Heres my story (very briefly).
I grew up in a country town in Victoria, Australia. I had many friends growing up. So many that I would refuse to take calls or not answer my door to some of them.
My father was very controlling and paranoid, and did not allow me girlfriends. Romantic or otherwise.
Anyways I started using pot heavily all thru teenage years and into twenties.. I never held down a job I was in the dole for 20 years until recently. I think this was part why i lost all my childhood friends as they all went on to get careers and start family etc...
Ive been without loving relationships in my life for a long time now. I am 41 yo
I did however make connection with a woman who was/is very wrong for me. I had decided to leave her, but found out she was pregnant with me child. So I decided to stay with her as I would like to give my kids a better chance than what I got.
So we now have two very young children (under3yo)
Myself and mother do not get along, I feel trapped here. I have let everything go. I do not exercise, i do not eat properly, ive been in my pyjamas and not showered for the past three days. Im running on about two hours sleep per night. FFS! I live in hell and call it home.
Ive no friends left. I am angry, i am sad, and i feel utterly alone and like a complete loser.
Ive got no one to talk to , hence why i am on this forum.
I am so afraid that I am going to mess up my kids because they have a sad case for a father. this is deeply saddening to me.
If i didnt have kids I surely would kill myself.
sorry to lay this on y'all. I know every one got problems, right.
I grew up in a country town in Victoria, Australia. I had many friends growing up. So many that I would refuse to take calls or not answer my door to some of them.
My father was very controlling and paranoid, and did not allow me girlfriends. Romantic or otherwise.
Anyways I started using pot heavily all thru teenage years and into twenties.. I never held down a job I was in the dole for 20 years until recently. I think this was part why i lost all my childhood friends as they all went on to get careers and start family etc...
Ive been without loving relationships in my life for a long time now. I am 41 yo
I did however make connection with a woman who was/is very wrong for me. I had decided to leave her, but found out she was pregnant with me child. So I decided to stay with her as I would like to give my kids a better chance than what I got.
So we now have two very young children (under3yo)
Myself and mother do not get along, I feel trapped here. I have let everything go. I do not exercise, i do not eat properly, ive been in my pyjamas and not showered for the past three days. Im running on about two hours sleep per night. FFS! I live in hell and call it home.
Ive no friends left. I am angry, i am sad, and i feel utterly alone and like a complete loser.
Ive got no one to talk to , hence why i am on this forum.
I am so afraid that I am going to mess up my kids because they have a sad case for a father. this is deeply saddening to me.
If i didnt have kids I surely would kill myself.
sorry to lay this on y'all. I know every one got problems, right.