Happiness

Everyone everywhere is selfish. Everyone just wants what they want. Right now i want to type this up so that i can express my feelings to everyone so that feedback can be given to make myself feel a little better about my life. And, you are reading this perhaps to compare whatever thoughts come to you about me to your own values beleifs and expireinces and give your opinion or not give it and await apropriate responses. Whatever you do weather its somehting or nothing is because you want to do it. Everyone knows this, and it isnt a complicated concept.

Every action is a selfish action. Caring for others is selfish. Charity is selfish. Service is selfish. On some level its all in place to achieve want. Its all what people want to do to get where they want to go whether its mentaly phisically or spiritually. This is the nature of happiness, achieving want.

If you are suffering right now. If you are depressed miserable and in despair. You are a truley selfless person. The only reason we are here to live is to be happy because, that is what we want to do. The only selfless act in this world is suffering.

I kind of like the Buddhist idea is that suffering is actually tied to desire. When are freed from wanting things, you are freed from suffering. The Vory in Russia take this to a different level by saying that you are only truly free when you have no responsibility.

As far as every act being selfish, it's kind of a given. If creatures were not to be selfish there would not be a sense of survival instinct.

If you suffer for the sake of making someone pity you, is this not a selfish act as well?

To feel sorry for your self is selfish? Mmmm, interesting concept. Maybe your right.

I suppose your right. I mean you do get a lot of really rich ppl doing charity work cos they feel guilty that they have so much maybe? Or is it they have as much as they well ever need so just wont to put something back? When we see a tramp in the street and give some loss change, do we do that to make our self feel better or to show off in front of other ppl? Are because we feel sorry for the guy on the street that's hungry? I would say by giving we make out self feel better so that's why we do it. But to walk past knowing we have moor then enough to give but do not I would say is a lot moor selfish.

Why do you want to suffer ?
Life is not without pain...but I belive suffering is optional.
Kind of like courage is not without fear.

Kind of like taking the middle road...I guess.
If you're happy all the time happiness becomes dull ..if you experince sadness every once in a while then
you can aprricate happiness. If you're sad all the time..that would suck too.

Life is like music to me, I guess.
There's fast notes.. slow notes, in between notes, high notes, and low notes...
When you step back and listen to music as a whole...it's a thing of beauty.
If you hear high notes all the time...you'll probably go off the off.lol
Kind of like nature. The 4 seasons...there's diffent season in our lives.
Kind of like..darkness and daylight.
Life is beautiful...all of it.

I think it's grace. Or trying to accept it as graceful as we can ..whatever we are going through
in different stages of our lives and whatever changes we might encounter.
Whatever stuggles , changes, or challeges we go through.
Sometimes it happens slowly , sometimes we grasp it quickly.

We learned to love ourself and have compassion towards ourself..
Becuase we can't give what we don't have.
The love, patients and compassion we have for ourself..the more we can give to others..
You know the old saying ..."You can't love someone until you love yourself first."
I don't know...that's just my perceptions or understanding of things.

I can't exactly discribe what someone else concept of happiness is.
Becuase I can only see it or perceive it from my piont of view or what I've experince.
It's not better or worst..it's just different.

Kind of like ..if we all sit at a table and look at an object.
We see that object only from our percipective.
We try to stay open to others...and try to get a percipective from their piont of view of that object,
so we might get a better over all view of what that object is.
Like triangulation when trying to pin piont a placment..as in constuctions.

Kind of like me trying to describe the color RED to a blinde person..that's never seen colors before.
Or trying to explain sounds to a deaf person that's never heard a sound before.

It's about relationships...I can only relate to what I can relate.lol

I dunno
There's self centered...then there's self awarness.
There's selffish...then there's self presevation.
There's self pity..then there's self love.
There's sympathy...then there's empathy

Bluey said:

To feel sorry for your self is selfish? Mmmm, interesting concept. Maybe your right.

I suppose your right. I mean you do get a lot of really rich ppl doing charity work cos they feel guilty that they have so much maybe? Or is it they have as much as they well ever need so just wont to put something back? When we see a tramp in the street and give some loss change, do we do that to make our self feel better or to show off in front of other ppl? Are because we feel sorry for the guy on the street that's hungry? I would say by giving we make out self feel better so that's why we do it. But to walk past knowing we have moor then enough to give but do not I would say is a lot moor selfish.

Click to expand...

Selfish people dont feel guilt. and so what if you feel good helping others, its not selfish. A selfish person wouldnt care to give money to poor, they wouldnt get that good feeling of helping someone. Just because you enjoy doing selfless acts, in no way does that make you selfish, thats insane. There is nothing wrong with personal satisfaction when doing good deeds, the only people that get this feeling are people that arnt selfish, selfish people dont feel this, hence why they are selfish.

This whole idea is in contridiction with itself.

Darkest Seraphim said:

Every action is a selfish action. Caring for others is selfish. Charity is selfish. Service is selfish. On some level its all in place to achieve want. Its all what people want to do to get where they want to go whether its mentaly phisically or spiritually. This is the nature of happiness, achieving want.

If you are suffering right now. If you are depressed miserable and in despair. You are a truley selfless person. The only reason we are here to live is to be happy because, that is what we want to do. The only selfless act in this world is suffering.

Click to expand...

What makes this true for you? Why do you say caring for people is a selfish act?

Darkest Seraphim said:

Everyone everywhere is selfish. Everyone just wants what they want. Right now i want to type this up so that i can express my feelings to everyone so that feedback can be given to make myself feel a little better about my life. And, you are reading this perhaps to compare whatever thoughts come to you about me to your own values beleifs and expireinces and give your opinion or not give it and await apropriate responses. Whatever you do weather its somehting or nothing is because you want to do it. Everyone knows this, and it isnt a complicated concept.

Every action is a selfish action. Caring for others is selfish. Charity is selfish. Service is selfish. On some level its all in place to achieve want. Its all what people want to do to get where they want to go whether its mentaly phisically or spiritually. This is the nature of happiness, achieving want.

If you are suffering right now. If you are depressed miserable and in despair. You are a truley selfless person. The only reason we are here to live is to be happy because, that is what we want to do. The only selfless act in this world is suffering.

Click to expand...

Lol, I couldn't agree less. This is almost my anti-philosophy.

Most people don't do things for others to make themselves feel good, or to get something out of it. They do it to make the other person feel good.

Similarily, revelling in your misery is going to bring others down as well... and I fail to see how this is selfless.

Steel said:

Darkest Seraphim said:

Everyone everywhere is selfish. Everyone just wants what they want. Right now i want to type this up so that i can express my feelings to everyone so that feedback can be given to make myself feel a little better about my life. And, you are reading this perhaps to compare whatever thoughts come to you about me to your own values beleifs and expireinces and give your opinion or not give it and await apropriate responses. Whatever you do weather its somehting or nothing is because you want to do it. Everyone knows this, and it isnt a complicated concept.

Every action is a selfish action. Caring for others is selfish. Charity is selfish. Service is selfish. On some level its all in place to achieve want. Its all what people want to do to get where they want to go whether its mentaly phisically or spiritually. This is the nature of happiness, achieving want.

If you are suffering right now. If you are depressed miserable and in despair. You are a truley selfless person. The only reason we are here to live is to be happy because, that is what we want to do. The only selfless act in this world is suffering.

Click to expand...

Lol, I couldn't agree less. This is almost my anti-philosophy.

Most people don't do things for others to make themselves feel good, or to get something out of it. They do it to make the other person feel good.

Similarily, revelling in your misery is going to bring others down as well... and I fail to see how this is selfless.

Click to expand...

Do you ever feel good after you've made someone else feel better?

Would you still strive to make others feel good even if they went out of their way to make you feel bad?

Unacceptance said:

Steel said:

Darkest Seraphim said:

Everyone everywhere is selfish. Everyone just wants what they want. Right now i want to type this up so that i can express my feelings to everyone so that feedback can be given to make myself feel a little better about my life. And, you are reading this perhaps to compare whatever thoughts come to you about me to your own values beleifs and expireinces and give your opinion or not give it and await apropriate responses. Whatever you do weather its somehting or nothing is because you want to do it. Everyone knows this, and it isnt a complicated concept.

Every action is a selfish action. Caring for others is selfish. Charity is selfish. Service is selfish. On some level its all in place to achieve want. Its all what people want to do to get where they want to go whether its mentaly phisically or spiritually. This is the nature of happiness, achieving want.

If you are suffering right now. If you are depressed miserable and in despair. You are a truley selfless person. The only reason we are here to live is to be happy because, that is what we want to do. The only selfless act in this world is suffering.

Click to expand...

Lol, I couldn't agree less. This is almost my anti-philosophy.

Most people don't do things for others to make themselves feel good, or to get something out of it. They do it to make the other person feel good.

Similarily, revelling in your misery is going to bring others down as well... and I fail to see how this is selfless.

Click to expand...

Do you ever feel good after you've made someone else feel better?

Would you still strive to make others feel good even if they went out of their way to make you feel bad?

Click to expand...

Good questions, and I know where you're coming from.

In answer to the first, the answer is possibly. Certainly if I could help someone to the degree where their troubles became a thing of the past, and they were blissfully happy, then I would be happy too. Real life rarely works this way however. So I would ask:

Don't you feel good when you meet someone else whom is happy, even if you aren't responsible for that person's happiness in any way?

As for your second question, I'm certainly not a saint or some paragon of humanity. Some people whom are feeling pain do lash out... but in these cases, its not hard to be mature enough to see it for what it is. Some people, conversely, like to bring others down in order to bring themselves up.

Unacceptance said:

Do you ever feel good after you've made someone else feel better?

Would you still strive to make others feel good even if they went out of their way to make you feel bad?

Click to expand...

The thing here is not to confuse the outcome with the intent. I have helped people and still not felt good in the end for having done it because they were in such poor conditions that the help was not able to stop the inevitable. I personally don't do things such as helping people with the goal of feeling good. Feeling good is an added bonus-nothing more.

Would I strive to make others feel good even when they strive to make me feel bad? It depends on the situation and WHY that person is acting out in that way. I have done just that many times. I know of one person in paticular who made my life a living hell and it didn't matter. I know he was coming from a place of pain and confusion. He had mental problems and if he called me up today and asked for something, I would give it to him knowing how he is.
It's called unconditional love. You love people in spite of what they do. There are boundaries that must be maintained for healthy reasons but, you would be amazed at how forgiving you can be with just a little bit of understanding and knowing where that person is coming from.

Do I want to help others for my beneift? No, right now I could say the hell with such people and after I finish my education, I could sit back and enjoy making great money. Trust me, having a nice home, traveling, driving an expensive car would be nice. I help others for the betterment of humanity and for the betterment of that persons life. If that is selfish then I wish that we all could be so selfish as to look beyond ourselves and try to do something that matters for humanity. But that's not going to happens because for the most part, people are too selfish and too focused on thier pain and themselves to care.

That's my opinion.

Steel said:

Similarily, revelling in your misery is going to bring others down as well... and I fail to see how this is selfless.

Click to expand...

You bring up a good point about other's misery bringing people down. When someone you love revels in misery, it makes you feel bad. So if we love as a selfish act, then we would no longer want to love that person because we no longer "feel good."

I find that ridiculous. We love inspite of what someone is going through. We feel what they feel, don't we? It doesn't matter what we feel in the end. We hope for the best but, aren't afraid to face the worst. Nothing is more selfless than going through someone's honeysuckle with them and being there for them. You don't have to get anything in return.

Want drives everyhting in life. Every action that we do is under our control and is because we desire to do so. Even in choicless impossible situations. We do have a choice to do or not to do. To live or die. to live or live. to die or die. Choices are ALWAYS driven by picking the lesser of two evils. The greater of two goods. Going through pain and anguish with or without someone else, even if the benefit at first is not yours, its all to add to a negative. Even if in the end you are miserable, Its always an upgrade from the alternative. which in the end always effects yourself inside its always your choice, what YOU think is right. In its purest form selfish acts can be broken down into getting out of bed in the morning. Because the alternative no matter how unbearable it is wheather a lot or almost nonexistant influences your destiny. And, your destiny is always your own. This is circular reasoning.

Its like killing someone to put them out of there misery. I dont think anyone would want to have that responsibility put onto them. But, anyone who has ever gone through with an act actually DID want to do it. Whatever events transpire somehting must have added up to justify such actions. no matter how horrific the events we end up in it is all by choice. In that moment when we pull that trigger, pour that glass of milk, or kick that rock. Its all because we feel the NEED to do so. Need is want. To achieve want is happiness. To be happy is selfish.

Perhaps we are where we are in our lives because we cant achive what we want. Perhaps the defenition of selfishness needs to be changed.

I've been thinking about how poeple are instively selfish quite allot recently and when u look at it in terms of evoultion and survival of the species etc. it makes complete sense for everyone to be selfish.

What I don't understand is are we being selfish when we care for and love others? If we only care about people and love the because we expect the same in return, how come even when we don't get the same back we carry on caring about and loving them?

I find the whole concept extemely difficult to deal with, I always put my family and friends first. Their needs always come before my own needs nomatter what and I do it because their happiness means everything to me. I constantly get told (especially when my friends let me down) that I need to put myself first. Yet I never have been able to. Is this in someway selfish?

I think I'm rambling but my basic point is if we are meant to be selfish as a species then why are all the good things in life (love, friendship etc) about selflessness.

I don't belive Jenni had a chioce when she died.
There's no justification behind her death.
It wasn't my chioce that she died.
It is not my chioce to feel the pain of her death.

Lonesome Crow said:

I don't belive Jenni had a chioce when she died.
There's no justification behind her death.
It wasn't my chioce that she died.
It is not my chioce to feel the pain of her death.

Click to expand...

(((((crow)))))

I'm still trying to grasp what serahum trying to say.
A lot of it makesense..but a lot of it dosn't.
Becuase I can't throw a blanket over everything on that concept.

I have personal chioces which is true, yet I'm about as powerless as i can get over certain conditions...
such as the trun of the ties, the rotations of the earth or the sun raising in the moring.

I guess..an indiviual defines selfishness or happiness in thier own ways.

The will to live or servival is what drives life. That's basic instink for any living organism.
Even the cells in our bodys will try to survive and reproduce.
We're just on the top of the food chain ...that's all.lol
and the rest of the honeysuckle is just in our heads...I THINK .lmao

I think that's what civilization is for..to mess with our heads.lol
Becuase there has to be sometype of order..and it depends who the hell is in charge or
on top of the food change...lol

If a cow can talk, A cow would probably said..." Holly honeysuckle, humans are fresia up".lmao

I'm guessing it has something to do with "SCREW GUILT"...but where the hell do you draw the line ?
Just like the whiteman...freaken almost erased the redman from the face of the earth.lol
If you were a part of the growning population...you said the soilders where heros.lol
If your tribe was getting sluttered...you'd say they were evil mofo.lol

So..you're saying we should just accept and follow our basic animal instinks to whatever ends.
If a Lion saw you....you're just MEAT.lol...No guilt or shame a lion will eat you and be happy about it too.lol

Lonesome Crow said:

I don't belive Jenni had a chioce when she died.
There's no justification behind her death.
It wasn't my chioce that she died.
It is not my chioce to feel the pain of her death.

Click to expand...

Jenni? I don't remember you mentioning her. I am sorry for your loss. People who have never lost someone don't fully realize how painful it is. I had a patient of mine say once about his wife that had died years earlier,"I miss her everyday. You never know what death is until it comes to your house." I never forgot that. If you ever want to talk, pm me I would be glad to listen.
(((((((((((Lonesome Crow))))))))))))))

well...I have a hard time sometimes. It's not as bad as use to be.
I don't want to talk about it much becuase I can't grasp it.
i guess i'm doing better since i'm not having a major melt down while i'm writing this.
I think I'm getting better...just becuase I'm here and I'm reaching out in my own ways.
I miss her so much somtimes it overwhelms me.
I don't really know what to say...other then that i love her and miss her so so much.
I struggle with not ever wanting to forget her and the need to continue with my life.
That's why I've been in my cave.lol

Thank for listening though...

The word selfish needs to be looked at in a different light. It feels bad when we think about it or when we describe ourselves or others as selfish. But, this should not be so. The only way to get to where we want to be is by being selfish. Anyone who is successful in this world in anyway has gotton there by doing one thing and that is the thing we do every second of every minute of everyday. And that is look after #1 which is ourselves.

You cant control the world around you. you cant choose unfortunate events to just dissapear and not happen to you. But, you can choose to be effected by them. You can choose ot be heartless to be souless and to be without remorse. You can choose to let nothing stand in the way of you and what is most important in life and that is your happiness. Because misery is the absolute worst human condition. Its worse than illness, its worse than degridation, its worse than losing your freedom. Its the worst human condition. Its worse than death. Its negative death as far as im concerned. Its the harsh reality of things.

Maybe ive gone mad. Maybe I have no idea what im talking about. Either way, here is the message. Time is ticking, and i am still not strong enough to be a selfish person. Time will not stop for me or for anyone else. It will not stop and wait for any of us to figure out what really matters. Its time to stop being so afraid of being a little self centered. A little self reliant. A little self assured, maybe even a little evil. It sure as hell i sbetter than the alternative which is, as I see it, a fate worse than death.