Trying to divorce so yeah, I'm back here.

*I've been drinking just a little (only have 3 cans, one 5.6% alcohols, 2 8% alcohols, no other alcohols of mine in the house, but I'm a little sensitive so hopefully I'm not too off track in this post)*

To keep the story short, basically my wife and I was trying to reconcile and I later found out that she was still visiting her boyfriend 'as a friend' the whole time. She had cheated on me with that guy earlier in the year. The day I found out, I didn't tell her that I wanted to divorce right away. But it kinda built up and now I am just ******* done with her. I'm trying to tell her that I do not want to get back together at all and she is just not getting the message. So that mean I'll have to file for the divorce on my own and hopefully have the city waive my filing fees of $200 since I'm struggling financially quite a bit. Sigh....

I really really miss sex...

Unfortunately this means that I'll have to face the dilemma that is being a single deaf guy. I don't do pickup lines since I can't even be sure if I'm speaking it properly. I don't know how to communicate easily without having to switch to some text based communication or hopefully the other party can signs. Deaf people have the unfortunate tendency of dating within their small social circle simply due to communication difficulties. I can speaks pretty well but I can't hear at all, so the other party always feels like they are doing all of the work to accommodate me. This means that most deaf ladies in the deaf communities as far as the next state or two over are usually already in a relationship.

I'm soooooo tempted to just say fresia it all and just escape. My possessions are few enough that I can literally just move into my van and just drive away. Hell, I've been sleeping on a portable cot and I have all of my camping supplies in the van (in case of emergencies) so I can live out of the van right now if not for the lowering temp of the winter. I've honestly been inspired by the idea of vandwelling and have been working on reducing my possessions enough to be able to do that easily. At least just for the summer when I'm off work so I can camp far more easily.

I really just want to be ******* done with my marriage so I can finally move on and TRY for something legitimate. I really don't know what to do here right now. I'm just done with it all.

Hey man,

I don't know what to say other than I have so much respect for you. I cannot imagine going through life without my hearing, because I cannot live without music ... I just cannot. To me, losing my ears would be paramount to losing the ability to breathe or losing my legs. And, on top of that, to have a relationship with another, with that handicap ! I have awesome respect for you.

About your marriage situation, there is never an obvious right or wrong answer, and I don't even know the whole story. But, it sounds like your wife would be a good person to get away from. Sometimes, it really is best to start with a clean(er) slate.

I also understand your troubles with finances and living. I've got 14 cents in the bank and I'm about to be homeless myself, very soon. Since I can't afford to renew my license, and haven't paid for insurance in months, I can't even live in my car. And, it has begun to get cold here too. I just really understand, if nothing else.

Much respect,
~S

Good luck. Ive also been tempted by vandwelling. Ive had a bit of a preview of the experience with my current job. Ended up buying a box truck to convert.

Get the heck out of that marriage. You deserve better. Even for a little while you should try vandwelling just to get a fresh start while doing something youve been wanting to do. Itll be great.

Better single than with someone who violates your trust and doesn't care about you. I think you're making the right call in getting out that marriage.

Sorry that it didn't work out though. That really sucks.

A liar and a cheat? You're better off without her.

A little unrelated to the main matter of the topic, but I just wanted to let you know that I really look up to people with hearing difficulties. I've spent a lot of time with someone who is hard of hearing, and honestly I feel that hearing impaired people are more humble than most! I strongly feel that even though they may not have the ability to hear, that in no way belittles them. I've always really wanted to learn sign language... maybe one day!

Somnambulist said:

Hey man,

I don't know what to say other than I have so much respect for you. I cannot imagine going through life without my hearing, because I cannot live without music ... I just cannot. To me, losing my ears would be paramount to losing the ability to breathe or losing my legs. And, on top of that, to have a relationship with another, with that handicap ! I have awesome respect for you.

About your marriage situation, there is never an obvious right or wrong answer, and I don't even know the whole story. But, it sounds like your wife would be a good person to get away from. Sometimes, it really is best to start with a clean(er) slate.

I also understand your troubles with finances and living. I've got 14 cents in the bank and I'm about to be homeless myself, very soon. Since I can't afford to renew my license, and haven't paid for insurance in months, I can't even live in my car. And, it has begun to get cold here too. I just really understand, if nothing else.

Much respect,
~S

Click to expand...

Eh, being deaf ain't all bad. It doesn't interfere with my enjoyment of life in general (In fact, I actually enjoy Celtic and classical music when I'm wearing my hearing aid, heh). But it is a huge challenge in term of socialization and jobs.

I'm slowly building up more and more friendship around town to try to avoid getting too depressed. It's a challenge but the people here seems nice enough. Just have to avoid going to 'screens' like my phone, tablet, kindle, or laptop (which is also why I'm trying to get rid of my PC and small HDTV) or I'm going to become an hermit at home.

kamya said:

Good luck. Ive also been tempted by vandwelling. Ive had a bit of a preview of the experience with my current job. Ended up buying a box truck to convert.

Get the heck out of that marriage. You deserve better. Even for a little while you should try vandwelling just to get a fresh start while doing something youve been wanting to do. Itll be great.

Click to expand...

Yeah, I'm intending on vandwelling for at least a month or two in the summer when my apartment lease ends. Before then, I'll be going camping with the van in the occassional weekends during spring and early summer. I'm working on getting out still, it's just the fees to file the divorce that's inhibiting me. Especially with the cost of repairs for the van that I may need to do on my own.

Tuathaniel said:

Better single than with someone who violates your trust and doesn't care about you. I think you're making the right call in getting out that marriage.

Sorry that it didn't work out though. That really sucks.

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Yep, I thinks so too. At least I'm having some success in not becoming a hermit and trying to develop more of a social circle outside of this town. I'm hoping to someday move to Missoula, MT from where I am so I can have access to more deaf people around my age.

bleed_the_freak said:

A liar and a cheat? You're better off without her.

Click to expand...

her-> :club: <-me
At least that's how I feel sometimes. Never did anything physical or even verbally in case you are worried.

dokidoki said:

A little unrelated to the main matter of the topic, but I just wanted to let you know that I really look up to people with hearing difficulties. I've spent a lot of time with someone who is hard of hearing, and honestly I feel that hearing impaired people are more humble than most! I strongly feel that even though they may not have the ability to hear, that in no way belittles them. I've always really wanted to learn sign language... maybe one day!

Click to expand...

Nothing keeping you from learning sign language right now! Online videos and even video chats can be made to practice. Every single states have a state and city level deaf organizations that can help inform you of any deaf based social events for you to attend and practice signing with. At the very least, it would give you some unique experience to have even if it doesn't work out.

lostear said:

dokidoki said:

A little unrelated to the main matter of the topic, but I just wanted to let you know that I really look up to people with hearing difficulties. I've spent a lot of time with someone who is hard of hearing, and honestly I feel that hearing impaired people are more humble than most! I strongly feel that even though they may not have the ability to hear, that in no way belittles them. I've always really wanted to learn sign language... maybe one day!

Click to expand...

Nothing keeping you from learning sign language right now! Online videos and even video chats can be made to practice. Every single states have a state and city level deaf organizations that can help inform you of any deaf based social events for you to attend and practice signing with. At the very least, it would give you some unique experience to have even if it doesn't work out.

Click to expand...

Yea I should try look for videos online! But like learning any language, it's always a million times easier to learn it if you have someone to practise with, but in my case that isn't entirely possible!

And that's a really good call, I'll try look to contact government deaf organisation around and see if they can give me any suggestions, thanks