I was hoping it was his 20 year old friend who hangs out on the back porch with him.
When I confronted him, I simply showed him all the things I'd found and asked for an explanation.
He immediately said that he knew it looked bad for him, and the only thing he'd ever done was try the cigars. He said his friend was the one smoking the pot and he allowed him to do it in the back yard because his mom would kick him out if she found out he was smoking pot. He said he didn't put the cigar wrappers in the trash because he knew I'd find them. He said the guy has had some issues lately (this part rang true because I know that he had to leave college and come home recently because his parents split up) and he was using pot to cope with his problems.
I told him that THC stayed in the system a bit and that I could go get a test from Target at any time. I didn't accuse him of anything, but he knows me well enough to know I wouldn't hesitate if felt I needed to test him. He swears he is covering for the other guy and begged me not to tell the guy's mom because they're best friends and he didn't want the mom to make him leave. He said he would no longer cover for him and he'd have an open door policy for his room (I generally stay out to respect his privacy). He said I was free to go in and search ANY time and he would tell his friend that his parents knew what was going on and that our home was off limits for any illegal activities.
I also reminded him that, should his mother find out what he'd been up to, that she would remove him from our home (not out of any sense of motherhood, but of greed for child support).
I told him that IF he kept his end of the bargain, I saw no need to tell his mother, that we would handle the issue. I told him if I found ANYTHING that lead me to believe he was doing anything he shouldn't be, that I would immediately drug test him and inform his mother, as well as telling his friend's mother what had gone on.
He thanked me and said he appreciated me not telling his mom and not getting his friend in trouble. He also thanked me for not yelling, etc. and allowing him to set things straight.
Did he try pot or is he smoking it? Short of drug testing him, I don't know. What I do know, is that if he wants to do it, I can't really stop him. All I can do is make sure he isn't doing it HERE. He obviously knows that I will be checking his room periodically and there is the fear of the consequences, should he be caught with anything. I saw no reason the draw the whole thing out or give him a hard time.
Either he will do as he promised or he won't - and suffer the consequences.
I suppose it went pretty well, considering.
