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Does anyone else have this issue with online dating
#11
(01-11-2017, 10:20 AM)EmilyFoxSeaton Wrote: So I foolishly decided to sign up for POF. I have long sworn off online dating.  When I last did online dating I was under pressure to get married and have a kid. And now, that ship has largely sailed so I am doing anything now is just for me. So I figured it might be a different story. 

But I was reminded again that I have some sort of photographic dissonance with regard to online dating. Almost every guy on there, their photo repulses me. I am starting to think it is an issue only with the online dating format. Or in other words if you sat me down and showed me a series of total strangers I would find them all ugly.  But if I somehow knew them or knew of them or had seen them talk or just seen them walk in a room, I wouldn't find them ugly and or scary. 

But if say I knew the person without a photo for weeks and liked them or (just didn't hate them) if you showed me the photo then I would think it was just fine.

When I was online dating I didn't judge too harshly on the photos. Pretty much most people I met did not look like their photo. One person even went as far to use a celebrity's photo because he felt they had a striking resemblance (no he did not). Some people photograph better/ worse than their real self. In straight-on photos, my face is noticeably asymmetrical. In person, it isn't to most people (I hope). 

If you don't like their photo - that's fine. I certainly don't like my own haha. Are you comfortable with meeting some dates despite that?
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#12
(01-14-2017, 04:09 PM)Northern Lights Wrote: If you don't like their photo - that's fine. I certainly don't like my own haha. Are you comfortable with meeting some dates despite that?

It is kind of more frustrating than that because a negative photo can turn me off them as a person.  It is like that image extrapolates on to their personality and then it is hard to recover from that.   So someone who could be a good match for me might not be selected because of the image that the photo puts out there. 

I have decided to try not to look at the photos and just go on the results of the searches which match me.
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#13
You can try dating sites like Okcupid or eHarmony (this one is paid though) and try going on dates with those that have a high compatibility rating. Good luck...!
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#14
(01-11-2017, 10:20 AM)EmilyFoxSeaton Wrote: So I foolishly decided to sign up for POF. I have long sworn off online dating.  When I last did online dating I was under pressure to get married and have a kid. And now, that ship has largely sailed so I am doing anything now is just for me. So I figured it might be a different story. 

But I was reminded again that I have some sort of photographic dissonance with regard to online dating. Almost every guy on there, their photo repulses me. I am starting to think it is an issue only with the online dating format. Or in other words if you sat me down and showed me a series of total strangers I would find them all ugly.  But if I somehow knew them or knew of them or had seen them talk or just seen them walk in a room, I wouldn't find them ugly and or scary. 

But if say I knew the person without a photo for weeks and liked them or (just didn't hate them) if you showed me the photo then I would think it was just fine.

Actually this is not anything "wired", you are judging according to more important things that how somebody looks like, so if you ask me this is god, and sooner or later on that way you will find right person.
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#15
I was on POF for several years.
Met maybe 4 girls, out of the maybe 20 that actually ended up showing up. One was nice, the other three were, pardon the expression, batshit crazy. The last popped me the question after 2 weeks of dating, so I ran away....
Spent most of my subsequent time on the forums chatting with people.
Overall, it was bull.
Most of the "good" sites you have to pay for. I find you'd find better quality people than all those damaged ones at the local department store.
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