TheRealCallie said:I'm not so sure hatred is something to aspire to. Perhaps find someone who overcome hatred and moved on from their problems?
Augusto said:TheRealCallie said:I'm not so sure hatred is something to aspire to. Perhaps find someone who overcome hatred and moved on from their problems?
You seem to never have serious issues within the family. If you do, you'd know how hard is it to find resources which don't blame young generation for everything.
EveWasFramed said:Augusto said:TheRealCallie said:I'm not so sure hatred is something to aspire to. Perhaps find someone who overcome hatred and moved on from their problems?
You seem to never have serious issues within the family. If you do, you'd know how hard is it to find resources which don't blame young generation for everything.
I wouldn't assume that just because she doesn't put her personal stuff out here, that she doesn't have troubles of her own. Most people do - just not everyone chooses to speak of it. And she makes a very good point about it not being productive to aspire to hatred.
How can you ever overcome the issue/hatred if that's all you're focused on? Shouldn't that be the goal? Overcoming and moving forward?
MisterLonely said:Don't hate you're parents, put your energy in creating some distance from them instead, that would be a more productive use of your energy and time
Augusto said:TheRealCallie said:I'm not so sure hatred is something to aspire to. Perhaps find someone who overcome hatred and moved on from their problems?
You seem to never have serious issues within the family. If you do, you'd know how hard is it to find resources which don't blame young generation for everything.
Augusto said:EveWasFramed said:Augusto said:TheRealCallie said:I'm not so sure hatred is something to aspire to. Perhaps find someone who overcome hatred and moved on from their problems?
You seem to never have serious issues within the family. If you do, you'd know how hard is it to find resources which don't blame young generation for everything.
I wouldn't assume that just because she doesn't put her personal stuff out here, that she doesn't have troubles of her own. Most people do - just not everyone chooses to speak of it. And she makes a very good point about it not being productive to aspire to hatred.
How can you ever overcome the issue/hatred if that's all you're focused on? Shouldn't that be the goal? Overcoming and moving forward?
I have single goal in this case - somehow to find a way how to distract myself from this dysfunctional family on emotional level, and move forward. I wish I know how it can be done, as most of people assume that younger generation has a duty to be cheerful and loyal to their parents no matter what happens. Not an easy mission...
Augusto said:Anyway, despite the comment by TheRealCallie I found some examples:
Abe Lincoln had so terrible relationships with his father, that he refused to see him when father was old and sick, and then also refused to visit the funeral. I like this example, as Lincoln is considered one of the greatest people ho 19th century.
Second example is Hitler who also had that bad relationships with father, that he unlikely was upset by his early death. With mother his relationships likely were also far from perfect. In case of personal achievements, this example is also not that bad.
Rodent said:I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you meant the ideal scenario of people who hated (past tense) their parents, but turned into high achievers either way and effectively freed themselves from the hatred or a desire for parental approval.
I did a bit of googling and I ended up with Alfred Kinsey, Paul Cezanne and Isaac Newton who all had at least a strenous relationship with one of their parents. It's not surprising that it's quite difficult to come up with infos on the parental relationship of historical figures, it's not something that enters the books. Easier to find modern day celebrities who are known for being in conflict with their parents but once you look them up you probably don't want to identity with them anymore.
It's actually hard to find people who had a seriously bad parental relationship and turned into high-achieving and reasonable human beings with no quirks or unhealthy behaviors (see DarkSelene's reference to serial killers).
PS: Arguably Hitler is more than just a "controversial figure", but judged purely by the scale of his impact on history he has to be deemed relevant.
Augusto said:"Unhealthy behavior" may vary Many successful people without parents-related problems also have it.
Rodent said:Augusto said:"Unhealthy behavior" may vary Many successful people without parents-related problems also have it.
Certainly, it is just one factor of many but I have no doubt it is an important one during child development. Especially in the early years when kids aren't exposed as much to their peers yet and learn to socially interact with a wider environment.
Wordy said:What problems are you having with your parents?
Robert Frost had a strict, ill tempered and abusive father but I think he feared his father more than he hated him.
Augusto said:Rodent said:Augusto said:"Unhealthy behavior" may vary Many successful people without parents-related problems also have it.
Certainly, it is just one factor of many but I have no doubt it is an important one during child development. Especially in the early years when kids aren't exposed as much to their peers yet and learn to socially interact with a wider environment.
Agree, but tensions with parents may occur much later, say during teens, when a person adopts set of values totally opposite to one their parents have, and the latter start to push against it by any means, without any desire to compromise. So as a result there will be hatred within family, but no early childhood trauma.
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