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Meaw

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This is a thread with questions for all those who are not male or female. Seemed the site was lacking one, I pointed it out and was told to make one.

So here we go then.
 
Thanks for creating this. There aren't a lot of opportunities to pose questions to this...well, I'll just call it a demographic for the sake of simplicity. I actually don't have any (romantic) relationship-specific questions, but I suppose general ones are fine too to get this thing going...

When did you realize that you were neither (male nor female) and how did you determine it with an acceptable level of certainty for yourself?
Is it something you disclose to new people early on - beyond the internet even? I recall that you mentioned a pronoun preference in your introduction.
 
I am not the greatest one when it comes to that thing called time XD
However, I'd say I started thinking like that without having the words for it around the age of 8 plus minus a couple years. I started thinking I was neither gradually from then til I first heard ppl use "hen" (neutral pronoun in sweden) but it did not feel correct (maybe because it's kinda already existing in english) and I decided I wanted to have "it" as my pronoun only one or two years ago, eventhough the reasoning behind already had been there a long time.

My reasoning is no more difficult than this: I am not at all comfortable with defining as a female. I am not at all comfortable with defining as a male. Both would just be both things I did not want to be, therefore, I am neither. And it just felt so correct and so clear.

I usually tell people pretty quickly, if not for me, then to open up their thought processes for more diverse acceptances. (That might not even be grammatically correct, but w/e :p ) Maybe if they would not be ready to accept it immediately, they might get used to it and see it as more okay later on.

I hope this answered your questions :)
 
Interesting that you started sensing it so early on, even before puberty. That's when I would expect it to hit people pretty hard. I'm aware of the neutral pronoun in Sweden, but I agree it's sort of awkward...getting called a chicken, comes to mind. Using existing words is certainly better than forcing artificial creations into the collective vocabulary. Glad to hear that you are straightforward about this too, but also not overbearing to people who don't know about this concept. So thank you, that did answer my questions.
 
Because it's been pointed out to me by a few people that I kindoff made a duplicate, I'll post my question here, eventhough the question was mainly just meant to be a topic starter :p

If you're not man or woman, and you are in a relationship, do you see yourself as straight, gay, neither, both or something entirely different all together?
 
Sorry for not answering earlier, but better late than never, heh.

Short answer: I have no clue.

I suppose I wouldn't be heterosexual, since I wouldn't like the other gender. I suppose I wouldn't be homosexual, since I wouldn't like the same gender (unless they'd also see themselves as neither or both genders - I suppose for a "neither" happening to like a "both", it'd be heterosexuality and vice versa, though these are just my ramblings). Closest I would be to a proper answer would be "to be liking someone" or to "currently like someone who is *insert gender of person*".
Still haven't figured out the terminology, and frankly, I ain't sure I have to either. To feel that way for someone doesn't require any categorization.
Up to this point, I have liked four ones who have happened to be boys, so a better way to explain it in my case might be "Eh, I fancy guys" even if I wouldn't go as far as saying it'd be impossible to fancy girls. Just hasn't happened yet.

Hope this works as an answer :p
 
Meaw said:
Still haven't figured out the terminology, and frankly, I ain't sure I have to either. To feel that way for someone doesn't require any categorization.

I like this way of thinking.

When you've opened up to people about this, in your experience, how do they react? Do most of them find it confusing, are they more accepting or do they ask a lot of questions? Do they find it hard to understand and stop talking to you?
 
Most common reaction is along the lines of "Okay." and after that some times getting the right pronoun from them, sometimes not.

There are a few ones who react along the lines of "this is easier for me personally" and stick with something I don't approve of, but my hopes is they'll one day meet someone else who is in my situation, and then have "warmed up" to the idea a bit.
 
Not sure - maybe some got multiple personalities too? I suppose they have their reasons, however, but since I think I'm only one, I go by "it". I use to say I'm okay with most words except for he and she. That's still more lenient than most people, who only choose one of those. Some food for thoughts :D
 
If your native language didn't have a neutral pronoun, would you let people call you by he/she or would you come up with something that makes you more comfortable?
 
It's an interesting question as to whether it's reasonable for trans persons to demand others use made-up pronouns.
 
I'd try to find some compromise. E.g. if they'd be ok with an english word, a new one, using the name instead... I haven't been in that situation yet - my language adopted the slightly stupid word "hen" for it, which already has a meaning in english. Most other people are ones I speak to in english. Also, Selene, there are people that doesn't give a flying about how people feel about pronouns and use incorrect one/s no matter what one would say, which sadly slightly invalidates the question. With those I simply stop any argumenting and misgender them back.

Technically, all words are once forced upon us, and we learn new ones all the time. Smartphone? Not existing in my youth. We get new slang words every year. Languages evolve. Still, I wouldn't want to force anyone to use a word if it would be just for me - which is the main reason I increased the list of pronouns I'm okay with from "it" which I feel is the right pronoun for me to basically everything except for he, she and something meaning both of them.
 

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