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Abusers and people who pick on you without reason
#1
Have you ever asked yourself why would somebody pick on you without any particular reason given?
Why from time to time i get both online and in real life(in real life not as much when i was a child and better) , but when you get these people from facebook or whatever online you joined and they start arguing without any reason given from me , i wonder why this is happening? It seems like nobody is giving those idiots attention and they try to get to other people and make them angry ...
I don't know what's into this teenagers they either get bullied and because of that they try to do it to another people to feel the way they were... It's so annoying and i hate these kind of "people" !!
How do you deal with people like that (either in school or online or whatever you meet them ( even in real person) )?
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#2
(12-03-2016, 09:24 PM)owmygod Wrote: Have you ever asked yourself why would somebody pick on you without any particular reason given?
Why from time to time i get both online and in real life(in real life not as much when i was a child and better) , but when you get these people from facebook or whatever online you joined and they start arguing without any reason given from me , i wonder why this is happening? It seems like nobody is giving those idiots attention and they try to get to other people and make them angry ...
I don't know what's into this teenagers they either get bullied and because of that they try to do it to another people to feel the way they were... It's so annoying and i hate these kind of "people" !!
How do you deal with people like that (either in school or online or whatever you meet them ( even in real person) )?

There are people like that everywhere.

The best way to deal with them is to not lose your cool. And, don't pay them any attention. Don't add fuel to their fire. Just ignore them.

They are trying to solicit a specific reaction from you (you getting hurt/mad). Don't give them the pleasure/satisfaction.
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#3
(12-03-2016, 09:24 PM)owmygod Wrote: Have you ever asked yourself why would somebody pick on you without any particular reason given?

I'm going to switch up this questions and ask you if you have ever asked yourself why it needs a reason? Why does it matter what they do? Regardless of why they do it, they do it. Most likely to try to bring you down to their level, so why give them what they want? Figure out a way to stop letting it bother you.

(12-03-2016, 09:24 PM)owmygod Wrote: Why from time to time i get both online and in real life(in real life not as much when i was a child and better) , but when you get these people from facebook or whatever online you joined and they start arguing without any reason given from me , i wonder why this is happening?
What are they arguing about? Are you walking in on an argument or one that recently ended?

(12-03-2016, 09:24 PM)owmygod Wrote: How do you deal with people like that (either in school or online or whatever you meet them ( even in real person) )?

Pick your battles, especially in real life. Ask yourself if it's worth engaging in. Just walk away if it's not. If it would cause more problems to just walk away, make an excuse and walk away, just get yourself out of the situation.
As for online, if it happens frequently at certain places, stop going to those places.
And just in general, look at what they are saying to you, decide whether it really impacts your life. Are they strangers? Do they really know you? Does their opinion really count for anything if they don't?
DISCLAIMER:
The views I express are my own opinion. More often than not, if I say "you," it is generalized and not to a person specifically.

My advice is based on my own experiences and those of my friends and family. I may not have a degree saying I read a bunch of books/passed tests, but I have been through a lot and helped others through a lot. Experience is often a better qualification than having read books/passed tests.

I speak in a blunt manner. I mean no disrespect and I'm not being rude. This is just the way I am, please do not take offense.

Take what you like and leave the rest.


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#4
(12-03-2016, 09:24 PM)owmygod Wrote: Have you ever asked yourself why would somebody pick on you without any particular reason given?
Why from time to time i get both online and in real life(in real life not as much when i was a child and better) , but when you get these people from facebook or whatever online you joined and they start arguing without any reason given from me , i wonder why this is happening? It seems like nobody is giving those idiots attention and they try to get to other people and make them angry ...
I don't know what's into this teenagers they either get bullied and because of that they try to do it to another people to feel the way they were... It's so annoying and i hate these kind of "people" !!
How do you deal with people like that (either in school or online or whatever you meet them ( even in real person) )?

I've told this story before so I'll be brief with it. There was one instance waaaaayy back in high school where there was this kid who I did not know, never met him before, he didn't know me, didn't even know his name, weren't in the same grade, no association whatsoever. He stuck gum in my hair, and when he was asked by the VP why he did it, he didn't know. It was established while in the VP's office we didn't know each other and when asked again he said he just didn't like me. It baffled the VP seeing as how he didn't even know me to not like me. So yeah, some people can be just utter jackasses and have no reason to be, they just are. I've met people whose sole purpose in life is to just be the biggest ass they can, to start shit just because they are bored and want to, to belittle others for the fun of it, and then just sit back and laugh at everyone else. Can't stand those type of bottom dwellers.
_______________________________________________________________________
Sickos never scare me. Least they're committed.  
Never Give Up!  Never Surrender!

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#5
Currently, all of my bullying comes from my mom. I'm always called a bitch and when she just wants to be a cold hearted asshole, she pokes fun of my mental disabilities by calling me a mentally ill bitch or saying I need to be medicated because I'm crazy. In reality, my mom is narcissistic and makes me look like the bad guy. Currently, I'm in a situation where I cannot exactly leave because I'm not working at the moment and my daughter's father and I are not on good terms. I'm really stuck between a rock and a hard place. The only thing I can do is ignore her but that is easier said than done.
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#6
(12-04-2016, 11:06 AM)Gemmy Wrote: Currently, all of my bullying comes from my mom. I'm always called a bitch and when she just wants to be a cold hearted asshole, she pokes fun of my mental disabilities by calling me a mentally ill bitch or saying I need to be medicated because I'm crazy. In reality, my mom is narcissistic and makes me look like the bad guy. Currently, I'm in a situation where I cannot exactly leave because I'm not working at the moment and my daughter's father and I are not on good terms. I'm really stuck between a rock and a hard place. The only thing I can do is ignore her but that is easier said than done.

I'm very sorry you're dealing with that , i hope you find a solution and get this problem fixed , and yeah it's not easy ... i know that feeling very well..But my topic isn't about that , why dont you make a new one and post your problems there im sure people will give you good advices Smile

btw guys and girls thank you for sharing opinions and giving me the hope that i can deal with that , Smile)
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#7
I do think there is always a reason even if they don't say it. People are in a bad mood or just view people of a particular group as "enemies", such as in politics. Or they feel they have to be right and will argue with anyone who disagrees. I don't necessarily trust people because of this and the fact that many only care that I'm even alive once they see that I'm useful to them and have something they want.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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#8
(12-06-2016, 05:51 AM)Tealeaf Wrote: I do think there is always a reason even if they don't say it. People are in a bad mood or just view people of a particular group as "enemies", such as in politics. Or they feel they have to be right and will argue with anyone who disagrees. I don't necessarily trust people because of this and the fact that many only care that I'm even alive once they see that I'm useful to them and have something they want.

Yes some poor innocent gets the brunt of it just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I sometimes think of an analogy where a (fictitious) company boss who has had a serious setback takes it out on someone just because he got asked to repeat something. I sometimes witness things a bit like that, but I understand that's not on the level of an abuser.
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#9
Personally, I dont think there should be a single reason for it... and honestly, there isn't. There isn't a reason for hostility- only an explanation. If that makes sense.. but alas, this mb exists because of the very 'sick,sad, world' out there. I find that I am becoming more apathetic to the idea of bullying. Age has nothing to do with it, it is not exclusively high school only. But at later years, I am finally accepting that me being jaded might be the only way to save face and snap out of a lot of fake relationships/endeavors in my life.

Most of the time, harassment like this is ego and bias. Lack there of ego or more than enough. As for why this sh*t always happens? Idk, god works in mysterious ways and then some more bs. :/

Therealcallie and somnambuilst had it right. Its a provocation, be level headed and address it firmly or not at all. You may have a loud reaction but their emotional reasoning behind what their doing is right in line with the reaction they love to gain. Don't mimic their instability by providing that reaction. However, in my experience- the best way to get a bully to back off is giving them exactly the pitiful reaction they want. I'm a weakling? I'm fragile, inferior? Done- I dont hear from whoever for weeks if not indefinitely. If i address them and bark back, its like drawing a battle line- if i dont react, I basically just signed up to get permanently harassed/stalked. To each their own though.... :[

Oh and I also heard a great thing when someone talked about bullying towards lgbtq, he said "become a part of the joke"... It actually works.
"you're a slut, you're never gonna get a good guy"
"you're right, I should reform and change and try my luck with the better guys, I need someone softer maybe"
You're really pretty, lets date."
"haha no, i need to go slutting"
Maybe thats a shite example, but its 4am here and I'm waning.
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#10
yeah i know what you're talking about... i've met those annoying kind of people.
I'm so relieved when i don't meet them anymore.
In school they were groups of 3-4 or more people like that and it was so damn annoying , that's why they like each other because they're all the same kind of nasty people ...
You're right , the ignoring doesn't help for anything , it actually makes them feel like you're easy target and you're helpless so they can continue bullying on your back. The best way is to find out how and stand up for yourself , so you would not fall into the victim role , which is quite undeserving for many of the people. Thanks for the answer Smile
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