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Has anyone ever had bullies at work?
#31
Well I'm not an enabler to bullies anymore and I'm kind of getting it that you're nobody's victim anymore....maybe we could be friends?

Cool
Be here now.
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#32
Someone being mean to someone isn't a decent basis for a lawsuit. People are too sue-happy because we can seemingly sue anyone for anything now. Someone being mean and hostile isn't really a good reason, and people should really stop thinking the world has to be nice to them.
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#33
NM
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#34
(12-16-2016, 10:33 AM)LonelySutton Wrote:
(12-16-2016, 08:08 AM)constant stranger Wrote: he's either a forgiving kind of guy or doesn't blame me for staying out of the line of fire or he's a good actor.   We agreed the two perpetrators were real a**holes and that we're both lucky to be gone from that job.  His amiable conduct was a humbling experience for me.

Sorry to say --- >>>> "acting". To this day there are a lot of people I hate for not helping me when I needed it and will drop a dime on who think I am their BFF.   Recently I discovered that my bully's wife is sick and I asked about her condition to a friend and she told me *not good*  and I smiled and said "good" I hope she dies soon and painfully. I know my friend almost passed out. Not thinking I was capable of such evil. But I am. The truth is as a bullying victim, if you ever have a problem with anyone else than the "narrative" will be that you weren't bullied, but that there was something wrong with you. So for the rest of my days I have to be jolly on the outside, and a Dexterish psycho, on in the inside. 

Anyway though sounds like you were in a different situation than me and it probably was a smaller amount of time and that probably made the person who was bullied more forgiving.

Hoping that someone's spouse, who had nothing to do with it, dies painfully out of desire to see a former colleague suffer...

In addition to being evil it indicates a personality disorder. I think I can speak for most in saying that if a friend said something like that, I'd really want to get away from that person.
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#35
You can speak for most other people can you? That's quite a skill you've got there......
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#36
I think we all say things to friends that we wouldn't want repeated to strangers.
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#37
(12-16-2016, 03:06 PM)ardour Wrote:
(12-16-2016, 10:33 AM)LonelySutton Wrote:
(12-16-2016, 08:08 AM)constant stranger Wrote: he's either a forgiving kind of guy or doesn't blame me for staying out of the line of fire or he's a good actor.   We agreed the two perpetrators were real a**holes and that we're both lucky to be gone from that job.  His amiable conduct was a humbling experience for me.

Sorry to say --- >>>> "acting". To this day there are a lot of people I hate for not helping me when I needed it and will drop a dime on who think I am their BFF.   Recently I discovered that my bully's wife is sick and I asked about her condition to a friend and she told me *not good*  and I smiled and said "good" I hope she dies soon and painfully. I know my friend almost passed out. Not thinking I was capable of such evil. But I am. The truth is as a bullying victim, if you ever have a problem with anyone else than the "narrative" will be that you weren't bullied, but that there was something wrong with you. So for the rest of my days I have to be jolly on the outside, and a Dexterish psycho, on in the inside. 

Anyway though sounds like you were in a different situation than me and it probably was a smaller amount of time and that probably made the person who was bullied more forgiving.

Hoping that someone's spouse,  who had nothing to do with it, dies painfully out of desire to see a former colleague suffer...

In addition to being evil it indicates a personality disorder. I think I can speak for most in saying that if a friend said something like that, I'd really want to get away from that person.
Honesty and respect are keys to any relationship, particularly a friendship. Sometimes, we get overly concerned about politically correct and having a veneer of kindness. Depending on how much I knew LonelySutton, I might laugh it off, because I know he is not directly causing this perons's death. Since we are creatures of vindication, when we are hurt, we want justice ... we want the wrong to be corrected. I personally would never do that, (wishing anyone, even my worst enemy and their family, death). Death is so final. And unless a person is trying to kill me or my family, then someone's death is needed to preserve my and my family's life. But bullying and murder are not equal. Bully is not deserving of death. It's not justice.
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#38
It's not logical but when bad things happen to people who were cruel to me I feel a sense of justice. I don't wish bad things or feel happy but for those moments, I believe karma came through (I normally don't believe in karma).

LS, I can see you're coming from a place of hurt. Is this friend of yours a very good friend? Not every friend would sympathize with such a comment which is why I tend to keep some things to myself. Some people might back off.

My mother was accused of something that she didn't do. All of her colleagues and managers ganged up on her and bullied her at work. They did what they could to hurt her, ruin her reputation, and get her fired. They screamed at her and talked down to her. She ended up in the hospital from stress.

I used to work with them before my mom did. These people would gather together at lunch and talk about other coworkers. When I run into them now, it baffles me how some of these assholes are married or even have friends. They usually avert their eyes when I glare back.

My mom ended up working alongside (again) with the lead bully in another unit. Hilariously enough, the bully didnt like some of the job duties, filed grievances all of the time, and tried to get my mom to support her. It's fucking hilarious how she seemed to forget about how she led her campaign of 1+ year of daily abuse towards my mother. Her bully friends were not with her in this unit...and she, the bully, went grovelling to my mom for help. On the surface, my mom pretended to be her friend (this bully is very vengeful, better to be careful) but my mom found indirect ways to not help her. It's amazing how weak a bully is when others don't enable or support them!

Too many people disregard bullying and not surprisingly, they haven't fully experienced a deep depth of it. They might have a coworker be mean/ rude but that's not necessarily bullying. In cases like my mother's, I support those that wish to sue. I'm sure she would've pursued it had she lost her job because of them.

Luckily she had a great union that fought for her. Boy, did they fight! Management lied and did what they could to deceive them but the good won this time.
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#39
I can understand that LonelySuttons's friend was aghast in the moment, but I don't even know if they are aware of her bullying history. To me, her reaction indicates she doesn't. As a friend, maybe you should just ask the other person why they would say such a malicious thing even if you are quite shocked. You can know the reasons if you are willing to ask the right questions to make them reconsider. First comes the resentfulness, then the malice - like wishing harm on the innocent. Not saying it's a good thing, but acknowledging it makes sense.

...and don't be the kind of person that claims they could never say/do such a thing. Yes, you can.
"When your solution is exactly the same as your problem then you've successfully dismantled all possibility of human endeavour and you still think you're commanding the cosmic orchestra from the comfort of your own atrophied amygdala. Well only then you can truly call yourself most people." - Doc

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#40
(12-17-2016, 01:58 AM)Rodent Wrote: I can understand that LonelySuttons's friend was aghast in the moment, but I don't even know if they are aware of her bullying history. To me, her reaction indicates she doesn't. As a friend, maybe you should just ask the other person why they would say such a malicious thing even if you are quite shocked. You can know the reasons if you are willing to ask the right questions to make them reconsider. First comes the resentfulness, then the malice - like wishing harm on the innocent. Not saying it's a good thing, but acknowledging it makes sense.

...and don't be the kind of person that claims they could never say/do such a thing. Yes, you can.
Exactly! LonelySutton is not asking a friend to help plan the bully's murder or help get rid of the body. LonelySutton is making it clear that it's difficult to be sympathetic towards someone who has caused so much pain and anguish.
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