Lonely but hopeful

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
L

lumi

Guest
Hi everyone,

Where to start? If someone would have told my teenage self that I would end up being this alone in my 30's I would've been very surprised. I used to be this outgoing person who spent her weekends hanging out with friends, keeping busy. These days all those friends are gone and the only people I meet are my family. Looking back it all happened gradually over the years - I took one step after the other toward this lonely place. 

I miss other people, I miss romance, I miss feeling like I belong somewhere. Someone said it only takes one other person to make you feel you belong in the world and right now I feel like I'm on an alien planet. I need some sort of connection with someone and I'm hoping to find it here. 

I'm happy I found this place.
 
I hope you find what you're looking for, Lumi. Welcome to the forum :D

This is a nice place, you'll meet good people here that are in the same situation as yourself, I hope we'll get to see you feeling better in no time.
 
Hello and welcome to the forum. :) I like your username, it means snow in Finnish. ^_^
 
Welcome Lumi,

I feel the same way, only I came at it from the other direction, in my teens and early 20's I would never have believed I would still be this lonely in my 30's...

I also miss human interaction and feeling like I belong, hope you'll find that feeling again.

See you around!

Mr.L
 
lumi said:
If someone would have told my teenage self that I would end up being this alone in my 30's I would've been very surprised. I used to be this outgoing person who spent her weekends hanging out with friends, keeping busy. These days all those friends are gone and the only people I meet are my family. Looking back it all happened gradually over the years - I took one step after the other toward this lonely place. 

I miss other people, I miss romance, I miss feeling like I belong somewhere. Someone said it only takes one other person to make you feel you belong in the world and right now I feel like I'm on an alien planet. I need some sort of connection with someone

Your post really struck me. I get a certain satisfaction and even a perverse sense of relief when I'm able to identify with another's (albeit miserable) experience, and your post did that for me, so thank you.

What can I say, other than that I also feel exactly the way you described. I am also in my 30's, and didn't see it coming to this point ... no friggin' way ! It seems surreal at times.

You say that you took one step after the other toward this lonely place. Are you sure it was all your fault ? I'm not so sure. Perhaps you didn't mean it that way. Maybe you just meant that you walked through life and it gradually got to this place somehow.

At any rate, I really enjoyed reading your post, and I hope you have better luck than I have, on this forum :)
 
MisterLonely said:
I feel the same way, only I came at it from the other direction, in my teens and early 20's I would never have believed I would still be this lonely in my 30's...

Curious - what did you mean by "I came at it from the other direction" ?
 
DarkSelene said:
I hope you find what you're looking for, Lumi. Welcome to the forum :D

This is a nice place, you'll meet good people here that are in the same situation as yourself, I hope we'll get to see you feeling better in no time.

Thank you so much!  :)
 
MisterLonely said:
Welcome Lumi,

I feel the same way, only I came at it from the other direction, in my teens and early 20's I would never have believed I would still be this lonely in my 30's...

I also miss human interaction and feeling like I belong, hope you'll find that feeling again.

See you around!

Mr.L

Thank you. Let's hope we'll both find that feeling, I think it's quite possible to turn things around no matter how long you've been lonely... somehow. This feels like a good place to start.
 
Somnambulist said:
lumi said:
If someone would have told my teenage self that I would end up being this alone in my 30's I would've been very surprised. I used to be this outgoing person who spent her weekends hanging out with friends, keeping busy. These days all those friends are gone and the only people I meet are my family. Looking back it all happened gradually over the years - I took one step after the other toward this lonely place. 

I miss other people, I miss romance, I miss feeling like I belong somewhere. Someone said it only takes one other person to make you feel you belong in the world and right now I feel like I'm on an alien planet. I need some sort of connection with someone

Your post really struck me. I get a certain satisfaction and even a perverse sense of relief when I'm able to identify with another's (albeit miserable) experience, and your post did that for me, so thank you.

What can I say, other than that I also feel exactly the way you described. I am also in my 30's, and didn't see it coming to this point ... no friggin' way ! It seems surreal at times.

You say that you took one step after the other toward this lonely place. Are you sure it was all your fault ? I'm not so sure. Perhaps you didn't mean it that way. Maybe you just meant that you walked through life and it gradually got to this place somehow.

At any rate, I really enjoyed reading your post, and I hope you have better luck than I have, on this forum :)

Thank you. Well, I guess it's always nice to know you're not alone in your loneliness, although you wouldn't wish that on someone else. 

How I ended up in this place was certainly due to several things, many out of my control (despite knowing that, I do sort of blame myself). I don't want to go back, though. I want to find different, more sincere friendships... even if it's just with one other person.  :)
 
Hello and welcome!

I also lost a lot of friends, some just left, some gradually slowed our interactions and after a while cut me off :/. You'll find a lot of people in similar situations here, I'm also new and so far people seem so friendly :). Hopefully you'll find what you're looking for!
 
niki272 said:
Hello and welcome!

I also lost a lot of friends, some just left, some gradually slowed our interactions and after a while cut me off :/. You'll find a lot of people in similar situations here, I'm also new and so far people seem so friendly :). Hopefully you'll find what you're looking for!

Hi niki!

Thank you for welcoming me. 

I'm sorry that happened to you as well.  :(

I'm looking forward to seeing you around!
 
Everyone needs somewhere or something to belong to, lumi.....the need to belong is up there with the need for food, water and shelter.  It sounds like the momentum of your life's trajectory faltered somehow in your twenties.  This online site can sometimes be a good place to get useful, peer-group counseling and it's even a its own little community one can belong to.  I'm glad you're here.
 
Somnambulist said:
MisterLonely said:
I feel the same way, only I came at it from the other direction, in my teens and early 20's I would never have believed I would still be this lonely in my 30's...

Curious - what did you mean by "I came at it from the other direction" ?

Sorry for the late reply, been a while since I browsed the "old" welcome threads :)

I ment that Lumi lost her friends over time to find herself lonely at this time never expecting that, I lost my friends all at once and have been lonely since my 7th, I back then would never have thought I'd still be lonely in my 30's...
 
MisterLonely said:
Somnambulist said:
MisterLonely said:
I feel the same way, only I came at it from the other direction, in my teens and early 20's I would never have believed I would still be this lonely in my 30's...

Curious - what did you mean by "I came at it from the other direction" ?

Sorry for the late reply, been a while since I browsed the "old" welcome threads :)

I ment that Lumi lost her friends over time to find herself lonely at this time never expecting that, I lost my friends all at once and have been lonely since my 7th, I back then would never have thought I'd still be lonely in my 30's...

Ah ok,, thanks. I remember reading a story about a family relocation that caused you to lose all friends at once.
 
Somnambulist said:
MisterLonely said:
Somnambulist said:
MisterLonely said:
I feel the same way, only I came at it from the other direction, in my teens and early 20's I would never have believed I would still be this lonely in my 30's...

Curious - what did you mean by "I came at it from the other direction" ?

Sorry for the late reply, been a while since I browsed the "old" welcome threads :)

I ment that Lumi lost her friends over time to find herself lonely at this time never expecting that, I lost my friends all at once and have been lonely since my 7th, I back then would never have thought I'd still be lonely in my 30's...

Ah ok,, thanks. I remember reading a story about a family relocation that caused you to lose all friends at once.

No relocation, changing schools to one a town over
 

Latest posts

Back
Top