M
MyTherapyisALL
Guest
I bumped into 2 former colleagues and 1 of them was a popular, extroverted female that indirectly bullied me at work. When I worked with her, I overheard her badmouthing me to others, telling them that I'm weird, that I should be doing more etc. That's a real hoot because I worked more hours than anyone else and my manager constantly praised me for my work as well as my other colleagues. Any events that occured post-work were arranged by her and I was always purposely excluded.
When I left my old workplace, I felt that I left on a positive note. Although I didn't have "friends" from work, people respected me for my strong work ethic, knowledge and they praised me for my contributions.
Fast-forward several years, I bumped into this person at my new workplace...found out we work in the same building. She was very chilly, had negative body language, looked angry while I tried to be friendly and smiled at her. She was with another colleague that I used to talk to all of the time and that colleague was just as equally chilly and pretended not to see me at first.
I found out from small talk that they work at the unit that I hope to get a job at one day.
I can't help but feel nervous for the future if I want to advance and pursue that job that I would be ostracized again like I was at my old workplace. She has friends and family in management and is popular. When I worked with her, I overheard her a lot (she talks loudly) and it was always badmouthing her friends or people. She's also the type of person to pursue "vengeance" and is quite catty from the conversations that I've overheard. All she ever talks about is people, and everyone is so interested to listen! I can't help but feel that she must have been talking lots about me since I left the job and for my once-friendly colleague to blatantly ignore me all of a sudden.
I really hope I don't run into any more former colleagues because they don't truly know me, but it seems that she's friends with many of them. I notice in female friendships, if 1 person doesn't like another...they will spread rumours, gossip, lies about that other person and try to get everyone to turn against them. Those "followers" often lack an independent mind of their own to think..."Why don't I ask this other person if she truly said that?" "Why don't I get to know that other person?" "Is this information true?" etc. Then they just end up hating and being mean to someone that they don't even know. I speak from personal experience as a SURVIVOR of countless years of bullying.
I'm just not sure what to think. I really want the job, but I feel nervous about potentially walking in and strangers hating me from the first impression or having to relive being ostracized and badmouthed. Another thing is that it's much higher position than the one that I have and I feel that it's unfair that mean people are rewarded and surrounded by friends. I am a good person but I can't seem to find anyone that reaches back when I reach out...
When I left my old workplace, I felt that I left on a positive note. Although I didn't have "friends" from work, people respected me for my strong work ethic, knowledge and they praised me for my contributions.
Fast-forward several years, I bumped into this person at my new workplace...found out we work in the same building. She was very chilly, had negative body language, looked angry while I tried to be friendly and smiled at her. She was with another colleague that I used to talk to all of the time and that colleague was just as equally chilly and pretended not to see me at first.
I found out from small talk that they work at the unit that I hope to get a job at one day.
I can't help but feel nervous for the future if I want to advance and pursue that job that I would be ostracized again like I was at my old workplace. She has friends and family in management and is popular. When I worked with her, I overheard her a lot (she talks loudly) and it was always badmouthing her friends or people. She's also the type of person to pursue "vengeance" and is quite catty from the conversations that I've overheard. All she ever talks about is people, and everyone is so interested to listen! I can't help but feel that she must have been talking lots about me since I left the job and for my once-friendly colleague to blatantly ignore me all of a sudden.
I really hope I don't run into any more former colleagues because they don't truly know me, but it seems that she's friends with many of them. I notice in female friendships, if 1 person doesn't like another...they will spread rumours, gossip, lies about that other person and try to get everyone to turn against them. Those "followers" often lack an independent mind of their own to think..."Why don't I ask this other person if she truly said that?" "Why don't I get to know that other person?" "Is this information true?" etc. Then they just end up hating and being mean to someone that they don't even know. I speak from personal experience as a SURVIVOR of countless years of bullying.
I'm just not sure what to think. I really want the job, but I feel nervous about potentially walking in and strangers hating me from the first impression or having to relive being ostracized and badmouthed. Another thing is that it's much higher position than the one that I have and I feel that it's unfair that mean people are rewarded and surrounded by friends. I am a good person but I can't seem to find anyone that reaches back when I reach out...