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TheAnxiousPain

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Im 24, and moving to NYC in the morning I am here waiting to catch the greyhound. I will be 25 next month, and here I am with nothing. I look back at all the time I wasted, all the failed attempts and how I accumulated so much negative thinking. I have no love life, no friends and wasted so much time worrying and being depressed. I will be starting college at 25, and feel so Old and not that I am naive or doesnt have sense, because I feel I am really street, book and commonly smart... I have learned a lot. But will i meet friends? Will I be able to go on in life as nothing happened? I dont know what kids ahead of me and its bugging me. i feel I am more open than I was before, I talk to people and isn't afraid to have interest. .where before I thought I wasnt normal, my family made me feel like I was a low life and held me back from a lot of things. I feel scared and feel like how do I begin at 25.
 
It's normal to feel the way you do and it may or may not get easier when you get there.  One important thing to try and do is not let it get you down, it might take time to make friends and get settled in to your new life.  Thing is, this is also and exciting time for you, you do get to begin again at 25, you're still young and I won't be surprised if you find people there older than you who are beginning their lives.  I remember when I was in high school there was a woman who enrolled who was an full grown adult, can't remember exactly how old she was, I'm thinking thirties for some reason.  She didn't have her high school diploma and she needed it to get a decent job.  Looking back at that now I can't help but wonder how scared she must have been.  High school is hard enough for teenagers let alone an adult.  Thing is she did it and made it through a second go of high school.  It wasn't easy for her, she did get teased by students but she just put on a brave face and pushed through.  I'm sure she went home after and had a good cry.  Sometimes that's what you just have to do, get through it and have a good cry after to get it all out.  

When I was 29 going on 30 I moved to a new town and it was frightening and some days I just wanted to give up.  after eight and a half years things fell apart and I have to start all over again but it sure was an interesting chapter of my life.  Just as this will be for you and it will be what you make of it whether it be good or bad, hopefully more good than bad.


Anyways, good luck to you.
 
I did not go to a university until I was 25, so I know how it feels. The whole college experience is different when you are older. I did not have the social life in college I had always imagined when I was in high school, but there were good people I met and some of them were even my age or older, and though I did not think it at the time, they and some good teachers made it worth it. Just have courage that if you do your best, everything will work out. Good luck.
 
You'll be a few years older than most of the other students but you'll be in the same generation.....listened to the same music, grew up with the same news breaking on the media, speaking the same cultural language. I'm betting that being 25 will be a lot more of an asset than a liability. OK that's the age difference thing....in my opinion.

As to the negative thinking, that's another story. If it was me I'd try and put my personal problems on hold, use the defense mechanism of suppression.......temporarily.....and concentrate on accomplishing the logistical tasks of relocating to NYC, starting college, locating the classrooms, adapting to whatever housing you'll be in and etc. etc. Get the logistics figured out and functioning first.....and then re-commence the whole (probably lifelong) task of creating who you want to be.

Come back to this site and report, OK?
 
Look at the positive: you are moving to NYC, one of the biggest cities in the world, and you ARE starting college despite the lateness, which is something a lot of people never get around to. I don't mean that in a "There's people worse off" sort of way, I mean that you should be proud of yourself for taking those steps.

As for failed attempts and wasted life... I can relate, and I honestly wish there was some way I could assure you that things will be fine. There isn't though. But, keep in mind on the other hand that you also don't know if it will go badly. I worried about this coming back to university this year, where I had literally no friends, not even anyone to contact on facebook or through text, that's how bad it was. And now suddenly, I have a great group of people around me. These things just happen man.

To calm you down, I will say that the group I'm with, eldest is 28 and youngest is 18, and we have everyone in between. It's NEVER been an issue for anyone. Just be cool, you don't even have to force yourself to be overly "open", but hang out, add your contribution of jokes or conversation points or interests when appropriate, and you'll be fine. I wish you the best of luck mate.
 
I'm sorry you feel like this at the moment and I hope in time you'll be able to sort things out and figure out what you want to do with your life. I'm 33 years old and I'm still not graduated from college yet. What your feeling right now is all completely normally, trust me. As for negative thinking, that can bring anyone down and cloud their judgement and thinking process. Hopefully when you go back to college you'll make friends again. Simply look forward to that. Think it's horrible how your family made you feel like you were a low life. If you still continue to feel low about yourself- try venting in a journal and reminding yourself everyday that you're a good person. Sometimes it's hard for other people to understand us or what were feeling.

Concentrate on your health which is most important and try to focus on the things you want to do when you go to college. So right now and I'm sure it's hard for you to focus on what's going to happen and what you want to accomplish in life. I'm still pretty scared myself to be honest. There's still things I need to learn in life. And if you need someone to talk too- pm me if you'd like.
 

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