How to let go and move on from family

My family is toxic as ever. They talk about me like Im trash, they doubt me, and drag me down to the ground. Its getting worse, my anxiety is getting worse and I cant take it no more. I have posted on this Forum nunerous of times  and its been supportive.

I just picked up a Second full time job so now i work 16, 17 hours a day. I will do this for the next 3 weeks and let my Bank account just build up. So that I can make my move to NYC by January or before. 

My family is saying Im gay because they never saw me with a boyfriend, my brother is very abusive mentally, he have something against me, he bring up the fact i was a tomboy and that must mean Im gay and is below my sisters. I feel scared and insecure around them. I hire my interest for life and seem to be abnormal bcsuse if I show any interest in life they will go off on me and make me feel like trash.

Im gearing up to move to NYC for a new life. But I feel even when I get there i still will feel stuck. How do i let this anxiety go?

You can always rely on family to treat and make you feel like honeysuckle
Why NYC ? ... I have visited and can only imagine it being very expensive place to live and not what I see as a warm place
My 2 cents

BadGuy said:

You can always rely on family to treat and make you feel like honeysuckle
Why NYC ? ... I have visited and can only imagine it being very expensive place to live and not what I see as a warm place
My 2 cents

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I chose NYC, because it's always been a dream.

TheAnxiousPain said:

BadGuy said:

You can always rely on family to treat and make you feel like honeysuckle
Why NYC ? ... I have visited and can only imagine it being very expensive place to live and not what I see as a warm place
My 2 cents

Click to expand...

I chose NYC, because it's always been a dream.

Click to expand...

Sounds like a plan...any worthwhile change always involves risk..try and limit them...  : )

TheAnxiousPain said:

BadGuy said:

You can always rely on family to treat and make you feel like honeysuckle
Why NYC ? ... I have visited and can only imagine it being very expensive place to live and not what I see as a warm place
My 2 cents

Click to expand...

I chose NYC, because it's always been a dream.

Click to expand...

have you ever been to NYC ?

It sounds like any kind of move away from your family will be a very good idea !

I have come to learn, through my own bitter experience, that "family" is really what you make of it ... and it has NOTHING to do with blood or DNA.

Family consists of the people you hold near and dear, be they friends, coworkers, or anyone else you treasure. Which is great because you can always bring more people into your family, and leave your blood relatives behind.

There is no magic pill for anxiety ... it really just depends on getting your life situation in order.

Move away, save yourself, and build a new life for yourself. You deserve it.

BadGuy said:

You can always rely on family to treat and make you feel like honeysuckle
Why NYC ? ... I have visited and can only imagine it being very expensive place to live and not what I see as a warm place
My 2 cents

Click to expand...

I personally loved NYC both times I went but I agree it is pretty expensive and you'd have to have some good mental fortitude to live there.

Do you have any firm plans such as having a job or college place lined up and a place to live when you get there? Making the move would be easier if you have something to go to.

Some anxiety is part of life. Learn to accept that. But, don't let it rule your life. Yes, it is OK to be anxious. But, do it anyway. I have done plenty of things in my life where i was scared or anxious, but i did it anyway. With time and life experience your anxieties will lessen. Part of letting go is simply facing reality. They are who they are. Accept who they are. Yes, you WISH they were different, but they are not. It simply is what it is. If you just face what is instead of what you wish it was, you can move ahead. It is what it is. Make your life decisions based on your objective experience.

I'm so sorry that you are experiencing this kind of thing from your family. I feel similar sometimes with mine but it's not a constant thing. Sometimes they are okay and we can have some laughs. I feel like the ones that can hurt you the deepest are your family and unfortunately it takes much for family to cut you deep. I live with mine and it's not always bad but I have those moments where my dad might make me feel like complete honeysuckle when he's telling me I will always depend on him and I can't do anything on my own. It hurts so bad because I almost believe him. I love my family but we trigger each other so quickly and it's quite toxic at times. I think they are all in pain and they don't realize how much pain they cause.

I remember my mother asked me if I was gay once when I was about 17 because I had never had a boyfriend or even talked about boys. She had no clue that I was afraid of boys and my self-esteem was so low I didn't believe anyone could possibly like me. I just stayed away from them. I just laughed and said noooo.

I still feel like crap around my family. There's a lot of small things they do where I think they have clue that it makes me feel like I'm in the way or just not worth anything. I know I have to get out of here too but I know that even when I do I will still have to deal with myself and all the issues I have. I'm still trying to figure things out and I hope you know you are not trash. I hope this isn't annoying but even though I haven't quite figured things out, I know that I have all the power to get myself out of this and I won't be stuck like this forever and neither will you. I know how annoying it can be for someone to say things like that when you aren't feeling good but I hope you know I feel for you and at least you have a job which will gives you some options. I wish you luck and I hope it gets better for you.

Oh and sorry I'm not sure how to make your anxiety go away. I'm still trying to learn how to deal with mine. Other people have good advice on here I think.

Oooh, NYC is a wonderful city! I've visited once (it was a life long dream), and I loved every day of my stay (which was way too short and I need to go back ASAP). Sure, it's expensive, but I believe that if we really want something, we'll find a way to make it work.

Best of luck to you for moving there, and hopefully living the life you want and deserve. I think it's very brave and cool of you to do so. If your family is treating you badly, then it's a good idea to put some distance between you and them.