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Being the only non-parent around parents
#11
(12-10-2016, 11:09 AM)Sci-Fi Wrote: You've got time, just be glad you're not in your forties yet, unmarried, single, and no children.

Oh christ, that would be a tragedy of epic proportions, sheesh. Rolleyes
En la boca cerrada no entran moscas.
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#12
(12-10-2016, 11:09 AM)Sci-Fi Wrote: You've got time, just be glad you're not in your forties yet, unmarried, single, and no children.

HEY HEY HEY 
How does that song go ...... two out of three aint bad  Rolleyes
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#13
^ Meatloaf knows the score.
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#14
(12-09-2016, 02:46 PM)Tealeaf Wrote: I started at a new workplace recently and one thing I noticed is that, except for two men, all my coworkers are women. Another thing I noticed: they're all parents. They talk about their children, their children's problems, keep in touch on social media, etc.

Meanwhile I'm getting on in my 20's, unmarried, single, no children. Trying to rebuild my life after depression. I feel almost like a child myself next to them.

Is it seen as strange to be this way? I wonder sometimes what people think of me.


Hi Tealeaf,
When I was trying to rebuild my life after depression - I felt the same as you. My colleagues were talking about their relationships, kids, and would make comments "Oh when you're older you'll know" and would chit-chat together about life experiences that I couldn't relate to.
I felt like a child next to them as well.

Now that I do have a child, I don't necessarily feel more "mature" and I don't look down or different at those that are childless. 

I do think that your perception is likely wrong...you're just at a different stage that everyone else has been at one point in their lives.
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#15
(12-09-2016, 02:46 PM)Tealeaf Wrote: I started at a new workplace recently and one thing I noticed is that, except for two men, all my coworkers are women. Another thing I noticed: they're all parents. They talk about their children, their children's problems, keep in touch on social media, etc.

Meanwhile I'm getting on in my 20's, unmarried, single, no children. Trying to rebuild my life after depression. I feel almost like a child myself next to them.

Is it seen as strange to be this way? I wonder sometimes what people think of me.

Consider this:  if we continue to compare ourselves with other people who seem to have more, we will never be satisfied with what we do have.
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#16
I think people have kids way to young, and you're only in your mid 20's so I wouldn't worry about it. Of course it can feel like you're missing out on something if everyone else is talking about it but you're doing yourself a favor by waiting until you're in a better place in life. If it's something that feels akward in social situations you can simply just turn the focus back on everyone else, it's inevitable that someone will ask you about it at some point so having a short response prepared will cut out any nervous responses or anything.

I'm a guy in my early 30's and I don't have any kids, I work with other guys who do and my supervisor always talked about his to me, showing me videos of him playing the drums, etc. I could tell he really loved his son but I couldn't relate to eveything he was saying or share any stories since of course I don't have kids, I always found that a bit akward but I mostly shift the focus back onto them or something.
[Image: 2vj1q3q.jpg]
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#17
Only one with no kids, house, car, career, social life, etc.
I'm actually David Blane.
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#18
I'm not sure if it's seen as being strange but there are some people from the same strata as your co-workers who will treat you as some kind of inferior because you're unmarried, unattached and have no children.

My eldest sister is like this. When a relative of ours was on their deathbed earlier this year, she spent the whole time, about five days, telling anyone who would listen that she was taking time away from her husband, her children and her job to be there. I tried to be kind one day and commiserate with her about the whole ordeal cutting into her life and she rounded on me and accused me of being incapable of understanding because I 'only had to look out for myself'. She seemed to forget that I had spent the better part of a year at that point looking after this relative while she generally shirked her responsibilities and did very little to help, but that was irrelevant to her because I didn't have a family or a career of my own and she did.

There are many married people with families who are friendly and unassuming people but in any crowd like that you'll always get a few who will pre-judge you based on your current life circumstances. I find it's generally better to shrug it off and move on with your day than give them any more than a moment's pause.
And blood-black nothingness began to spin
A system of cells interlinked within
Cells interlinked within cells interlinked
Within one stem. And dreadfully distinct
Against the dark, a tall white fountain played.
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#19
(12-13-2016, 06:19 AM)lifestream Wrote: I'm not sure if it's seen as being strange but there are some people from the same strata as your co-workers who will treat you as some kind of inferior because you're unmarried, unattached and have no children.  

My eldest sister is like this.  When a relative of ours was on their deathbed earlier this year, she spent the whole time, about five days, telling anyone who would listen that she was taking time away from her husband, her children and her job to be there.  I tried to be kind one day and commiserate with her about the whole ordeal cutting into her life and she rounded on me and accused me of being incapable of understanding because I 'only had to look out for myself'.  She seemed to forget that I had spent the better part of a year at that point looking after this relative while she generally shirked her responsibilities and did very little to help, but that was irrelevant to her because I didn't have a family or a career of my own and she did.

There are many married people with families who are friendly and unassuming people but in any crowd like that you'll always get a few who will pre-judge you based on your current life circumstances.  I find it's generally better to shrug it off and move on with your day than give them any more than a moment's pause.

+1
En la boca cerrada no entran moscas.
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#20
(12-09-2016, 02:46 PM)Tealeaf Wrote: I started at a new workplace recently and one thing I noticed is that, except for two men, all my coworkers are women. Another thing I noticed: they're all parents. They talk about their children, their children's problems, keep in touch on social media, etc.

Meanwhile I'm getting on in my 20's, unmarried, single, no children. Trying to rebuild my life after depression. I feel almost like a child myself next to them.

Is it seen as strange to be this way? I wonder sometimes what people think of me.

"What people think of me is none of my business" is a phrase that has helped me not worry so much when it comes to the environment in which I don't fit. I have no children and I have always had people at any job or in my businesses who just can't stop talking about their kids. I listen to an extent but then I personally set limits and do my job or my business. I have felt best in work situations where people simply focus on their work and not so much on family discussions. As a young person, you will be surrounded by many parents, but you can't let this bother you. Many jobs will have people who are older than you, and very likely to have their own families. Now again, why they have time to discuss those at work, that's something I can't tell you because I don't know your job Smile.  Use your job to learn and to grow. Set goals that you find important for your self-development. Your goals don't have to match their goals, as soon as you have good team work required to do the job well. The likeminded people are usually found outside of the job, once you know your life goals. You can still benefit by learning from your colleagues, but understand that most people have no interests outside of their immediate necessities. This is what makes their conversations limited.
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