What are you walking away from 2016 with?

For myself, I have discovered a new iron strength within myself. About 3 months into 2016, I discovered that it's possible to be cautious while moving forward. And to still walk through fire while completely engulfed in fear. I have worked through anxiety even when I felt as though I would pee my pants. And I have a growing excitement for the future. 

I have made several wonderful friends here, as well as a couple of promising acquaintances in my personal life. 

And, unlike this time last year, I'm ahead on the bills :club:

What a wonderful positive post Amy. Thanks for sharing and may 2017 continue in the same vein x

Like you, I discovered a lot of inner strength this year and I now have a career path in mind. Unfortunately I am still coming into 2017 with a lot of uncertainty, mostly due to the fact that I'm worried that if I get into basic training that I'll end up getting an ear infection from jumping off the ship into the water. Really don't want something like this messed up for me because of something I can't control. 

Still, I'm hoping it will all come together.

A full year of maintaining a romantic friendship with a lady.  A first for me in more than 30 yrs.
A second successful and prosperous summer vending at the farmers market.....probably trivial to a lot of people but a big deal for me:  it means I'm part of a community (always gonna be an issue with me) and the repeat customers, each with their own favorite choice of my breads, are some version of 'relationship'.
I've been recruited as a beginning beekeeping instructor at the local community college.  OK, that's way out of my accustomed lifestyle!  And so far, so good.  I still get stage fright all day before each monthly class meeting, but I'm OK once I'm there.
I also harvested 120 lbs of my own honey....3rd year at it and the first significant yield.  Last year I only got 40lbs.

On the down side, 2016 was the most difficult year of my adult life.  I'm a nurse for my 92 yr old mother.  She's had a broken back, a fractured hip, she's in permanent atrial fibrillation and had pneumonia too, along with congestive heart failure and of course her long time depression.  She'll be using the walker from now on, cannot go outside the house by herself and she'll never drive again.  And she's obnoxious too I'm afraid....the only control she has on events anymore is to disapprove of things.  On the upside there, she's delusional a lot of the time so she's not really aware of a lot of what's happening around the property.  On the down side, she's delusional......so most of what she thinks is going on around here, isn't really happening....but it's still wrong.

I can manage things but I'm not happy.  At all.  I'm not sure how much longer I can keep doing it.

Do you have any help with your mum cs? Mine also has dementia and it's so emotionally and physically exhausting.
Lots of assistance available if you ask for it Cancel that last sentence, I checked your profile and you're in the US not UK so I don't know what's available over there.

Grateful for ALL. Rediscovering self respect and enjoying it. Being okay with saying "this is not okay". And cheese cake.

It's been an extremely difficult year for me for a number of reasons.
It would be nice if things were different this year, but my family dynamic would have to go through an extreme realignment. Unfortunately, I don't think that will happen. To be honest, I'd probably be satisfied with a little peace within. Yeah...that would do quite nicely.

My first thought was 'not a lot' and then I remembered that I stopped smoking and that was a big achievement after smoking all my life.
For 2017 I just have to learn how to eat again.

I'm much stronger than I have ever been. I look much better than I ever have. I've got far more nice clothing than I have ever had before. All 3 of those are tied to the fact that I kept up my 4-6 day a week exercise routine.

I have a rudimentary understanding of the German language.
I think that I have someone that I can truly call a friend/'friend'/whatever.
I followed through with everything that I said I was going to do.

Is life perfect? Hell no, not even close, but I'm pleasantly surprised by the progress that I have made.

^ Nice going! It's hard to make those changes after a while... I'm glad you found the sparkle to do it.

Jently said:

Do you have any help with your mum cs?  Mine also has dementia and it's so emotionally and physically exhausting.
Lots of assistance available if you ask for it   Cancel that last sentence, I checked your profile and you're in the US not UK so I don't know what's available over there.

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No I'm afraid not, Jently.  There isn't a NHS over here.  But we do have private insurance that covers the cost of in-home help, however mom is still mentally functional enough to voice her resistance to any outside help in the home.  So far it's been less trouble managing on my own than managing her distress at bringing in a home health service nurse.  That may change as time goes by.

Thank you for asking after us and may good fortune come to you in 2017.

I'm walking away from 2016 with some things:

- I'm still very much a beginner and I could and should be playing more, but even so I am still better at guitar now than I was at the start of 2016.

- I've talked to some people online more this year than before, and it's been pleasant.

- I've done a lot of introspection this year to figure out why things have gone the way they have for me, especially in terms of dating and I think I'm starting to get closer to figuring out what's wrong with me. I've managed to figure out a lot of what's unattractive about me, and unfortunately it's a lot, but at least I've found some of the problems. I'm still not sure what I can do about them, or if there even is anything I can do anymore. I guess it's better than having no idea what to work on, though.

Food. All the food. It's never getting it back.

Legs.

And a lot more cereal box wisdom.

2016 was for me a year of recovery, most of 2015 was spend slipping back into depression and only at the end was I starting to get back to being ok with myself again.

2016 was also a year of acceptence, when someone from 2015 rekindled a feeling in me and I fell for her again, only to be dropped like I was before after just a few weeks I accepted that it was her choice and no fault was on me... I can only be who I am and that should be enough, I felt bad for a few weeks but was able to avoid letting it depress me like it did a year before.

2016 was a year of realisation, It might have taken me 30+ years to figure out, but i'm not the biggest loser or most pittyfull human bieng to ever heave walked the earth, I'm different than the masses and nothing is wrong with that, If anyone thinks it is that surely isn't my problem.

2016 was a year of finallity, making some tough decissions and placing demands upon my boss for the first time in my life was long overdue, and just 2 weeks ago finally getting my diploma eventhough I finished the last exams over 6 months ago.

All together 2016 was a year of personal growth, starting to stick up for my self and the things I want out of life, learning to let things go instead of reflecting every bad thing back upon myself, I'll hope to take those newfound qualities with me into 2017 and way beond, building upon them and exploring new possibilities, being open and accepting of whatever lies ahead.

People suck, even the ones that know this

constant stranger said:

On the down side, she's delusional......so most of what she thinks is going on around here, isn't really happening....but it's still wrong.

I can manage things but I'm not happy.  At all.  I'm not sure how much longer I can keep doing it.

Click to expand...

Cripes. I remember having to care of my dad who wasn't all there (along with mom) and it is a hell that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Is there any reason she isn't in a nursing home?  


You shouldn't be consigned to that. 

My mom was similarly obnoxious about not letting anyone in to help then one night she got drunk, called my brother and told him she fell, and he called the cops. (thought they would make it there before him) when the cops got there they read her and us the riot act but I suspect they didn't really mean it. I suspect it was all for her benefit. They threatened to report her to social services and a social service case would be opened and she would have social services visits if she didn't get help. 

That did it. She accepted help with open arms to avoid that. 

Not sure what the point of the story is but... thank god for those police. Maybe you could find a reason for them to show up to check CO2 alarms or something and do the faux act.

LonelySutton said:

constant stranger said:

On the down side, she's delusional......so most of what she thinks is going on around here, isn't really happening....but it's still wrong.

I can manage things but I'm not happy.  At all.  I'm not sure how much longer I can keep doing it.

Click to expand...

Cripes. I remember having to care of my dad who wasn't all there (along with mom) and it is a hell that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Is there any reason she isn't in a nursing home?  


You shouldn't be consigned to that. 

My mom was similarly obnoxious about not letting anyone in to help then one night she got drunk, called my brother and told him she fell, and he called the cops. (thought they would make it there before him) when the cops got there they read her and us the riot act but I suspect they didn't really mean it. I suspect it was all for her benefit. They threatened to report her to social services and a social service case would be opened and she would have social services visits if she didn't get help. 

That did it. She accepted help with open arms to avoid that. 

Not sure what the point of the story is but... thank god for those police. Maybe you could find a reason for them to show up to check CO2 alarms or something and do the faux act.

Click to expand...

I committed myself to looking after her until she goes into the ground and I'm not quitting....yet.  Also, I'm committed to being more functional than any of the others in my dysfunctional family of lying, betraying, two-faced backstabbers.

And we live in the same house where I am responsible for the infrastructure.....CO2 alarms & etc.

But I appreciate the response, LS!