I'm back here= Another failed oportunity.

I've spent months trying to sort my life out. I've spent my life trying to sort my life out, but I think I'm making progress. Just as I make progress in life (I have a job, keeping up with hobbies etc), I meet a girl. I like a girl, I get strong feelings. Then they move on before I get the chance to progress my feelings to any level. I never get past the friend stage. 

I'm so sick of this cycle because even when I know I should not get attatched, I do. They are never into me in that way, no matter how promising it seems. It's so depressing. I need to know the balance of not trying anymore (giving up on having a relationship) and trying enough to seem like I'm available. I'd want nothing more than a relationship, but don't want to seem desperate. 

I get defeated too much to care anymore. I just become more bitter and nihilistic with each failed attempt at love or even a relationship. I've tried being patient, confident, 'bad', 'hard to get'. I just don't think it should be like that if there's some kind of mutual interest. 

Everyone has their goals they want to reach, rushing through life. I just don't want to rush through my life bitterly, never falling in love again and just focusing on a career because I would hate to miss another chance at love. It kills me thinking that I would miss out. I get depressed nearly every night and it feels like I'm on my deathbed or something and I've wasted all my time and everyone else's.

I read these posts and I shake my head. You are still so young! Don't throw in the towel on dating yet. Big advice here: don't try playing any games such as hard to get or the bad boy. ( you already figured that out though ) Seriously, just be yourself. I get the urgency in young people with finding love but from an older perspective I can assure you you have loads of time! Try just living in the moment and being happy with who you are. Confidence is a huge factor. Keep putting yourself out there but change the end goal. If you end up friends, stay friends and you've just expanded your circle of potential women to meet.

I hope you feel better. Don't lose hope. You never know what tomorrow brings

I understand that I'm fairly young, but I don't feel young inside. Nobody ever does when they're depressed. It's never a factor. I just think how fast time will fly and I will be the same lonely self just older each year and each year less likely to succeed.

Confidence always seems fake to me. I am fundamentally confident enough. I don't feel the need to exert more confidence in order to compete with others.  It either attracts the wrong types or I come across too confident I.e. arrogant. So the balance is hard to find. The thing I tend to struggle with is progressing it to the next stage. Like when does flirting happen from worry about over stepping the mark?

Thanks for the reply though, I always appreciate outside thoguhts, it declutters the brain. Simplcity is key I think. "Just live in the moment" I like that, since I tend to overthink too much.

"Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve "
And I can say ,you deserve happiness in your life.

I really relate to you, when you say you feel you have tried everything.

For me as a woman I've tried it all over the years... loose weight/gain weight, lots of make up/no make up, change hair colour: blonde, brunnette, red, paint my nails, get a good job, get a hobby etc etc.... all those bloody hours in the gym!!! When I was younger I was all girl power, ask the guy out, then I read that you have to make the guy chase you, so was more stand offish. NOTHING works.

My ex basically said I "do not inspire love in men"

I have come to the conclusion, that we are completely powerless to make someone like us, so now I couldn't care less and mostly walk round dressed as a female tramp (not in the sexy sense, as in the homeless beggar sense) not that I need to, I have money to look nice, but no longer see the point. I was a real glamour puss... now I don't even bother washing lol!!!

Its easy to become bitter, most people who don't find love so go through times of bitterness, its natural.