Long time no talk. I really think I need to start visiting this forum more frequently. I've been dealing with depression due to loneliness. Long story short, I do not have many friends. I have a small circle of about 6 people I talk to on the phone, three of which are family members. One of the persons I called my best friend - I cut off a few weeks ago. I just realized I was being used and his negative attitude was rubbing off on me. I am starting to become very upset as I see I am always the one getting in touch with people first or calling and checking on them. I am starting to wonder why I even have a phone because only about 10 people have my number and of the 10, only 3 call. When I was working, I made it a goal to make some new friends. I made friends with 2 of my coworkers that I trusted, one of which I was close to. However, I don't hear from either one of them now that we don't work together anymore and both of them have my number. When I do call, the conversations are always short.
I get that people have their own lives. I get that. I know no one has to be my friend. I'm not trying to sound whiny. All I'm saying is it would be nice for someone to check on me or just have a small conversation with me. I keep a lot of things to myself because I truly have no one I can talk to. I deleted my Facebook account for these same reasons and the fact it was expediting my depression. I really sometimes feel like an outcast and that people won't miss me until I'm gone. All I have is my daughter but she is only 3 so I cannot tell her the things I feel. Why are real, true friends so hard to come by nowadays? I am tired of putting effort into my friendships and not getting any effort in return.
I get that people have their own lives. I get that. I know no one has to be my friend. I'm not trying to sound whiny. All I'm saying is it would be nice for someone to check on me or just have a small conversation with me. I keep a lot of things to myself because I truly have no one I can talk to. I deleted my Facebook account for these same reasons and the fact it was expediting my depression. I really sometimes feel like an outcast and that people won't miss me until I'm gone. All I have is my daughter but she is only 3 so I cannot tell her the things I feel. Why are real, true friends so hard to come by nowadays? I am tired of putting effort into my friendships and not getting any effort in return.