It's mostly about luck

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trouble79

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I have come to the conclusion that everything in life is mostly about luck. Lucky people are more attractive, more liked. Unlucky people are unattractive and less liked.

You had a good start. A bit of luck. You get more luck. A bad start. It goes in the opposite direction. It builds up like interest. You get positive and negative feedback loops. The vicious circle. The most painful thing is you're already unhappy and unlucky, yet people treat you like crap and they don't want to know you. So you're punished twice over. 

It happens with friends, money, jobs, girlfriends, respect, everything. One problem affects something else and has an effect on everything else. I wish people could see how this happens. It's not about hard work/laziness or character or genetics or anything else like that. It's mostly luck people live on. I wish I could get out of this.
 
trouble79 said:
I have come to the conclusion that everything in life is mostly about luck. Lucky people are more attractive, more liked. Unlucky people are unattractive and less liked.

You had a good start. A bit of luck. You get more luck. A bad start. It goes in the opposite direction. It builds up like interest. You get positive and negative feedback loops. The vicious circle. The most painful thing is you're already unhappy and unlucky, yet people treat you like crap and they don't want to know you. So you're punished twice over. 

It happens with friends, money, jobs, girlfriends, respect, everything. One problem affects something else and has an effect on everything else. I wish people could see how this happens. It's not about hard work/laziness or character or genetics or anything else like that. It's mostly luck people live on. I wish I could get out of this.

Some people would probably say I have quite a bit of luck. Others might beg to differ. Perhaps it is about counting your lucky stars, but a great majority of it is how someone thinks about their situation. There's more than one way to go about things, and even if there is seemingly no where to go or nothing to do, there is always a way around. Always. I think that attitude has gotten me through many things. I refuse to sit there and just accept things sometimes. So I do something about it. And most of the time, it works in my favor because I didn't just sit around doing nothing.

Oftentimes, we need to get up or get out and do something. Some people don't want to do that. They want solutions to come to them. Life typically doesn't work that way. You can't just rely on a little bit of luck to gain what you want in life. If that's actually how it worked, half the world would just sit at home and magically have everything they wanted without having to lift a finger.
 
TheRealCallie said:
Or maybe it's just the attitude you have going into things....

I wish I had a better attitude. I've been going round and round in circles for years, it's broken me. I'm fed up with not getting anywhere and people looking down on me and being alone and unhappy deep down. Depression sucks the life out of everything.
 
trouble79 said:
TheRealCallie said:
Or maybe it's just the attitude you have going into things....

I wish I had a better attitude. I've been going round and round in circles for years, it's broken me. I'm fed up with not getting anywhere and people looking down on me and being alone and unhappy deep down. Depression sucks the life out of everything.

I have found that it's not really luck that gets most people ahead, but confidence and working hard.
 
TheRealCallie said:
trouble79 said:
TheRealCallie said:
Or maybe it's just the attitude you have going into things....

I wish I had a better attitude. I've been going round and round in circles for years, it's broken me. I'm fed up with not getting anywhere and people looking down on me and being alone and unhappy deep down. Depression sucks the life out of everything.

I have found that it's not really luck that gets most people ahead, but confidence and working hard.

Everybody hates you if you're depressed. You don't feel like doing anything because you feel like it's pointless and you're worthless. It's a massive black hole that sucks everything in.
 
trouble79 said:
TheRealCallie said:
trouble79 said:
TheRealCallie said:
Or maybe it's just the attitude you have going into things....

I wish I had a better attitude. I've been going round and round in circles for years, it's broken me. I'm fed up with not getting anywhere and people looking down on me and being alone and unhappy deep down. Depression sucks the life out of everything.

I have found that it's not really luck that gets most people ahead, but confidence and working hard.

Everybody hates you if you're depressed. You don't feel like doing anything because you feel like it's pointless and you're worthless. It's a massive black hole that sucks everything in.

Hate is a strong word.  But really, it's up to you if you let that black hole suck you in.  Go out and do something anyway.  You likely won't get away from it if you just sit around doing nothing, right?
 
TheRealCallie said:
trouble79 said:
TheRealCallie said:
trouble79 said:
TheRealCallie said:
Or maybe it's just the attitude you have going into things....

I wish I had a better attitude. I've been going round and round in circles for years, it's broken me. I'm fed up with not getting anywhere and people looking down on me and being alone and unhappy deep down. Depression sucks the life out of everything.

I have found that it's not really luck that gets most people ahead, but confidence and working hard.

Everybody hates you if you're depressed. You don't feel like doing anything because you feel like it's pointless and you're worthless. It's a massive black hole that sucks everything in.

Hate is a strong word.  But really, it's up to you if you let that black hole suck you in.  Go out and do something anyway.  You likely won't get away from it if you just sit around doing nothing, right?

My state of mind is not good right now but you're right. There are 2 choices, something or nothing. You need someone to tell you to make it more real. I needed to unload my thoughts. I'm not a bad person but I carry these thoughts around with me all the time. They go round and round inside my head and make everything unbearable.
 
Hate is the appropiate word, it's about luck, people don't care about attitute unless is already backed up by other things, being negative is not the same as doing nothing, working hard not always pays off.
 
Xpendable said:
Hate is the appropiate word, it's about luck, people don't care about attitute unless is already backed up by other things, being negative is not the same as doing nothing, working hard not always pays off.

Hate is never an appropriate word, IMO.  And it's not all about luck or looks or any of that honeysuckle.  It's about how hard you work to get what you want.   It's about what you are prepared to do to get what you want. It's about continuing to try, even if you don't get it right away.  Someone with the right attitude and confidence is going to get a hell of a lot further than someone who has a defeatist attitude and is depressed all the time.
 
TheRealCallie said:
Xpendable said:
Hate is the appropiate word, it's about luck, people don't care about attitute unless is already backed up by other things, being negative is not the same as doing nothing, working hard not always pays off.

Hate is never an appropriate word, IMO.  And it's not all about luck or looks or any of that honeysuckle.  It's about how hard you work to get what you want.   It's about what you are prepared to do to get what you want.  It's about continuing to try, even if you don't get it right away.  Someone with the right attitude and confidence is going to get a hell of a lot further than someone who has a defeatist attitude and is depressed all the time.
I've been for a long walk and had a good think. The thing is not so much about luck as it is about desperation and insecurity. Those feelings make you feel like dirt. You and everybody else knows it!  People can sense it. The best thing is to act on it in a good way but not to Bury it because it will come back and stay indefinitely. It's OK to be desperate and insecure for a while. I've been thinking about various times in the past when I've gotten over it and started to move forwards.
 
TheRealCallie said:
Xpendable said:
Hate is the appropiate word, it's about luck, people don't care about attitute unless is already backed up by other things, being negative is not the same as doing nothing, working hard not always pays off.

Hate is never an appropriate word, IMO.  And it's not all about luck or looks or any of that honeysuckle.  It's about how hard you work to get what you want.   It's about what you are prepared to do to get what you want.  It's about continuing to try, even if you don't get it right away.  Someone with the right attitude and confidence is going to get a hell of a lot further than someone who has a defeatist attitude and is depressed all the time.

I disagree.
 
Xpendable said:
TheRealCallie said:
Xpendable said:
Hate is the appropiate word, it's about luck, people don't care about attitute unless is already backed up by other things, being negative is not the same as doing nothing, working hard not always pays off.

Hate is never an appropriate word, IMO.  And it's not all about luck or looks or any of that honeysuckle.  It's about how hard you work to get what you want.   It's about what you are prepared to do to get what you want.  It's about continuing to try, even if you don't get it right away.  Someone with the right attitude and confidence is going to get a hell of a lot further than someone who has a defeatist attitude and is depressed all the time.

I disagree.
Why??
 
trouble79 said:
I have come to the conclusion that everything in life is mostly about luck. Lucky people are more attractive, more liked. Unlucky people are unattractive and less liked.

You had a good start. A bit of luck. You get more luck. A bad start. It goes in the opposite direction. It builds up like interest. You get positive and negative feedback loops. The vicious circle. The most painful thing is you're already unhappy and unlucky, yet people treat you like crap and they don't want to know you. So you're punished twice over. 

It happens with friends, money, jobs, girlfriends, respect, everything. One problem affects something else and has an effect on everything else. I wish people could see how this happens. It's not about hard work/laziness or character or genetics or anything else like that. It's mostly luck people live on. I wish I could get out of this.

I think life's circumstances are largely out of our control, call it luck if you want. But I'm not depressed like you and Xpendable sound. I'm ok with this idea.
It starts when we're born - we have zero control over who our parents are or the location we're born in and both of these circumstances, like it or not, have a huge influence on our lives.
Although it's quite common to tell ourselves that we control our own lives - I'm sure this is a more comforting feeling to some.
Life would be pretty boring and dismal though if we knew what lies around every corner and how everything will turn out.
 
Martin Meadows has a book about self-confidence (well, he calls it self-efficacy, but what he is talking about has everything to do with self-confidence) that I find very helpful and useful. I will cite here directly because I personally find this very relevant. And yes, living by these principles helps. It takes work, but it is very much worth it. He talks about luck, too: 

Self-efficacy is the strength of your beliefs in your ability to complete tasks successfully. It determines things such as:
  • whether you will persist or give up while working on a specific task;
  • how long you will stick to uncomfortable changes designed to bring long-term results (diet, workout regimen);
  • what goals you’ll set for yourself and where “extremely difficult” ends and “impossible” starts;
The beliefs you have about your abilities shape your entire life. They affect how you think, feel, and behave. If you have little self-efficacy, you’ll have a tendency to write off things you consider impossible. As a result, for the sole reason you don’t believe you’re able to achieve your dreams, you’ll live a mediocre life, instead of realizing your full potential. 

Here are five common characteristics of people with a strong sense of self-efficacy:
  • They consider challenges as something they can overcome and master.
  • They persevere in the face of difficulties. Obstacles don’t make them lose confidence in their abilities.
  • They take responsibility for their failures and believe they control the outcome (i.e. they don’t believe in getting lucky).
  • They put more effort into completing a task, which makes them more likely to achieve it. 
  • They commit to their goals and develop a deeper understanding of how to achieve them.
And here are five common characteristics of people with a weak sense of self-efficacy.
  • They avoid challenges. Consequently, they rarely (if ever) grow. 
  • They believe that difficult goals are beyond their capabilities, and thus they don’t set them, and don’t achieve big wins.
  • They quickly lose confidence in their capabilities and give up on their goals. 
  • They tend to take a narrow view of the task and focus on the surface instead of the underlying principles. 
  • They don’t believe that their actions and decisions make a difference in their life (instead, they believe in external factors like luck).
 
Luck is an indeterminable variable, because of it being indeterminable it is the same and different for everyone at the same time.

Sitting on my couch at home I haven't found a suitable women yet, **** my luck right? Well it could happen, someone might ring my doorbell for a collection, or selling something and just fall head over heals for me at that very instant! Possible but very inprobable :p

I would argue that it's mostly about chance, If we state that the variable "luck" is a constant factor applied to everything we do and everything that happens to us, then we can argue that doing more things and exposing ourselves to more happenings will increases our chances of getting "lucky". (no pun intended, just "lucky" it turned out like that!)

Simple mathematical example,

Life = N * (Chance * luck) (feel free to correct my math!)
 
MisterLonely said:
Luck is an indeterminable variable, because of it being indeterminable it is the same and different for everyone at the same time.

Sitting on my couch at home I haven't found a suitable women yet, **** my luck right? Well it could happen, someone might ring my doorbell for a collection, or selling something and just fall head over heals for me at that very instant! Possible but very inprobable :p

I would argue that it's mostly about chance, If we state that the variable "luck" is a constant factor applied to everything we do and everything that happens to us, then we can argue that doing more things and exposing ourselves to more happenings will increases our chances of getting "lucky". (no pun intended, just "lucky" it turned out like that!)

Simple mathematical example,

Life = N * (Chance * luck) (feel free to correct my math!)

Math is gross :club:
 
TheRealCallie said:
MisterLonely said:
Luck is an indeterminable variable, because of it being indeterminable it is the same and different for everyone at the same time.

Sitting on my couch at home I haven't found a suitable women yet, **** my luck right? Well it could happen, someone might ring my doorbell for a collection, or selling something and just fall head over heals for me at that very instant! Possible but very inprobable :p

I would argue that it's mostly about chance, If we state that the variable "luck" is a constant factor applied to everything we do and everything that happens to us, then we can argue that doing more things and exposing ourselves to more happenings will increases our chances of getting "lucky". (no pun intended, just "lucky" it turned out like that!)

Simple mathematical example,

Life = N * (Chance * luck) (feel free to correct my math!)

Math is gross :club:

Math is not gross :) It makes things clearer. People who make it their priority to take action learn to see opportunities where others don't see the opportunities.
 
TheRealCallie said:
No, math is gross :club:

Can also be fun or interresting, for instance.

Pick any number between 1000 and 9999
Multiply this number by 10001
Devide the multiplied number by 137
Devide the devision by the original 4 digit number

I predict the answer will be 73 no matter wich number you'll pick
 

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