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Do some people just go through life friendless? Unliked?
#11
My last two friends have been rubbish. One kept borrowing money till I said:"NO" and he has never seen again, Before that about 5 years ago I had a really close friend who turned out to be a convicted paedophile. I have never been lucky with friends and always spent my time own my own. I never was very good socially as a child and never went to any school discos or I was never allowed out to play. I lived in a rough housing estate In Glasgow and I guess my parents were worried I would turn out to be a drug dealer. So, socially I was a loaner and now I am in my 50's and things have not got better so yes I do believe that some people can go throughout life with no friends.
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#12
I had a gang of friends when i was a kid. We used to roam the neighborhood together. Playing outside, playing sports, swimming in the creek, etc. Then when i was 12, my brother was tragically killed. Looking back, I think that caused me to become a much more serious, somber person. That I was confronted with this issue of death at a critical point in my life and it essentially changed my personality to think on serious issues. And, i really didn't have a big circle of friends in HS but i was very involved in sports, etc. I think that i stopped having Fun. Maybe i didn't think i deserved to have fun. Or maybe i began to view fun as something frivolous. I didn't intend to send that vibe but looking back i think it is very possible that was a turning point. And, then i spent the next several decades focusing on getting my degree, working, getting married, house and kids, etc. All of which i am very happy with. But, i would love to just have a group of girlfriends to call up and chatter with.
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#13
Difficult circumstances made me withdraw into my shell and become friendless and unliked (well perhaps not altogether unliked - at least not by everybody).  

The circumstances were beyond my control and I did the best I could to survive.

Nowadays my situation is different but I reserve the right to retreat into my shell at any given time Wink
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#14
Yeah, I've been pretty friendless for most of my life, with the exception of the short time that I was in the Army. There I had so many short-lived friendships. I would have these really quick and intense friendships with women, and even ended up moving in with one of them later on and having a romantic relationship, but that ended badly.

Other than that, I don't work or have any outside activities. I thought of even going to like a support group just to be around others, feel a false sense of kinship. Meh.

At least you have a partner, though, right?
[Image: original.jpg]
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#15
Thread seems dead but my take on this is;

I see you are approaching 30. Out our age - I myself am 30 - it is incredibly difficult to make new friends. You will be trying to ''crack'' social circles where people have known each other since college/varsity or even since childhood. They have their connections, history and stories that you cannot relate to. I also think most people in their late 20s to early 30s are starting to become family-focused so there is little time to build new bonds with strange new people.

Example; Jim and John met at college, they've know each other since they were 18 and are best friends. They have their college stories, their 21st birthday tales, they were best men at one another's weddings, Jim's kids refer to John as their uncle as they are like family. You meet Jim when he is 28. There is no way you will ever connect with Jim the way John does. They may invite you out with them but you just won't ever have the connection they have. There will be times where you feel like you are the spare wheel.
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#16
(01-10-2017, 06:39 PM)TheStaggy Wrote: Thread seems dead but my take on this is;

I see you are approaching 30. Out our age - I myself am 30 - it is incredibly difficult to make new friends. You will be trying to ''crack'' social circles where people have known each other since college/varsity or even since childhood. They have their connections, history and stories that you cannot relate to. I also think most people in their late 20s to early 30s are starting to become family-focused so there is little time to build new bonds with strange new people.

Example; Jim and John met at college, they've know each other since they were 18 and are best friends. They have their college stories, their 21st birthday tales, they were best men at one another's weddings, Jim's kids refer to John as their uncle as they are like family. You meet Jim when he is 28. There is no way you will ever connect with Jim the way John does. They may invite you out with them but you just won't ever have the connection they have. There will be times where you feel like you are the spare wheel.

Yikes! As someone that doesn't have friends from a younger time, that was a painful read. The truth hurts and I do agree though. I wish to have fulfilling deep friendships but it seems most people either aren't interested in one or aren't interested in one with me.
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#17
Men are obsessed with women and women are obsessed with themselves. For the lucky few guys who realize there is more to life than sex, it can be hard to find intellectual connections because there are so few of us (I mean, just look at 90% of the posts on this site). Most guys I meet are hyper-competitive and turn everything into a power struggle because they aren't getting their fix. And good luck trying to be friends with a girl who doesn't want to have sex with you. Better just to chill with my cats.
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#18
(01-16-2017, 04:42 PM)Menorahman Wrote: Men are obsessed with women and women are obsessed with themselves. For the lucky few guys who realize there is more to life than sex, it can be hard to find intellectual connections because there are so few of us (I mean, just look at 90% of the posts on this site). Most guys I meet are hyper-competitive and turn everything into a power struggle because they aren't getting their fix. And good luck trying to be friends with a girl who doesn't want to have sex with you. Better just to chill with my cats.

This kind of gender bashing talk is discouraged here and not allowed. Don't do it again.
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#19
(01-16-2017, 11:13 PM)Sci-Fi Wrote:
(01-16-2017, 04:42 PM)Menorahman Wrote: Men are obsessed with women and women are obsessed with themselves. For the lucky few guys who realize there is more to life than sex, it can be hard to find intellectual connections because there are so few of us (I mean, just look at 90% of the posts on this site). Most guys I meet are hyper-competitive and turn everything into a power struggle because they aren't getting their fix. And good luck trying to be friends with a girl who doesn't want to have sex with you. Better just to chill with my cats.

This kind of gender bashing talk is discouraged here and not allowed.  Don't do it again.

Strangely the second thread I've looked at between the same two people.  Menorhaman, Sci-Fi is giving you good advice here, please take it.
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#20
(01-19-2017, 10:07 AM)PS79 Wrote:
(01-16-2017, 11:13 PM)Sci-Fi Wrote:
(01-16-2017, 04:42 PM)Menorahman Wrote: Men are obsessed with women and women are obsessed with themselves. For the lucky few guys who realize there is more to life than sex, it can be hard to find intellectual connections because there are so few of us (I mean, just look at 90% of the posts on this site). Most guys I meet are hyper-competitive and turn everything into a power struggle because they aren't getting their fix. And good luck trying to be friends with a girl who doesn't want to have sex with you. Better just to chill with my cats.

This kind of gender bashing talk is discouraged here and not allowed.  Don't do it again.

Strangely the second thread I've looked at between the same two people.  Menorhaman, Sci-Fi is giving you good advice here, please take it.

Sci fi is really on to him
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