I'm so tried sometimes with everything

Don't worry, this is not an  "I am going to off myself" post, but merely me trying to mitigate my rage. 

I'm the nice guy, throughout most of my life, this is how people see me - a resource to use when it's comfortable for them and it 
drives me insane, as If my mere existence is to please the ass holes in my life. 
Just yesterday, I started a new job and 1 of my acquaintances(who claims to be my friend) gave me a call bashing me for not taking on his offer to join him 
at his office,  and then someone else started to ask me some help after not even giving me a freaking phone call for years, asking me to help find a job, and there also the women in the past that screwed me over....

Yesterday I got so mad that when the third guy asking for some honeysuckle called me, I told him "Listen to me, I am in emotional roller coaster for the last few months, I nearly lost my mom few months ago, a woman played me for a year, I left my job and I'm getting professional help so fix your on **** problem and leave me the fresia alone" 

all of the sudden that guy was so into helping me out, he is a good friend of mine but still it gets me out of my mind knowing that I need to be furious and depressed till people around me give me a ******* break and seek others for help, fresia. 
sorry about the rant guys, I just can't help it anymore, I'm sick of people using me  .

I've been in the same 'sick of it' mindset all day today.  I've visualized walking away from my life (in various ways) all day. 

There was a messy incident with my 92 yr old mother that I had to clean up at about 12:30 last night, and this morning she was sulking and pouting about how I'm the bad guy.  I wait on her hand and foot and I'm sick of it.

My life is awful and there's no help for me and it's been going on for years and drastic measures of getting away from it just keep coming into my head.

I hope your new job works out well for you.

constant stranger said:

My life is awful and there's no help for me and it's been going on for years and drastic measures of getting away from it just keep coming into my head.

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Not to harp on this but I think you will have to consider going back on your pledge and either putting her in a nursing home or some sort of a assisted living.  It won't get better.  It isn't also completely a selfish or not issue. At a certain point you won't be able to handle the situation. 

I'm sick of people using me  

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This is all I get these days. I have mostly withdrawn from people but they literally burst into my office. With my door shut. I am considering locking my door.

I totally understand what you mean - it's a horrible realisation and evermore irritating as time goes on. It seems like this is really amassing on you. As general and overused as this may sound, I truly think that if you took some time-off, did something that you enjoy to relax yourself - empty out all the frustration you've been bearing - you'll feel much better afterwards

roy1986 said:

sorry about the rant guys, I just can't help it anymore, I'm sick of people using me  .

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No, don't be sorry at all. Did writing all this down help you in some way? If it did - great! Sometimes you just get so fed up that you reach your limit and you can take no more.

Best of luck to you and you know what? Keep it up. You are doing good. You got someone to finally listen to you.

BeyondShy said:

roy1986 said:

sorry about the rant guys, I just can't help it anymore, I'm sick of people using me  .

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No, don't be sorry at all. Did writing all this down help you in some way? If it did - great! Sometimes you just get so fed up that you reach your limit and you can take no more.

Best of luck to you and you know what? Keep it up. You are doing good. You got someone to finally listen to you.

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thx guys, It's just so hard sometimes and I have many worries about my new job, also I'm not the kind of guy who makes friends easily so being the new guy at my new work, I feel very much alone. 
At my last job, it had taken me months until I got the urge to really talk to people on things which are not related to work and I was 26 and not suffering from depression back then. 

I try to be more friendly but after the last year I'm so over protective so I won''t get hurt by people.  


It's not like I'm asking god to make me happy, I just want to feel fine and It has been like this for so long and I don't think anyone gets me, yeah I know very teenager of me (and I'm 30) but I really feel that it's true .
People with partners  , kids , and overall rich social life , look at me and think oh wow this guy is all by himself then who cares if I make him feel like honeysuckle, and I'm sick of it.

roy1986 said:

BeyondShy said:

roy1986 said:

sorry about the rant guys, I just can't help it anymore, I'm sick of people using me  .

Click to expand...

No, don't be sorry at all. Did writing all this down help you in some way? If it did - great! Sometimes you just get so fed up that you reach your limit and you can take no more.

Best of luck to you and you know what? Keep it up. You are doing good. You got someone to finally listen to you.

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thx guys, It's just so hard sometimes and I have many worries about my new job, also I'm not the kind of guy who makes friends easily so being the new guy at my new work, I feel very much alone. 
At my last job, it had taken me months until I got the urge to really talk to people on things which are not related to work and I was 26 and not suffering from depression back then. 

I try to be more friendly but after the last year I'm so over protective so I won''t get hurt by people.  


It's not like I'm asking god to make me happy, I just want to feel fine and It has been like this for so long and I don't think anyone gets me, yeah I know very teenager of me (and I'm 30) but I really feel that it's true .
People with partners  , kids , and overall rich social life , look at me and think oh wow this guy is all by himself then who cares if I make him feel like honeysuckle, and I'm sick of it.

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Do what makes you feel comfortable to do for others and try to have some boundaries. It's a great feeling and great to do good for others but you need to take care of you and if someone is a true friend they will return the favor by listening to your feelings. 

I don't understand why people make a big deal if someone is single or look down on it. No one should crap on you for that or treat you differently.

I would say stop doing favors for these people immediately. If they try to ask you to do them a favor or listen to some problem, just say you're can't. If you still want to talk to them, I'd say do it only when you feel like it. Keep things on your terms. Maybe even try to get them to do favors for you instead.