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Is this girl blind?
#31
It's easy to feel someone's being condescending when you don't want to face yourself. You'll get there. I have faith in you.
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#32
(01-03-2017, 01:52 AM)Restless soul Wrote: Callie, still sound very condescending in your posts. I realize you mean well.

Lol, if that's how you choose to interpret what I say, then that, too, is on you.
Want to talk?  Check out the CHAT ROOM Smile

[Image: 3b93b58015913ae344b9de645b2d2b2f.jpg]
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#33
(01-03-2017, 02:21 AM)AmytheTemperamental Wrote: It's easy to feel someone's being condescending when you don't want to face yourself. You'll get there. I have faith in you.

Thats deep.

Its ok. I can totally deal with that
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#34
Hey Restless, Happy New year!

I know this is very difficult for you, but you need to fight these urges stop putting so much value on other peoples oppinions and so little on your own. Learn from this experience, analyse what you did wrong and what you should have done, also reading the previous post I think that unmatching was the better of the two options, it would not have done you or her any good if you would have gone off on her like that.

If it had happened to me would I have found it strange? very probably, would I have felt insulted? maybe, can't realy say.
My answer would probably have been a simple "Nope, not me" either way.

You can't control the thoughts and actons of others, you can only control your own.
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#35
(01-03-2017, 03:43 AM)MisterLonely Wrote: Hey Restless, Happy New year!

I know this is very difficult for you, but you need to fight these urges stop putting so much value on other peoples oppinions and so little on your own. Learn from this experience, analyse what you did wrong and what you should have done, also reading the previous post I think that unmatching was the better of the two options, it would not have done you or her any good if you would have gone off on her like that.

If it had happened to me would I have found it strange? very probably, would I have felt insulted? maybe, can't realy say.
My answer would probably have been a simple "Nope, not me" either way.

You can't control the thoughts and actons of others, you can only control your own.

And happy new year to you too. Thanks for the reply.
And that is the upsetting part. She didn't mean it in a malcious way showing me who she thought was me. Just shows you how in the past I was mocked in a similar way with someone making fun of my looks. So the trigger is there.
And that fact is I still didnt think I looked like the guy. But it still hs that affect anytime I get that you look like so and so. Or was that you. Of course there are celebs that if they said I did look like It would not bother me. And I might agree. Just to show you that there are exceptions. Of course I never get compared to them. So not to sound anymore shallow or vain. I won't mention those celebrity names.

Here is actually a good example with my thinking.
Lets say you were always compared to a good looking celebrity right? Pick anyone. Lets say bradley cooper. And one day someone says you look like will farrel. Just an example.

So you would of course be annoyed by getting copmared to a less attractive celeb after all that time.
Wouldnt that skew your view of how you look after someone said you look like a totally diffrent celeb who you don't find appealing, attractive and not a compliment??
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#36
(01-03-2017, 03:50 AM)Restless soul Wrote:
(01-03-2017, 03:43 AM)MisterLonely Wrote: Hey Restless, Happy New year!

I know this is very difficult for you, but you need to fight these urges stop putting so much value on other peoples oppinions and so little on your own. Learn from this experience, analyse what you did wrong and what you should have done, also reading the previous post I think that unmatching was the better of the two options, it would not have done you or her any good if you would have gone off on her like that.

If it had happened to me would I have found it strange? very probably, would I have felt insulted? maybe, can't realy say.
My answer would probably have been a simple "Nope, not me" either way.

You can't control the thoughts and actons of others, you can only control your own.

And happy new year to you too. Thanks for the reply.
And that is the upsetting part. She didn't mean it in a malcious way showing me who she thought was me. Just shows you how in the past I was mocked in a similar way with someone making fun of my looks. So the trigger is there.
And that fact is I still didnt think I looked like the guy. But it still hs that affect anytime I get that you look like so and so. Or was that you. Of course there are celebs that if they said I did look like It would not bother me. And I might agree. Just to show you that there are exceptions. Of course I never get compared to them. So not to sound anymore shallow or vain. I won't mention those celebrity names.

There is a red thread running through the very core of all your topics it seems, and I know this has been said before, but I realy wish you'd find a way to deal with that past and put it behind you.

You know your reaction wasn't right, and your obviously pissed off at yourself for the way you handled it, but at that time it triggers a memory and you act on autopilot, not thinking clearly untill after the fact when you had the chance to calm down. And at that point you regret your actions and feel resentment towards yourself for it

It can be very difficult in situations that aggravate you, but you need to come back to yourself before doing anything in this kind of situation.
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#37
(01-03-2017, 04:09 AM)MisterLonely Wrote:
(01-03-2017, 03:50 AM)Restless soul Wrote:
(01-03-2017, 03:43 AM)MisterLonely Wrote: Hey Restless, Happy New year!

I know this is very difficult for you, but you need to fight these urges stop putting so much value on other peoples oppinions and so little on your own. Learn from this experience, analyse what you did wrong and what you should have done, also reading the previous post I think that unmatching was the better of the two options, it would not have done you or her any good if you would have gone off on her like that.

If it had happened to me would I have found it strange? very probably, would I have felt insulted? maybe, can't realy say.
My answer would probably have been a simple "Nope, not me" either way.

You can't control the thoughts and actons of others, you can only control your own.

And happy new year to you too. Thanks for the reply.
And that is the upsetting part. She didn't mean it in a malcious way showing me who she thought was me. Just shows you how in the past I was mocked in a similar way with someone making fun of my looks. So the trigger is there.
And that fact is I still didnt think I looked like the guy. But it still hs that affect anytime I get that you look like so and so. Or was that you. Of course there are celebs that if they said I did look like It would not bother me. And I might agree. Just to show you that there are exceptions. Of course I never get compared to them. So not to sound anymore shallow or vain. I won't mention those celebrity names.

There is a red thread running through the very core of all your topics it seems, and I know this has been said before, but I realy wish you'd find a way to deal with that past and put it behind you.

You know your reaction wasn't right, and your obviously pissed off at yourself for the way you handled it, but at that time it triggers a memory and you act on autopilot, not thinking clearly untill after the fact when you had the chance to calm down. And at that point you regret your actions and feel resentment towards yourself for it

It can be very difficult in situations that aggravate you, but you need to come back to yourself before doing anything in this kind of situation.

Ok. I agree. And this due to a combination of things. What is the red thread? Mean common theme? What about the celebrtiy example I gave. That is a big part of why I react that way? I would like to hear what you think on that example
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#38
(01-03-2017, 04:16 AM)Restless soul Wrote:
(01-03-2017, 04:09 AM)MisterLonely Wrote:
(01-03-2017, 03:50 AM)Restless soul Wrote:
(01-03-2017, 03:43 AM)MisterLonely Wrote: Hey Restless, Happy New year!

I know this is very difficult for you, but you need to fight these urges stop putting so much value on other peoples oppinions and so little on your own. Learn from this experience, analyse what you did wrong and what you should have done, also reading the previous post I think that unmatching was the better of the two options, it would not have done you or her any good if you would have gone off on her like that.

If it had happened to me would I have found it strange? very probably, would I have felt insulted? maybe, can't realy say.
My answer would probably have been a simple "Nope, not me" either way.

You can't control the thoughts and actons of others, you can only control your own.

And happy new year to you too. Thanks for the reply.
And that is the upsetting part. She didn't mean it in a malcious way showing me who she thought was me. Just shows you how in the past I was mocked in a similar way with someone making fun of my looks. So the trigger is there.
And that fact is I still didnt think I looked like the guy. But it still hs that affect anytime I get that you look like so and so. Or was that you. Of course there are celebs that if they said I did look like It would not bother me. And I might agree. Just to show you that there are exceptions. Of course I never get compared to them. So not to sound anymore shallow or vain. I won't mention those celebrity names.

There is a red thread running through the very core of all your topics it seems, and I know this has been said before, but I realy wish you'd find a way to deal with that past and put it behind you.

You know your reaction wasn't right, and your obviously pissed off at yourself for the way you handled it, but at that time it triggers a memory and you act on autopilot, not thinking clearly untill after the fact when you had the chance to calm down. And at that point you regret your actions and feel resentment towards yourself for it

It can be very difficult in situations that aggravate you, but you need to come back to yourself before doing anything in this kind of situation.

Ok. I agree. And this due to a combination of things. What is the red thread? Mean common theme? What about the celebrtiy example I gave. That is a big part of why I react that way? I would like to hear what you think on that example

With a red thread I mean something that connects them all, a common theme works.

As for the celebrity example I wouldn't know what to say, it's flathering to be compared to a celeb, especially a good looking one. But that is also subjective, some people think Johnny Depp is dreamy, others think he's creapy, it's completly subjective so I wouldn't dwell on it too much, personally I don't think I compare to any celeb myself, but I might have a bit off a warped image of myself... or so I've been told atleast Toungue
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#39
My point with the celebrity also has to do with someones
Mental image how they look. After being compared to a good looking celeb ( in thier head )then once compared to a celeb they don't consider to be good looking. Well. That causes thier whole mental image to change. To feel diffrent about how they look. Makes sense??
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#40
(01-03-2017, 07:24 AM)Restless soul Wrote: My point with the celebrity also has to do with someones
Mental image how they look. After being compared to a good looking celeb ( in thier head )then once compared to a celeb they don't consider to be good looking.  Well. That causes thier whole mental image to change. To feel diffrent about how they look. Makes sense??

Who are we talking about here? It can go both ways, if your compared with someone you think isn't that good looking, they might be pleasently suprised when meeting you, and the reverse is also possible
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