Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Totally unsupportive family
#31
(12-26-2016, 10:30 AM)dd11 Wrote: If you are living with them, then they are not "totally unsupportive" then?  I mean, part of the issues that we all sometimes have is talking about life in catastrophic language. Or the language of All/Never, etc.    Not saying they are kind or pleasant, but if you are at least living together is that not at least a modicum of support?

As I said, half of this property is legally mine. So it's not charity from them, but just my right to use my own space there to live.

(12-26-2016, 12:37 PM)bleed_the_freak Wrote: Well, we can take the OP at his word that he is suffering at the hands of his family. Or, we can nitpick him with semantic debates intended to further alienate him. The former would be a good faith effort to understand and to help. The latter would simply be destructive on a variety of levels.

Thank you. It's not easy to discuss such topics on forums, as unfortunately too many people think by default that "family" should be good for a person, and thus try to rather find an excuse for their actions. Some cultural issue...

At least I see that at the end I'll have to break any ties with them, like they are non-existent.
Contro l'oro c'è il sangue - e fa la storia!
Reply
#32
(12-26-2016, 02:18 PM)Augusto Wrote: At least I see that at the end I'll have to break any ties with them, like they are non-existent.

I sat alone on Christmas yesterday because several members of my family had taken steps to preemptively hurt me in preparation for the holiday. I know what it feels like to just be "done". Don't listen to people who poke.
Reply
#33
(12-26-2016, 02:18 PM)Augusto Wrote:
(12-26-2016, 10:30 AM)dd11 Wrote: If you are living with them, then they are not "totally unsupportive" then?  I mean, part of the issues that we all sometimes have is talking about life in catastrophic language. Or the language of All/Never, etc.    Not saying they are kind or pleasant, but if you are at least living together is that not at least a modicum of support?

As I said, half of this property is legally mine. So it's not charity from them, but just my right to use my own space there to live.

(12-26-2016, 12:37 PM)bleed_the_freak Wrote: Well, we can take the OP at his word that he is suffering at the hands of his family. Or, we can nitpick him with semantic debates intended to further alienate him. The former would be a good faith effort to understand and to help. The latter would simply be destructive on a variety of levels.

Thank you. It's not easy to discuss such topics on forums, as unfortunately too many people think by default that "family" should be good for a person, and thus try to rather find an excuse for their actions. Some cultural issue...

At least I see that at the end I'll have to break any ties with them, like they are non-existent.
OK.  Just trying to help you sort it out.  Can you limit your exposure to them more so you aren't feeling the effects of that so much?
Reply
#34
(12-26-2016, 11:55 PM)dd11 Wrote:
(12-26-2016, 02:18 PM)Augusto Wrote:
(12-26-2016, 10:30 AM)dd11 Wrote: If you are living with them, then they are not "totally unsupportive" then?  I mean, part of the issues that we all sometimes have is talking about life in catastrophic language. Or the language of All/Never, etc.    Not saying they are kind or pleasant, but if you are at least living together is that not at least a modicum of support?

As I said, half of this property is legally mine. So it's not charity from them, but just my right to use my own space there to live.

(12-26-2016, 12:37 PM)bleed_the_freak Wrote: Well, we can take the OP at his word that he is suffering at the hands of his family. Or, we can nitpick him with semantic debates intended to further alienate him. The former would be a good faith effort to understand and to help. The latter would simply be destructive on a variety of levels.

Thank you. It's not easy to discuss such topics on forums, as unfortunately too many people think by default that "family" should be good for a person, and thus try to rather find an excuse for their actions. Some cultural issue...

At least I see that at the end I'll have to break any ties with them, like they are non-existent.
OK.  Just trying to help you sort it out.  Can you limit your exposure to them more so you aren't feeling the effects of that so much?

I'm trying, but I can't do much. To finally get rid of them I need my project to succeed, and for this I need lots of work from home via my computer. So my free time is mostly spent at home.
Contro l'oro c'è il sangue - e fa la storia!
Reply
#35
(12-25-2016, 08:31 PM)Augusto Wrote: Thanks, guys. Today got another arguing from them - I was totally correct and polite, yet they are now mad as hell and angry. They really never gonna accept my personality - no one of relatives.

I really need somehow to cut them off my life. But it's complicated - I mean, I know them for 30 years, and it's never that easy to just disconnect from people who you know for a long and share a lot in the past.

RadioMan, what do you mean about being shielded while in range? How is it possible?

Find a way to become immune to them mentally so that they don't bother you as much or at all. Try putting an imaginary bubble around anyone that's bothering you & have it filter out the stuff that does bother you. That's just an example, feel free to experiment with your own idea's. The goal is not to let anyone drag you down.
Reply
#36
(12-27-2016, 01:40 AM)Augusto Wrote:
(12-26-2016, 11:55 PM)dd11 Wrote:
(12-26-2016, 02:18 PM)Augusto Wrote:
(12-26-2016, 10:30 AM)dd11 Wrote: If you are living with them, then they are not "totally unsupportive" then?  I mean, part of the issues that we all sometimes have is talking about life in catastrophic language. Or the language of All/Never, etc.    Not saying they are kind or pleasant, but if you are at least living together is that not at least a modicum of support?

As I said, half of this property is legally mine. So it's not charity from them, but just my right to use my own space there to live.

(12-26-2016, 12:37 PM)bleed_the_freak Wrote: Well, we can take the OP at his word that he is suffering at the hands of his family. Or, we can nitpick him with semantic debates intended to further alienate him. The former would be a good faith effort to understand and to help. The latter would simply be destructive on a variety of levels.

Thank you. It's not easy to discuss such topics on forums, as unfortunately too many people think by default that "family" should be good for a person, and thus try to rather find an excuse for their actions. Some cultural issue...

At least I see that at the end I'll have to break any ties with them, like they are non-existent.
OK.  Just trying to help you sort it out.  Can you limit your exposure to them more so you aren't feeling the effects of that so much?

I'm trying, but I can't do much. To finally get rid of them I need my project to succeed, and for this I need lots of work from home via my computer. So my free time is mostly spent at home.

OK fair enough .  COuld you take your computer to the Library?  At least get out of their presence for awhile for your own mental health?
Reply
#37
dd11, I can't. Libraries here are terrible, mainly without internet access and ability to use them for your personal work. And those with internet are pretty expensive to use.
Contro l'oro c'è il sangue - e fa la storia!
Reply
#38
Do you have to pay to use the internet at the Library? Here, it's free. But, just trying to give you some options.
Reply
#39
(12-27-2016, 05:03 AM)dd11 Wrote: Do you have to pay to use the internet at the Library?  Here, it's free.  But, just trying to give you some options.

Here you have to pay for access to such libraries, which are modern, with internet and power sockets for laptops - either for daily, or monthly. And it's pretty expensive. And they are very few.
Contro l'oro c'è il sangue - e fa la storia!
Reply
#40
Moderator edit, offensive malicious content removed
Reply


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Very awkward/uncomfortable family relationships Lafleur786 2 434 10-14-2017, 10:25 AM
Last Post: constant stranger
  Cutting ties with close family? (Dad) Osiris 4 666 08-21-2017, 08:46 AM
Last Post: Meaw
  Does anyone hate a family member? IceCastles 11 2,054 12-18-2016, 06:23 AM
Last Post: Augusto
  Family issues Eteled 3 1,099 09-05-2015, 05:16 AM
Last Post: Serephina
  Family Reunions dd11 14 2,066 08-03-2015, 09:24 PM
Last Post: TheRealCallie
  call with family doctor mickey 1 666 07-17-2015, 11:46 AM
Last Post: HoodedMonk
  Totally stressed out Tiina63 12 1,018 05-30-2015, 06:29 PM
Last Post: Tiina63
  Creative ideas to avoid Christmas with the family? Peaches 12 2,371 11-30-2014, 11:33 PM
Last Post: Darrell_Licht
  How Far Do You Believe Greed Takes People? Money>Family? Animelover10102 3 1,392 09-19-2014, 01:55 PM
Last Post: lonelydoc
Sad This guy is tearing our family apart Animelover10102 2 1,038 07-17-2014, 07:02 AM
Last Post: Animelover10102

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)