Enjoying life on your own

MisterLonely · Dec 4, 2016

So there are allot of things I like to do, simple things, easy things, relaxing things, biking, hiking, walking, talking, swimming, going for a movie, out to eat, drinks you name it and i'm up for it realy

But I tend not to enjoy any of those things on my own, at the movies (been a long time!), I just feel odd on my own, the experience isn't any better just because it's a big screen if there is noone there to enjoy the movie with I might aswell watch it at home on the little screen, going biking in summertime is nice, but again with noone around to share that time with why am I realy doing it?, the endorfin rush lasts no more than a few hours, and after that I just feel tired and empty... Getting something to drink at a café when alone just isn't enjoyable either, I usually just buy my drink and drink it before moving on. Going out to diner on my own...I haven't even tried that and probably never will....

I'm wondering if any of you found some way of enjoying yourself out in the world on you own, what do you do to make an experience out of something like that when there is noone with you, or are you like me, incapable of enjoyment without others?

I've for instance never been to a festival or concert before, I would like to but I don't think I'll enjoy myself going alone, same for things like themeparks, always loved rollercoasters and there are probably a million more examples out there!

AmytheTemperamental · Dec 4, 2016

I put 100% of my enjoyment into the service itself. I don't know how. I guess I just don't worry about other people being around me. They icky anyways.

MisterLonely · Dec 4, 2016

AmytheTemperamental said:
I put 100% of my enjoyment into the service itself. I don't know how. I guess I just don't worry about other people being around me. They icky anyways.

That's an impressive skill to have

, I guess I can do that with some of the activities myself, being on my own never stopped me from going out walking, skating or riding my bike, it has however stopped me from seeing movies and going to festivals and concerts.

Come to think of it I left out a pretty big one, going on holiday's, still allot left I want to see and do out there

Celt · Dec 4, 2016

Doing everything on my own. Why break the habit of a lifetime? But no I wouldn't go to the cinema alone. I might think about it if I bought the seat next to me, I could pretend someone was about to join me? No that's just sad.

dokidoki · Dec 4, 2016

Celt said:
I might think about it if I bought the seat next to me, I could pretend someone was about to join me?

Not half a bad idea.

EmilyFoxSeaton · Dec 4, 2016

Oh dear I have gone to the movies alone for years. Since I was a teen. I don't think it is sad. Frankly one of the motivations is that I find the dark aloneness helps me enjoy the movie. But having someone with me they always want to talk or take some of my popcorn which takes me out of the experience. I absolutely haven't been embarrassed to go alone. It is my preferred thing. Actually going to the movies seems to be implicitly an alone thing. I suppose a few years back when people went there to make out or something I could see it but I don't think people do anymore. So basically you are going to an event with someone and then, not talking to them for 2 hours. Weird.

Thank god someone posted this thread because I have decided I don't want to be with people (in general) anymore. I do find that perhaps being with people is just not for me. That isn't to say that I don't enjoy the occasional quality relationship but for the most part, I am not finding them anymore. Perhaps morals have changed or perhaps I have changed but at the moment humans aren't bringing anything to the game for me anymore.

I wish there was someplace that would offer good tips on this way of living as I feel it is a way of living.

The thing that bothers me is "travel". For a long time I did travel alone but then I got semi harassed and now the magic is gone. I wonder if there was ever any magic because I just felt like I was having fun but wasn't really. Plus it seems like there is so much to do and it is so expensive.

Somnambulist · Dec 4, 2016

I think about the only thing I enjoy doing alone, other than using the bathroom, is lifting weights. Music in, focus in, weights up.

Pretty much everything else, I'd rather do with company.

There have been times when I've attended concerts alone. Before the concert begins, I look around, see that I'm the only loner there, and I cry and cry for minutes, till the show starts. Not pleasant.

I have to say, though, on second thought ... if I'm in a deeply reflective/contemplative mood, I'm quite happy being left alone. I'll go hiking somewhere, with my music in, and enjoy the solitude.

But, solitude is rare, loneliness prevails.

Restless soul · Dec 4, 2016

Somnambulist said:
I think about the only thing I enjoy doing alone, other than using the bathroom, is lifting weights. Music in, focus in, weights up.

Pretty much everything else, I'd rather do with company.

There have been times when I've attended concerts alone. Before the concert begins, I look around, see that I'm the only loner there, and I cry and cry for minutes, till the show starts. Not pleasant.

Same here. The preferred company of course

MisterLonely · Dec 4, 2016

EmilyFoxSeaton said:
Oh dear I have gone to the movies alone for years. Since I was a teen. I don't think it is sad. Frankly one of the motivations is that I find the dark aloneness helps me enjoy the movie. But having someone with me they always want to talk or take some of my popcorn which takes me out of the experience. I absolutely haven't been embarrassed to go alone. It is my preferred thing. Actually going to the movies seems to be implicitly an alone thing. I suppose a few years back when people went there to make out or something I could see it but I don't think people do anymore. So basically you are going to an event with someone and then, not talking to them for 2 hours. Weird.

Thank god someone posted this thread because I have decided I don't want to be with people (in general) anymore. I do find that perhaps being with people is just not for me. That isn't to say that I don't enjoy the occasional quality relationship but for the most part, I am not finding them anymore. Perhaps morals have changed or perhaps I have changed but at the moment humans aren't bringing anything to the game for me anymore.

I wish there was someplace that would offer good tips on this way of living as I feel it is a way of living.

The thing that bothers me is "travel". For a long time I did travel alone but then I got semi harassed and now the magic is gone. I wonder if there was ever any magic because I just felt like I was having fun but wasn't really. Plus it seems like there is so much to do and it is so expensive.

I don't think it's sad or weird at all, just wished I myself could enjoy more things on my own because it's part of my problem.. You see I don't go out much at all because I don't enjoy myself doing things solitary, but if i don't go out I'll never meet anyone either.

Maybe you could find a travel buddy (don't ask me how though

), another solitary person you can stand to be around for a few weeks while travelling.

Maoke320 · Dec 4, 2016

I've been trying to think of new things for myself.

My list is probably just the usual stuff like watching/listening to tv/film, youtube, going for walks, cycling (in summer), i sometimes go on trips like museum visits, gaming, playing musical instruments.

I go to the cinema alone, there's often a few other people alone there too, probably as I only go during the daytime. I'd hate it if it were packed out.

One thing i'd like to try and do is gaming with voice chat, obviously not on your own but I see it as a way to practice socialising. The other main thing I want to do is go on some holidays, if i don't go alone I could never go so just need to get on with it.

MisterLonely · Dec 4, 2016

Maoke320 said:
I've been trying to think of new things for myself.

My list is probably just the usual stuff like watching/listening to tv/film, youtube, going for walks, cycling (in summer), i sometimes go on trips like museum visits, gaming.

I go to the cinema alone, there's often a few other people alone there too, probably as I only go during the daytime. I'd hate it if it were packed out.

One thing i'd like to try and do is gaming with voice chat, obviously not on your own but I see it as a way to practice socialising. The other main thing I want to do is go on some holidays, if i don't go alone I could never go so just need to get on with it.

Voice chat is also something I find difficult, I have a colleague I share the office with and we talk freely and openly, but when we game (we do that sometimes, not often though), I always find it weird talking...

Probably the best adviceis the lastline of your reply "if i don't go alone I could never go so just need to get on with it".

Thanks for your input!

MisterLonely · Dec 4, 2016

Somnambulist said:
I think about the only thing I enjoy doing alone, other than using the bathroom, is lifting weights. Music in, focus in, weights up.

Pretty much everything else, I'd rather do with company.

There have been times when I've attended concerts alone. Before the concert begins, I look around, see that I'm the only loner there, and I cry and cry for minutes, till the show starts. Not pleasant.

I have to say, though, on second thought ... if I'm in a deeply reflective/contemplative mood, I'm quite happy being left alone. I'll go hiking somewhere, with my music in, and enjoy the solitude.

But, solitude is rare, loneliness prevails.

Going for a hike to think things over, or the opposite, clear your mind is something I doenjoy on my own.

I was going to make a joke how going to the bathroom is kinda like weight lifting.... I'd be lying though

, cause I always sit to pee

EmilyFoxSeaton · Dec 4, 2016

I enjoy doing DIY projects around the house. This summer I painted an old Tv cart and it looks uber sheik. I also purchased and old rug (plain color) today that I hope to paint with stencil and make look very expensive. It could be something good with others but I find I am more creative if I do it on my own.

Somnambulist · Dec 4, 2016

MisterLonely said:
Somnambulist said:

I think about the only thing I enjoy doing alone, other than using the bathroom, is lifting weights. Music in, focus in, weights up.

Pretty much everything else, I'd rather do with company.

There have been times when I've attended concerts alone. Before the concert begins, I look around, see that I'm the only loner there, and I cry and cry for minutes, till the show starts. Not pleasant.

I have to say, though, on second thought ... if I'm in a deeply reflective/contemplative mood, I'm quite happy being left alone. I'll go hiking somewhere, with my music in, and enjoy the solitude.

But, solitude is rare, loneliness prevails.

Click to expand...

Going for a hike to think things over, or the opposite, clear your mind is something I doenjoy on my own.

I was going to make a joke how going to the bathroom is kinda like weight lifting.... I'd be lying though , cause I always sit to pee

LMAO ! Me too ... sit

(Ssssssssh ... don't tell the other guys)

MisterLonely · Dec 4, 2016

EmilyFoxSeaton said:
I enjoy doing DIY projects around the house. This summer I painted an old Tv cart and it looks uber sheik. I also purchased and old rug (plain color) today that I hope to paint with stencil and make look very expensive. It could be something good with others but I find I am more creative if I do it on my own.

That's impressive!, I'm not very creative though not when it comes to visuals

DarkSelene · Dec 5, 2016

I wouldn't go to a theme park or a concert alone either, but I would also ponder if it's worth it with someone else because I really don't like crowds.

I've been enjoying being alone the most for a long time now. Going on walks, visiting places I've never been to that are close to me, spending the afternoon on the beach... those are the kind of things I usually do. I reaaaally like going to the movies alone, especially in week days when there's not a lot of people there and I can put my feet up and disconnect myself from reality for about two hours. I feel like those moments alone are precious to my well being. I'm away from the digital word for a second and the fact that I'm outside my comfort zone (my house hehe) makes me be more aware of the world around me. Also, I've been getting more creative while doing those things.

I'd say that it's harder for you because you already live alone... but if you do go out and try to see the moment not as a saddening experience where you just feel more alone but as you thinking of your well being and enjoyment, it'll be easier. Also, it's good to free yourself from the routine sometimes. Oh, and by the way, a lot of times that "company" you want end up ruining the entire experience so, unless you find someone that works really well with you, don't think it'll all be dandy either just because someone's there.

MisterLonely · Dec 5, 2016

DarkSelene said:
I wouldn't go to a theme park or a concert alone either, but I would also ponder if it's worth it with someone else because I really don't like crowds.

I've been enjoying being alone the most for a long time now. Going on walks, visiting places I've never been to that are close to me, spending the afternoon on the beach... those are the kind of things I usually do. I reaaaally like going to the movies alone, especially in week days when there's not a lot of people there and I can put my feet up and disconnect myself from reality for about two hours. I feel like those moments alone are precious to my well being. I'm away from the digital word for a second and the fact that I'm outside my comfort zone (my house hehe) makes me be more aware of the world around me. Also, I've been getting more creative while doing those things.

I'd say that it's harder for you because you already live alone... but if you do go out and try to see the moment not as a saddening experience where you just feel more alone but as you thinking of your well being and enjoyment, it'll be easier. Also, it's good to free yourself from the routine sometimes. Oh, and by the way, a lot of times that "company" you want end up ruining the entire experience so, unless you find someone that works really well with you, don't think it'll all be dandy either just because someone's there.

I think your absolutly right that it is because I live alone, contrary to someone who lives with family and might feel the need to escape their influence and nosey/annoying behavior, I mainly go out to escape the solitude of being home on my own... When I was still living with my mom and sisters, I also had to escape them from time to time, it's just human nature to need some alonetime every now and then.

Tealeaf · Dec 5, 2016

I try to at least treat myself if I'm out. A coffee shop alone isn't the same as a coffee shop with a date. But there's a bakery by my workplace with amazing coffee and donuts, so instead of just sitting somewhere at work I might treat myself to a $2-3 coffee and donut and just listen to music for a while. They have some really unusual stuff and staff who'll help you combine meat/bread because they have such a long list of it.

I still read books, which is actually very hard with other people. I try not to forget what it was like to be 7 and so fascinated that I couldn't put one down all day, because I wasn't so worried about money, or what people would think, or how many friends I could be off making.

9006 · Dec 6, 2016

I enjoy doing most things on my own. I can sit having a coffee on my own no problem, it's nice to have peace and just be in your own bubble for a bit, but that's not to say I don't like company. But sometimes I feel like I have to be the "entertainer" depending on who it is.

AlexD · Dec 6, 2016

I've always viewed solitude as a very independent state of mind. The ability to be happy when alone doesn't allow others to take advantage of you if they perceive you as a needy person. Loneliness, on the other hand, prevents some people from reaching out to the proper person when it is necessary to reach out. It can be a grey area. You need some type of a support system no matter what.

Enjoying life on your own

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