Bullying Has Gotten Much More Serious! What Has Happened?!

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Komodo

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I was bullied when I was younger and it sucks. Among the many bullies one was a girl. I received a wedgie on a daily basis, beat down, the whole package, but I never wanted to kill myself over it. I fought my way out of it with my fists. I don't know what it is with young ones these days. Many have killed themselves or have killed the bully. I'm just trying to wrap my head around it all. Why the kids these days who are being bullied go to such an extreme is awful. Has society gotten more intense in it's violence? Are parents not raising their children properly? Not enough discipline from teachers in school? I'm interested to hear your thoughts.
 
No the internet and social media has just exposed it more.
 
Komodo said:
I was bullied when I was younger and it sucks. Among the many bullies one was a girl. I received a wedgie on a daily basis, beat down, the whole package, but I never wanted to kill myself over it. I fought my way out of it with my fists. I don't know what it is with young ones these days. Many have killed themselves or have killed the bully. I'm just trying to wrap my head around it all. Why the kids these days who are being bullied go to such an extreme is awful. Has society gotten more intense in it's violence? Are parents not raising their children properly? Not enough discipline from teachers in school? I'm interested to hear your 
If I had to theorize I would say it breaks down to communication. Lack of intervention on the part of the superiors in the schools today. Not observing the environment around them. I can't say for sure. I am not in a school setting and haven't been in many years. As far as why kids take to the extremes you mentioned I cannot wrap my head around it either. But something tells me if the things i said above were being done we would not hear such stories
 
I don't know your age but if your bullying period take place over 10 years ago then I have to say that those were different times, tsar was close to being right about this, more exposure could be why we hear these things more and more, but the true reason for the increase in violence and suicides is because bullying has "evolved" into something the victim can't escape.

I wasn't realy targeted for being bullied at school but, I did have some run ins with bullies every now and then, it sucked, I would get in a fight almost always an unfair fight and get hurt, but after school I could go home and be done with it... With cellphones and social media bullying nolonger ends after the schoolbell rings, it goes on into the evening, into the night and into the weekend, there is literally no escape anymore, no time to recover, no time to come to rest.

This drives people to their breakingpoint, that and the fact many today still see bullying as it was when they were kids, something that sucked but most could deal with, or atleast thats my opinion about it
 
In my opinion anyways.

Back in the middle 90s when I was high in school, bullying was swept under the rug because the teachers,principles etc were all protected under their unions so when people complain about being bullied they were always immune because it was the case of he said, she said. Or they would say something ridiculous like "oh man up and fight back, or your such a cry baby etc" Now a days technology is in anybody's hands so they can easily record in the moment of the altercation and put it on social media or send it to the local media and they would be exposed and the ones involved and the teachers or whoever would be on trial for not preventing from happening.

I can share many stories I seen because of bullying taking place and nothing was done about it.

Unfortunately, technology these days still can't stop the epidemic of bullying. Social media websites and other sites still condemn bullying with only maybe 10% action to be taken. 

I myself been a victim of bullying on here but yet the bullies always get a free pass because they are close to the ones who protect them. It's unfair but yet it happens.

Does it really have to take someone to hurt themselves physically before others might start to get the hint of others being hurt before putting their foot down to stop these people from hurting others?
 
Komodo said:
I was bullied when I was younger and it sucks. Among the many bullies one was a girl. I received a wedgie on a daily basis, beat down, the whole package, but I never wanted to kill myself over it. I fought my way out of it with my fists. I don't know what it is with young ones these days. Many have killed themselves or have killed the bully. I'm just trying to wrap my head around it all. Why the kids these days who are being bullied go to such an extreme is awful. Has society gotten more intense in it's violence? Are parents not raising their children properly? Not enough discipline from teachers in school? I'm interested to hear your thoughts.

It sounds like you found a way to deal with it yourself, but for many people it's just like living in fear.. and I'm sure some would describe it as living in a nightmare. Like they feel trapped and isolated, I can imagine that could mess you up mentally, some people can't cope with such things and snap; then end up doing something extreme like take their own life or someone elses.

I don't think society has got more 'intense' but I believe that they're not stupid and they know what they can get away with. And now there's a new age of online abuse which has just the same effect, which is actually easier since it's anonymous an all that.
 
soresoul said:
In my opinion anyways.

Back in the middle 90s when I was high in school, bullying was swept under the rug because the teachers,principles etc were all protected under their unions so when people complain about being bullied they were always immune because it was the case of he said, she said. Or they would say something ridiculous like "oh man up and fight back, or your such a cry baby etc" Now a days technology is in anybody's hands so they can easily record in the moment of the altercation and put it on social media or send it to the local media and they would be exposed and the ones involved and the teachers or whoever would be on trial for not preventing from happening.

I can share many stories I seen because of bullying taking place and nothing was done about it.

Unfortunately, technology these days still can't stop the epidemic of bullying. Social media websites and other sites still condemn bullying with only maybe 10% action to be taken. 

I myself been a victim of bullying on here but yet the bullies always get a free pass because they are close to the ones who protect them. It's unfair but yet it happens.

Does it really have to take someone to hurt themselves physically before others might start to get the hint of others being hurt before putting their foot down to stop these people from hurting others?

Two things, first I agree with the first part of your post.

Second, I don't know how many times we have to say this but NO ONE is protected here. When there is clear evidence of bullying as we see it it is acknowledge either publicly on the forum or in PM's.
 
I think the biggest problems are that parents aren't raising their kids properly, and that authorities don't really know what to do about bullying. I don't know if the situation has gotten better or worse.

When I was a kid, I remember most of the bullies came from well-off homes. I think the parents were either too busy working or involved in their own lives to notice and didn't know what their kids were really like, they did know what their kids were like but thought it was just a phase or otherwise chose to ignore it, or finally that the parents were bullies themselves and the apples weren't falling far from the tree. Most of the bullying I experienced was outside of school, so there really wasn't anyone to go to about it. The bullies always seemed to attack when there were no adults around to see what was going on.

Teachers in school never seemed to have an answer either. They would tell you to ignore it, which did nothing. And if you fought back, the teachers didn't seem interested in who started it - you were just as likely to get in trouble for fighting as the bully. This was another reason I didn't fight back, because I didn't feel like anyone would listen to my side of the story.

I was totally lost on how to handle the bullying and can empathize with people who are overwhelmed by it. What options do you have when it feels like no one wants to hear you out, or when the bully is bigger than you, or when you're ganged up on? Are you just supposed to resign yourself to just taking it day in and day out, to having your self-worth destroyed? I never felt like killing myself but man did I ever want to fight back. There were more of them than me though, I was alone and not very muscular or fast. I would have needed to arm myself somehow to even the odds. This situation probably plays out a lot. It can be so confusing when society tells you that you're being bullied because you're weak and it's your fault and the only thing to do is to "man up", yet if you do that and fight your bullies physically, you find yourself in as much trouble as the bully or even worse for it. It's a double standard and leaves you with no real options. As someone who was bullied myself, I don't have much sympathy for bullies who wind up getting hurt or killed by their former victims. I felt like the bullies bring it on themselves, thinking they are invincible and rightfully higher than their prey until they push them over the line. The problem is that once someone goes that far they are beyond help. People need to be taught that bullying isn't a right of passage or a necessary evil, and bullying is never right. At the same time more needs to be done to listen to people who are bullied instead of ignoring it or punishing them too.
 
There are definitely multiple factors. I don't think bullying has become significantly worse, but the tools have become more sophisticated (like social media) and therefore the consequences are more dire and widespread. Parental influence (or negligence) is indeed a major contributor and kids usually act out what they experienced in their own home. That's a cycle that has yet to be broken. Might be the reason why bullies seem prevalent in middle- or upper-class class families as SkaFish described. That's where subtle emotional abuse is more prominent than obvious physical abuse. You can get away easier with the former while having more of a long-term effect on the bullied person. And if the person breaks down, you can discard all responsibility since there is no "proof".

Now there is a line to draw in the sand though. I've seen things construed as bullying that are just absurd by any objective measurement. It begs the question whether there is any objective measurement. But if there isn't and a person is either that psychologically fragile or it becomes all about the subjective experience, everything can constitute abuse...and I don't want that either.
 
I was bullied a lot over my childhood. Unfortunately some of that bullying came from the teachers.

These days the internet has magnified bullying. In the old days, when you got home, you were safe in your room. You could play with toys, read a book, watch tv, find a neighbor to play with... etc.. these days people are addicted to always being online. The bullies can now attack kids even when the kids are locked away in their room.
 
For the record, I don't understand how cyberbullying is so prevalent. I would not allow someone who bullied me on my social media, and if someone started to bully me I'd delete, block, and report them.
 
Komodo said:
Why the kids these days who are being bullied go to such an extreme is awful. Has society gotten more intense in it's violence? Are parents not raising their children properly? Not enough discipline from teachers in school? I'm interested to hear your thoughts.

I'll tell you what the real problem is. Whenever violence occurs, people rush to a judgment that the perpetrator was "evil" or a "psycho" and that the world is better off without him. That's it, case closed ! You know what I call that ? A coverup.

So, the real problems never get fixed. And then, big surprise when it happens again !

Or, if they're not as lazy but still pretty **** lazy, then let's blame guns. Gun control !

They don't want to examine the real issues underlying such violence - peer pressure, bullying, social media, ignorance about such issues, inadequate protection/counseling of affected kids, and social media (yes, social media deserves to be in that list twice). They don't want to examine those issues for a simple reason - it takes more work ! Calling someone "evil" and covering up the case is far easier !

Another easy scapegoat - "mental illness". Oh yeah, the kid missed a dose of Prozac. NO !!! DO THE ******* WORK !!! FIND OUT WHY HE WAS DEPRESSED !!! What's even worse is that they waste a ton of investigative resources on their bullshit theories ... "There was a history of mental illness in the Eric Harris family." It is far easier to obtain a few medical records than to find out why kids are being treated like honeysuckle at the school.

I don't condone violence (and I am the least violent person on Earth) but we need to realize that people who shoot up school yards are ***people***, first and foremost ... with complex problems that need to be understood. Don't use one event in the perp's life to judge him as "evil" ... don't be lazy, do the hard work ... dig into his past, find out what went on in the school, and do something about it.

It's not easy to fix the life of an outcast child, I agree. But, at least give him counseling and assure him that he's not defective. And punish the honeysuckle out of bullies. Bullies are a leading cause of youth suicide.

Columbine is a classic case of what I just described. The fact that 12 people died doesn't bother me nearly as much as the ensuing coverup.
 
TheSkaFish said:
For the record, I don't understand how cyberbullying is so prevalent.  I would not allow someone who bullied me on my social media, and if someone started to bully me I'd delete, block, and report them.

It's not just directed at ourown social media accounts, cyberbullies spread lies about you even if your not there to seeit yourself, they'll take video's and photo's of their physical bullying and post them online, in whatsapp groups, facenote, pokebook and snapcrap or whatever, they'llbullie your friends into leaving you, they know if someone you know is a friend and willmake it their job to alienate that person from you, the person will probably give in to peer presure or become victim themselves.

Cyberbullying is about destroying someones social status and social circles even when they aren't at school.
 
MisterLonely said:
TheSkaFish said:
For the record, I don't understand how cyberbullying is so prevalent.  I would not allow someone who bullied me on my social media, and if someone started to bully me I'd delete, block, and report them.

It's not just directed at ourown social media accounts, cyberbullies spread lies about you even if your not there to seeit yourself, they'll take video's and photo's of their physical bullying and post them online, in whatsapp groups, facenote, pokebook and snapcrap or whatever, they'llbullie your friends into leaving you, they know if someone you know is a friend and willmake it their job to alienate that person from you, the person will probably give in to peer presure or become victim themselves.

Cyberbullying is about destroying someones social status and social circles even when they aren't at school.

Hey Ska, there's a movie called CyberBully.  (It's a Lifetime movie....) It gives a pretty good representation of cyberbullying and what it does to a person.  It's on Netflix, if you have that.

Aside from everything else MisterLonely said, you also have to realize that this is generally in high school.  The mindset is different there for most people.
 
Rodent said:
Parental influence (or negligence) is indeed a major contributor and kids usually act out what they experienced in their own home. That's a cycle that has yet to be broken. Might be the reason why bullies seem prevalent in middle- or upper-class class families as SkaFish described.

Yeah. That makes me think either the parents don't really know what's going on, refuse to acknowledge that their child is a bully, or that the parents themselves believe that their money and status means they are "better" than people who have less of those things, so their kids take up those beliefs as well.

MisterLonely said:
It's not just directed at ourown social media accounts, cyberbullies spread lies about you even if your not there to seeit yourself, they'll take video's and photo's of their physical bullying and post them online, in whatsapp groups, facenote, pokebook and snapcrap or whatever, they'llbullie your friends into leaving you, they know if someone you know is a friend and willmake it their job to alienate that person from you, the person will probably give in to peer presure or become victim themselves.

Cyberbullying is about destroying someones social status and social circles even when they aren't at school.

Wow, that's much worse than I thought it was. I thought it was just allowing the wrong people on your social media, because younger people seem to add lots of people to their accounts. I could definitely see why the rise of cyberbullying could make it seem like bullying has gotten worse.

TheRealCallie said:
Hey Ska, there's a movie called CyberBully.  (It's a Lifetime movie....) It gives a pretty good representation of cyberbullying and what it does to a person.  It's on Netflix, if you have that.

Aside from everything else MisterLonely said, you also have to realize that this is generally in high school.  The mindset is different there for most people.

No, I don't have NetFlix but the whole thing, the cyberbullying sounds like a new low in being mean. It does also seem like this was something that started after my time, so that's probably why I don't understand it. I was of one of the last high school graduating classes before cell phones and social media became common.
 
TheSkaFish said:
Rodent said:
Parental influence (or negligence) is indeed a major contributor and kids usually act out what they experienced in their own home. That's a cycle that has yet to be broken. Might be the reason why bullies seem prevalent in middle- or upper-class class families as SkaFish described.

Yeah.  That makes me think either the parents don't really know what's going on, refuse to acknowledge that their child is a bully, or that the parents themselves believe that their money and status means they are "better" than people who have less of those things, so their kids take up those beliefs as well.  

Of course they don't know (most of them).  Most people who are bullied don't go to anyone with the problem because they're afraid nothing will happen or they won't think it's true or that it'll just make it worse.
 
TheRealCallie said:
TheSkaFish said:
Rodent said:
Parental influence (or negligence) is indeed a major contributor and kids usually act out what they experienced in their own home. That's a cycle that has yet to be broken. Might be the reason why bullies seem prevalent in middle- or upper-class class families as SkaFish described.

Yeah.  That makes me think either the parents don't really know what's going on, refuse to acknowledge that their child is a bully, or that the parents themselves believe that their money and status means they are "better" than people who have less of those things, so their kids take up those beliefs as well.  

Of course they don't know (most of them).  Most people who are bullied don't go to anyone with the problem because they're afraid nothing will happen or they won't think it's true or that it'll just make it worse.

I think some don't know, but I think that others are in denial.  After a certain point, I find it hard to believe their parents didn't know that their children were bullies.  They had to know and not want to believe it, or they just didn't care because they believed the same things.  I mean, some people were very vulgar, cruel, and really elitist.  I can't believe they were able to put on a completely different face at home and their parents had no idea.  

Another reason I didn't fight my bullies was because I thought I'd have to fight them over and over again, every day, indefinitely because I couldn't imagine they would just drop it after being beaten.  I hoped it would just go away.  I didn't want to be at war all the time.  I just wanted to live.
 
TheSkaFish said:
TheRealCallie said:
TheSkaFish said:
Rodent said:
Parental influence (or negligence) is indeed a major contributor and kids usually act out what they experienced in their own home. That's a cycle that has yet to be broken. Might be the reason why bullies seem prevalent in middle- or upper-class class families as SkaFish described.

Yeah.  That makes me think either the parents don't really know what's going on, refuse to acknowledge that their child is a bully, or that the parents themselves believe that their money and status means they are "better" than people who have less of those things, so their kids take up those beliefs as well.  

Of course they don't know (most of them).  Most people who are bullied don't go to anyone with the problem because they're afraid nothing will happen or they won't think it's true or that it'll just make it worse.

I think some don't know, but I think that others are in denial.  After a certain point, I find it hard to believe their parents didn't know that their children were bullies.  They had to know and not want to believe it, or they just didn't care because they believed the same things.  I mean, some people were very vulgar, cruel, and really elitist.  I can't believe they were able to put on a completely different face at home and their parents had no idea.  

Another reason I didn't fight my bullies was because I thought I'd have to fight them over and over again, every day, indefinitely because I couldn't imagine they would just drop it after being beaten.  I hoped it would just go away.  I didn't want to be at war all the time.  I just wanted to live.

Some kids are like that yes, but when they are around their families, they are totally different.  Well, some of them are.  I've seen it happen before, it isn't that hard to do.  I think some of them don't want to do it, but they feel they have to in order to be "cool."  Peer pressure and all that.
 
TheSkaFish said:
I think the biggest problems are that parents aren't raising their kids properly, and that authorities don't really know what to do about bullying.

There's been a lot of very good responses in this thread but I have to say this one is the root of the bullying problem. Either parents don't know what the kid is doing because they are pulling in sixty hour work weeks or are away on business a lot or they don't care what the kid does.
 
TheRealCallie said:
Some kids are like that yes, but when they are around their families, they are totally different.  Well, some of them are.  I've seen it happen before, it isn't that hard to do.  I think some of them don't want to do it, but they feel they have to in order to be "cool."  Peer pressure and all that.

I could see that too.




Though I have mentioned it from time to time, I have managed to get over my childhood bullying by realizing that it was more a reflection on them than it was on me and that just because they may have said things, doesn't mean I have to believe it.  "Haters gonna hate", as they say.  I am over the incident itself, now I am trying to get out of the pattern of seeing myself as a victim.  I read in an article that sometimes when we are bullied as kids, we subconsciously adjust ourselves to the victim role long after the bullies are gone, we just get in a pattern of seeing ourselves that way.  I'm currently trying to get out of this cycle of low self-image.

I hope the rest of you who were bullied can get past it too, and not let it label you for the rest of your lives.  We're all more than what somebody who doesn't matter might have said some years ago.  Have any of the rest of you managed to push past old bullying?  How did you do it?
 

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