11-30-2016, 03:56 AM
(11-29-2016, 08:23 AM)Tuathaniel Wrote: I understand where you're coming from. I really do. I hate myself too. So much. I have a mental list of every mistake I've ever made, and the consequences of those mistakes that I have to live with, and I hate, despise and loathe myself every day because of them. (Latest mistake: After nearly a decade of avoiding the dentist and not taking proper care of my teeth (too depressed to care), I had to say goodbye to my 5th tooth from the front today. Half of it broke off last night, and the remains couldn't be saved. Now you can just about see the hole if I smile. I'll be hating myself for a long time over this one.)
Also, I got my first boyfriend last year, almost 20 years behind most "normal" (what is normal anyway? Who gets to make those rules?) people. However, it's been worth the wait. Finally finding someone who understands me (most of the time, when I'm not being too depressed and loopy) and loves me just as I am, does indeed help, even if it came late in life. He tries to convince me every day that I shouldn't hate myself, that I don't deserve it. Perhaps one day I'll believe him. But that is not this day.
Thanks for the reply. I do the same thing, while I have mistakes that I regret, most of the time it's social faux pas that I obsess over. As for the dentist thing, I would worry too much, I myself have avoided the dentist because I hate going and I couldn't afford to go. In the end I had to spend over $1000 to get my teeth fixed. Just curious you said you go your first boyfriend how old are you if you don't mind me asking?
After 7 years I decided to go into counselling again. I figure maybe this time it will work.