Does this describe your sort of loneliness?

A while back I found this brilliantly worded post on Quora, which I can almost entirely relate too. Does this post connect as deeply with anyone else here?

It seems like this person is letting their feelings dictate their lives. The last paragraph is what really stands out, before that it just sounded like dismissive behavior with isolation traits - something that I think most introverts are used to, at least I went through some more extreme isolation phases in my life. But in the last paragraph... those are all feelings and no rationality. It doesn't matter who thinks you're crazy, if the emotional instability is there and hurts you - you change, you evolve, you work on it. Those are behavioral attributes, not a set way that someone is wired, not a tragic flaw, it's the way one perceives the world and that is very subjective to your own state of mind and also very volatile.


To answer the question: no, it doesn't.

DarkSelene said:

But in the last paragraph... those are all feelings and no rationality. It doesn't matter who thinks you're crazy, if the emotional instability is there and hurts you - you change, you evolve, you work on it. Those are behavioral attributes, not a set way that someone is wired, not a tragic flaw, it's the way one perceives the world and that is very subjective to your own state of mind and also very volatile.

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I think this is incredibly easy to say, but when you try act out life with that in mind you'll come to see that simply stating that everything is subjective to your own state of mind doesn't satisfy the problems you are facing.

If you aim to get to a certain goal, approach it in numerous ways and see that not a single approach is resulting in success, you need to start questioning whether the fault truly is simply in the approach. I don't think dismissing the presence of rational thought would be entirely correct. This emotional instability you dub isn't bane of the problems, it's the constant inability developing a sound relationship with anyone. 

you change, you evolve, you work on it

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Why would you change / evolve / work on something if it's perfectly fine in the first place? You wouldn't right? If a single aspect of your personality, of your existence is the problem then sure it's easy to change that. If that helps in overcoming the problems then you are infact fixing a flaw within yourself. If every aspect of you is the issue then concluding that you are flawed as an individual isn't anything incorrect to state, nor does it seem to be a statement fuelled through blind emotion. These "behavioural attributes" are the set of characteristic traits that define how a person interacts with another. People who Asperger or ASD, their "behavioural attributes" are in some regard wired. They perceive things different, communicate differently. No matter how much you suggest they "change and evolve",  it is very unlikely that they will be able to adapt and begin communicating like the average person.
That said, ruling out that emotion doesn't play a part here wouldn't be right. Of course it does, it in the face of hopelessness and desperation you can easily come to conclusions that give you mental peace.

If it's "perfectly fine," why do you connect to that link you posted so much? Clearly something is wrong. Figure it out, change it, work on it, or evolve yourself to let it not bother you.

As for your ASD scenario, while they may not be the "average" person, they, too, can adapt if they want to. And how exactly does an "average" person communicate. I'd say there are plenty of "average" people (as you call them) here that have a lot of problems communicating. Are they better or worse than someone on the spectrum? Sorry, but no, I call bullshit on that one.

I can relate to all of it. That part about romanticising relationships, reconnecting with person, only to end up realising that it was a wasted effort? Oof, that was a punch to the gut.

dokidoki said:

I think this is incredibly easy to say, but when you try act out life with that in mind you'll come to see that simply stating that everything is subjective to your own state of mind doesn't satisfy the problems you are facing.

If you aim to get to a certain goal, approach it in numerous ways and see that not a single approach is resulting in success, you need to start questioning whether the fault truly is simply in the approach. I don't think dismissing the presence of rational thought would be entirely correct. This emotional instability you dub isn't bane of the problems, it's the constant inability developing a sound relationship with anyone. 

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The emotional instability is what makes people judge this person as crazy and that's one of the reasons why he feels outcasted. 
Everything is subjective to your state of mind but you're correct, sometimes the problem isn't in the approach. This man never said he changed his approach, he said he changes his mind. The reason why he develops no valuable, last longing relationships is stated in his first paragraph and established in the third one: "[font=q_serif, Georgia, Times,] Every time a conflict came up, I decided to move forward and leave that person behind instead of choosing to have a friend and compromise in some way."[/font]

dokidoki said:

Why would you change / evolve / work on something if it's perfectly fine in the first place? You wouldn't right? If a single aspect of your personality, of your existence is the problem then sure it's easy to change that. If that helps in overcoming the problems then you are infact fixing a flaw within yourself. If every aspect of you is the issue then concluding that you are flawed as an individual isn't anything incorrect to state, nor does it seem to be a statement fuelled through blind emotion. These "behavioural attributes" are the set of characteristic traits that define how a person interacts with another. People who Asperger or ASD, their "behavioural attributes" are in some regard wired. They perceive things different, communicate differently. No matter how much you suggest they "change and evolve",  it is very unlikely that they will be able to adapt and begin communicating like the average person.
That said, ruling out that emotion doesn't play a part here wouldn't be right. Of course it does, it in the face of hopelessness and desperation you can easily come to conclusions that give you mental peace.

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Tragic flaw is the expression this person used. If you believe it is a flaw, you believe you're in some way defective, you can change that for yourself but in no way this is tragic. 
I'm not getting into the ASD thing because it's irrelevant since this person hasn't stated he's in the spectrum. But Aspies can adapt and mirror behaviors that they find more "natural" or that would appeal better to the "average person", doesn't mean they think their behavior is flawed. 
If all you look for is mental peace and you're not in the business of working what you perceive as a flaw, you'll have to change your state of mind. Accept that you prefer to be alone, that you don't want to socialize or work on interactions/relationships. 
Change, evolve and work on something that is hurting you. If it is perfectly fine, why would you complain about it?

I tried to stick to all the expressions the writer used. If you wish to be pedantic, just read what you posted.

Well, I walk through the world now with the big H on my chest, reminding me that I was homeless. Once the good people of the world label you, that's what you are regardless. Don't believe me? Try to "change and evolve " out of the label hung around your neck, you'll see how hard those good people resist your efforts. I'm not saying personal growth and change are unimportant, just don't discount the desire of society at large to keep you in your place. It's called a struggle for a reason.