Do You Find it Difficult to Forgive Yourself for The Wrong You've Done In Life?

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Komodo

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In my time I've hurt and let down the ones closest to me and I really have a hard time forgiving myself. Even though the ones I hurt did forgive me. Do you find it difficult to forgive yourself for the wrong you've done?
 
we're almost always harder on ourselves than others. Sometimes we even blame ourselves for things that are clearly not our fault.


I find it almost impossible to forgive myself, could dwell on it forever. The opposite happens when others have wronged me, I can quickly let it go and never think about it again.
 
Mm, sometimes. I know objectively everyone does bad things occasionally, and I know that I didn't do what I did out of malice or evil. I can be hotheaded but I can't judge myself as a bad person. That's not to say I don't feel bad about what I've done over the years, or perhaps that it makes me "less deserving" than others with less baggage. But I feel that way about many things. That others could always have someone with less of a history than me if they're looking for a friendship or a relationship. Someone who doesn't have so many bad days, or more serious, darker times where they can't be so fun.
 
I forgive, when I have reasons. I try to never forget and try to remember my mistakes if I'd ever need to try to not do them again. They can be difficult to live with, just as many other things, but that won't make them unexisting or change what has happened. Make the best with what one got, I'd call it.
 
For me forgiving myself is the hardest part. I usually forgive others rather quickly.
 
It takes time, but yes. I can forgive myself for any wrongdoings. There's enough I can agonize over anyway ;). I just try and make sure never to repeat those gestures or to rectify any misdeeds when I can. It's better (and healthier) than constantly reminiscing over the past.
 
I do my best to forgive myself because it is the best thing to do but I have a hard time forgiving others.
 
I suppose I do because I still feel ashamed of my behaviour of many years ago.

However, as Maya Angelou said:

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."
 
Im slowly loosing my mind im so paranoid and hate myself for the things I've done, if I cant let it go how am I going to forgive myself???
 
I haven't done that many bad things in my life. Nothing too extreme. But I have hurt people I loved. And I do torment myself over it. Have not forgiven myself. But, in my defense those people hurt me badly too, and they don't seem to feel an ounce of remorse or hold themselves the slightest bit accountable for that. Only one person has ever apologized for hurting me, and I immediately forgave her. We can't ask to be forgiven if we're unwilling to forgive others. I think what's most important is I forgive others and let go of the anger, and try hard to never repeat my past mistakes. In time, maybe I'll learn to forgive myself too, even if the people I hurt won't forgive me.
 
I went through a period of depression and acted like an ass. Have i forgiven myself? For a long time, i beat myself up daily. However, over time, i have been able to put this behind me. I didn't do anything terrible, just acted like an ass and now feel foolish and stupid. But, it happens. We human beings are a messy lot.
 
Being from a family that is made of hearts of thorns, I've been around my share of destructive behaviour & have done plenty of it too. I'm not sure if we ever truly forgive ourselves, perhaps the memory remains to remind us where we went wrong before, however I've found that contemplating your reasons for doing your wrong doings can help to find that reason to forgive yourself & get the relief that comes with it, & then finally being able to move on from the hurt with a fresh & lighter perspective.
If you're dwelling on an issue's then it could be because you've yet to find that point of forgiveness.

There are some who can forgive without reason & for them that is enough to move on, it's not something I understand, so I tend to hold a grudge if something serious has happened.
 
Komodo said:
In my time I've hurt and let down the ones closest to me and I really have a hard time forgiving myself. Even though the ones I hurt did forgive me. Do you find it difficult to forgive yourself for the wrong you've done?


Somewhat.  There's definitely some things that I wished I hadn't said or done, and I still wish I hadn't.  I'm not a person who goes and looks for trouble, but I tend to fall into other wrong things and I haven't always been the best person I could be.  Sometimes, I haven't been very good at all.  I try to avoid saying and doing these things again, but at the same time I also find that it's best for me not to think about it too much because I'll just wish I could go back and change it, and unfortunately that's not possible.
 
I feel guilty about it only if I caused something bad to someone else because of it, and it was completely my fault. But even those feelings of mine play into self-improvement.

I feel I wouldn't be where I'm at now without making a lot of mistakes. Even if I had future powers to go back and tell past me; the lack of actually experiencing them, feeling them, etc, would render the lessons superficial.
 

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