Am I overthinking again??

So the barista in starbucks confused me by name with another guy that comes into starbucks. Someone I know and even talk to. And as you know from my previous threads I have a deep insecuritity with being compared to others physically.  The guy I was compared to I actually befriended in starbucks. But I hate to sounds vain but for the purpose of explaing my issue here I have to. So this guy is a nice guy. Older than me. And the only way I see us looking  like is physique. He is about the same height and slim like me. And I consider myself better looking

Other than that. I wear the same freaking clothes to statbucks every day and a cap. .....So. should I obbsess?
And again I am having a breakdown over a comparison, comfusion. Mix up? I hate this

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Restless soul said:

So the barista in starbucks confused me by name with another guy that comes into starbucks. Someone I know and even talk to. And as you know from my previous threads I have a deep insecuritity with being compared to others physically.  The guy I was compared to I actually befriended in starbucks. But I hate to sounds vain but for the purpose of explaing my issue here I have to. So this guy is a nice guy. Older than me. And the only way I see us looking  like is physique. He is about the same height and slim like me. And I consider myself better looking

Other than that. I wear the same freaking clothes to statbucks every day and a cap. .....So. should I obbsess?
And again I am having a breakdown over a comparison, comfusion. Mix up? I hate this

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And then he said when I asked why he thinks we look alike.  He said maybe it's the hair. How can he tell. I wear a cap. The other guy doesn't and my hair is long

I had a similar situation happen to me! And I felt the same. The other person was very plain and not very attractive so I wondered if that's how the world perceived me...

But after awhile I thought about it and I don't think it's likely. I think it has to do more with how people remember things and what their brain registers when filing data. 

Funny though, I still remember that exact feeling! 

I try to remember that people see ( me ) us as a whole and not in details we see ourselves. 

Inmyhead said:

I had a similar situation happen to me! And I felt the same. The other person was very plain and not very attractive so I wondered if that's how the world perceived me...

But after awhile I thought about it and I don't think it's likely. I think it has to do more with how people remember things and what their brain registers when filing data. 

Funny though, I still remember that exact feeling! 

I try to remember that people see ( me ) us as a whole and not in details we see ourselves. 

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Well your name certainly suits this topic. It's an ongoing theme of mine. Usually low-self image. Self-esteem. Pick any low and I have it. Would be the root cause. 

Forget about being compared to someone you don't think you look like. The barista in starbucks saw me, and the other guy plenty of times to know I am not him. And i wear the same clothes every day. Hmmmm? You think this is also why subconsciously i might wear the same clothes every day??

Curious??  Anyone?

No

TheRealCallie said:

No

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Hi callie. Can you elaborate. And what I can finally do about this?

Restless soul said:

Hi callie. Can you elaborate. And what I can finally do about this?

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Restless soul said:

Curious??  Anyone?

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TheRealCallie said:

No

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Better?

TheRealCallie said:

Restless soul said:

Hi callie. Can you elaborate. And what I can finally do about this?

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Restless soul said:

Curious??  Anyone?

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TheRealCallie said:

No

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Better?

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Ok. Well regarding the ongoing issue. Can you elaborate as how to end it. Fix it. Finally

"He is about the same height and slim like me."

You're obsessing to obsess. Knock it off. And it's still not OCD

TheRealCallie said:

"He is about the same height and slim like me."

You're obsessing to obsess.  Knock it off.  And it's still not OCD

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Why be rude? Yes I did admit he is a similair build. That is where the simisimilarities end. So?? Why shouldn't the worker be able to tell the difference?

OMFG, dude just go to a McDonald's drive-through to get your coffee.  The chances are slim to none...and slim left the building... that someone will say you look like someone else.  

I'm sure there are thousands of blind people out there that would trade places with you in a heartbeat and not give a rat's ass if someone told one of them they looked like someone else.  They would just be happy to see the world around them.

beautiful loser said:

OMFG, dude just go to a McDonald's drive-through to get your coffee.  The chances are slim to none...and slim left the building... that someone will say you look like someone else.  

I'm sure there are thousands of blind people out there that would trade places with you in a heartbeat and not give a rat's ass if someone told one of them they looked like someone else.  They would just be happy to see the world around them.

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So now you are encouraging the avoidant part of my personality by saying avoid strabucks and go to mcddonalds drive thru. But...why do you have ti use blind people to make a point that is an extreme example.

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Restless soul said:

beautiful loser said:

OMFG, dude just go to a McDonald's drive-through to get your coffee.  The chances are slim to none...and slim left the building... that someone will say you look like someone else.  

I'm sure there are thousands of blind people out there that would trade places with you in a heartbeat and not give a rat's ass if someone told one of them they looked like someone else.  They would just be happy to see the world around them.

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So now you are encouraging the avoidant part of my personality by saying avoid strabucks and go to mcddonalds drive thru. But...why do you have ti use blind people to make a point that is an extreme example.

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I don't post here for sarcastic replies from you and callie. I post to try to hear advice how to overcome such things

I got scared for a min. Thought I was banned. For what I don't kniwk know

Restless soul said:

TheRealCallie said:

"He is about the same height and slim like me."

You're obsessing to obsess.  Knock it off.  And it's still not OCD

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Why be rude? Yes I did admit he is a similair build. That is where the simisimilarities end. So?? Why shouldn't the worker be able to tell the difference?

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It's not rude.  You are obsessing, you do need to knock it off and it's still not OCD.

From a glance you DO resemble each other if you have the same build, why should the worker have to give more than a glance when he's doing his job?  

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You have advice on every **** one of your threads. You seem to throw the advice out because it's not what you want to hear.

TheRealCallie said:

Restless soul said:

TheRealCallie said:

"He is about the same height and slim like me."

You're obsessing to obsess.  Knock it off.  And it's still not OCD

Click to expand...

Why be rude? Yes I did admit he is a similair build. That is where the simisimilarities end. So?? Why shouldn't the worker be able to tell the difference?

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It's not rude.  You are obsessing, you do need to knock it off and it's still not OCD.

From a glance you DO resemble each other if you have the same build, why should the worker have to give more than a glance when he's doing his job?  

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You have advice on every **** one of your threads.  You seem to throw the advice out because it's not what you want to hear.

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Well. Maybe i need new techniques and for it to be drilled into my head.  So what is your short answer for today. How not to be upset and about being confused with this other guy who doesn't look like me? My main problem when I post about this topic usually is..does that mean he must look like me if this guy confused us? Is that what I have to believe now. That is all I want to know..can you answer that?

My stepson told me tonight that my brother looks like me.
The only resemblance between us is that we both have dark hair and dark eyes. So do millions of other people. We share no similar facial features. So, the barista likely doesn't actually give you (and the other guy) anything more than a passing glance when he takes your order. I doubt he's comparing you to him.

EveWasFramed said:

My stepson told me tonight that my brother looks like me.
The only resemblance between us is that we both have dark hair and dark eyes. So do millions of other people. We share no similar facial features. So, the barista likely doesn't actually give you (and the other guy) anything more than a passing glance when he takes your order. I doubt he's comparing you to him.

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Ok being compared to family I had my issues with that in the past. But, then again its more logical. Its family so. But he called me the other guys name. And, he said we look a alike .
Now since I know the guy and assumed who he meant. Because the other guy is tall and slim. Thats why I figured he must have meant him. Other than that? Why cocouldn't he tell??

Restless soul said:

EveWasFramed said:

My stepson told me tonight that my brother looks like me.
The only resemblance between us is that we both have dark hair and dark eyes. So do millions of other people. We share no similar facial features. So, the barista likely doesn't actually give you (and the other guy) anything more than a passing glance when he takes your order. I doubt he's comparing you to him.

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Ok being compared to family I had my issues with that in the past. But, then again its more logical. Its family so. But he called me the other guys name. And, he said we look a alike .
Now since I know the guy and assumed who he meant. Because the other guy is tall and slim. Thats why I figured he must have meant him. Other than that? Why cocouldn't he tell??

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lol...because he's doing his job!! He's not paying close attention to faces, as evidenced by him not being able to really pinpoint why he confused the two of you.

Just to touch on the family thing. I have one brother who i dont consider that good looking and then another who I think is. Both older. And when I got compared to the not good looking one, meaning people saying we look alike. It upset me. Natrually right?
Because I didn't think he was good looking. are you following where I am going here? But there were times when recently where i got compared to my better looking brother ( also more successful) and that made me feel good of course? So you see my issue with being upset about being compared with someone
I don't view as good looking can be seen here with family as a perfect example. And it should also make perfect sense?

Restless soul said:

Just to touch on the family thing. I have one brother who i dont consider that good looking and then another who I think is. Both older. And when I got compared to the not good looking one, meaning people saying we look alike. It upset me. Natrually right?
Because I didn't think he was good looking. are you following where I am going here? But there were times when recently where i got compared to my better looking brother ( also more successful) and that made me feel good of course? So you see my issue with being upset about being compared with someone
I don't view as good looking can be seen here with family as a perfect example. And it should also make perfect sense?

Click to expand...

Similar facial features doesnt equate to good looking or not good looking, per se. 
I've seen plenty of families that share similar features but some of them have faces that are more symmetrical than their siblings. So "looking alike" doesn't always equate to being of equal "handsomeness" or equal lack of symmetry. 
So to answer your original question, yes I think you're overthinking it.

EveWasFramed said:

Restless soul said:

Just to touch on the family thing. I have one brother who i dont consider that good looking and then another who I think is. Both older. And when I got compared to the not good looking one, meaning people saying we look alike. It upset me. Natrually right?
Because I didn't think he was good looking. are you following where I am going here? But there were times when recently where i got compared to my better looking brother ( also more successful) and that made me feel good of course? So you see my issue with being upset about being compared with someone
I don't view as good looking can be seen here with family as a perfect example. And it should also make perfect sense?

Click to expand...

Similar facial features doesnt equate to good looking or not good looking, per se. 
I've seen plenty of families that share similar features but some of them have faces that are more symmetrical than their siblings. So "looking alike" doesn't always equate to being of equal "handsomeness" or equal lack of symmetry. 
So to answer your original question, yes I think you're overthinking it.

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Ok. Thats a good answer. But the guy in starbucks must be blind or need to get eyeglasses.