefully increase your sence of self-worth, I myself have a similar look on the world and those around me, in a way I'm not finding myself worthy of attention, hearing how others see me is always a stark contrast with the way I see myself.

If i got anything wrong, please do not take offence to it, thats not my intention :)
Click to expand...

Wow, thank you so much!

That was really sweet of you, knowing someone is paying attention enough to write something would be enough to make me feel very  thankful, you had nothing but caring words for me and that's very special. I really appreciate it.

It really is very contrasting images, and after a while you can't help but wonder how come you can't see those things for yourself... I hope you feel better, you're obviously a very good person because you just made my morning!

Thank you for the selfie remark hahaha I can only try!
 
DarkSelene said:
MisterLonely said:
Hello again DarkSelene,

First of all i'd like to say that i'd wish I was able to think the way you do at that age, nothing but admiration for how far you've come in accepting yourself!

You talk about not seeing anything good in yourself, wel after reading a few of your posts (not to mention the picture... only i just did so scratch that ;)) i'd like to offer a different perspective, what others might see in you...

Your good at formulating your thoughts and putting them to paper (digital or otherwise) wich is indicative of a cultured/artistic mind.
You have a tremendous amount of self-knowlege and already know that changing yourself to "fit in" isn't the way forward, you have accepted yourself.

Although I have a limitid amount of source material to draw my conclusions from i'd describe you as a strong minded and strong willed person with well above average intellegence, you probably care more about the well being of those you care about then you do for yourself, and eventhough you don't see it in yourself (or have a hard time admitting it) your beautifull, and take a **** good selfie :)

I write all of this to hopefully increase your sence of self-worth, I myself have a similar look on the world and those around me, in a way I'm not finding myself worthy of attention, hearing how others see me is always a stark contrast with the way I see myself.

If i got anything wrong, please do not take offence to it, thats not my intention :)
Click to expand...

Wow, thank you so much!

That was really sweet of you, knowing someone is paying attention enough to write something would be enough to make me feel very  thankful, you had nothing but caring words for me and that's very special. I really appreciate it.

It really is very contrasting images, and after a while you can't help but wonder how come you can't see those things for yourself... I hope you feel better, you're obviously a very good person because you just made my morning!

Thank you for the selfie remark hahaha I can only try!
Click to expand...

If i make someones day every day I'm happy, when you see something good in someone else, try to evaluate that same quality for yourself, you'll find that the good you see in others might just apply to yourself too.
 

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