Thread Rating:
  • 13 Vote(s) - 3.31 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Questions for the Men
HE is shy and waits for you to say nothing and you...? ans start maybe conversation about to know if you interested in what he is doing way to tell you what he is interesting and if you are...? maybe you can say watching movie or going to mall..? just an idea but if he ask is because interested, at least I would since you look very interesting young lady anyway, 
Ricardo nice to meet you
Reply
(05-08-2018, 08:51 PM)bleed_the_freak Wrote: Garrett was a tool. He should've known better.
...
What a total dipshit.

I feel like it's worth pointing out that people like Garret probably wouldn't know better because there isn't anyone around him that would know what to tell him.  People don't become like this because they want to - why would anyone want to be what doesn't work and leads to indefinite singledom?  And they don't become like this because they are inherently inferior.  They become like this because they don't know what to do and nobody they do know, knows either. He's doing what he's been taught, and has had no reason to doubt yet.  You could tell him to be more observant but that probably won't do much good if he doesn't know what to look for or why certain interests, behaviors, and personalities work better than others.  Not only that, but we also get a lot of confusing and misleading messages from society like "just be yourself" and "don't worry about fitting in/being 'cool'" and "there's someone for everyone" and "it will happen eventually/when you stop looking/when you least expect it".  Sometimes people can even say these things in a well-meaning way, but they don't realize that these things are out of touch with modern attitudes.

It's frustrating to see people instead just default to kicking the guy when he's down, because they can.

Reply
You're right, Ska.

I actually agree with what you said.

The problem is you are hoping for a post-animalistic non-darwinian society in terms of mating.

Sadly, people are not that far evolved from their animal brethren.
Reply
(05-10-2018, 05:34 AM)bleed_the_freak Wrote: You're right, Ska.

I actually agree with what you said.

The problem is you are hoping for a post-animalistic non-darwinian society in terms of mating.

Sadly, people are not that far evolved from their animal brethren.

Thanks.  But yeah, I'd always hoped that as we got older, social interactions would get less Darwinian.  I felt that knowing that we have other choices besides behaving in a Darwinistic manner, and choosing them, was at least part of what it meant to be civilized. That's one reason I never wanted to be that way, myself - in addition to just not being able to do it, I also felt that behaving that way was primitive, undignified, and I knew better. I wasn't that angry back in school, because I thought this social status stuff would end with it and I just had to wait.  It was very disappointing to find out that even though we have the ability to choose a kinder, gentler world, people still choose the old, brutal, miserable way.

Reply
(05-11-2018, 02:17 PM)TheSkaFish Wrote:
(05-10-2018, 05:34 AM)bleed_the_freak Wrote: You're right, Ska.

I actually agree with what you said.

The problem is you are hoping for a post-animalistic non-darwinian society in terms of mating.

Sadly, people are not that far evolved from their animal brethren.

Thanks.  But yeah, I'd always hoped that as we got older, social interactions would get less Darwinian. 

They do get that way... once people get into middle age that is.
Reply
(05-10-2018, 04:37 AM)TheSkaFish Wrote:
(05-08-2018, 08:51 PM)bleed_the_freak Wrote: Garrett was a tool. He should've known better.
...
What a total dipshit.

I feel like it's worth pointing out that people like Garret probably wouldn't know better because there isn't anyone around him that would know what to tell him.  People don't become like this because they want to - why would anyone want to be what doesn't work and leads to indefinite singledom?  And they don't become like this because they are inherently inferior.  They become like this because they don't know what to do and nobody they do know, knows either.  He's doing what he's been taught, and has had no reason to doubt yet.  You could tell him to be more observant but that probably won't do much good if he doesn't know what to look for or why certain interests, behaviors, and personalities work better than others.  Not only that, but we also get a lot of confusing and misleading messages from society like "just be yourself" and "don't worry about fitting in/being 'cool'" and "there's someone for everyone" and "it will happen eventually/when you stop looking/when you least expect it".  Sometimes people can even say these things in a well-meaning way, but they don't realize that these things are out of touch with modern attitudes.

It's frustrating to see people instead just default to kicking the guy when he's down, because they can.
___________________________________________________________________________________________

I like what you said. I feel like I'm going through that right now. I don't know what to look for. It just feels hopeless. I started losing a lot of weight this year so I'm hoping I can continue to lose weight and get in shape but I don't know how to talk to women, I've always been avoided as a potential dating partner my entire life. I'm 32 and have only had one partner in a 5 year relationship out of highschool. I had a lot of help from mutual friends getting this one girl to date me and I don't have any support like that anymore. I hate when people give stupid advice like "be yourself" or "it will just happen" , it's basically just avoiding the topic because it's convenient. That person knows something is different or off and doesn't want to confront it and makes things worse. I think we need to be told, something is fundamentally different about us, vs normal young people who can just find dates whenever they feel like it. These people aren't movie stars or millionaires they are normal people who are attracted to (and can be attractive to ) other normal people. I'm not saying we're destined to be incels or something like that but I think I needed to hear earlier in my life "Hey you, something is wrong with you, do your best to fix it". To at least acknowledge there is a problem would have helped my teen years(and beyond) I think. 
Reply
Everyone is acting like Garret failed because she rejected him but I kind of think he's setting himself out to be a winner by getting into the habit of going for it at an early age.
Reply
(05-12-2018, 05:03 AM)alphacompton Wrote:
(05-10-2018, 04:37 AM)TheSkaFish Wrote:
(05-08-2018, 08:51 PM)bleed_the_freak Wrote: Garrett was a tool. He should've known better.
...
What a total dipshit.

I feel like it's worth pointing out that people like Garret probably wouldn't know better because there isn't anyone around him that would know what to tell him.  People don't become like this because they want to - why would anyone want to be what doesn't work and leads to indefinite singledom?  And they don't become like this because they are inherently inferior.  They become like this because they don't know what to do and nobody they do know, knows either.  He's doing what he's been taught, and has had no reason to doubt yet.  You could tell him to be more observant but that probably won't do much good if he doesn't know what to look for or why certain interests, behaviors, and personalities work better than others.  Not only that, but we also get a lot of confusing and misleading messages from society like "just be yourself" and "don't worry about fitting in/being 'cool'" and "there's someone for everyone" and "it will happen eventually/when you stop looking/when you least expect it".  Sometimes people can even say these things in a well-meaning way, but they don't realize that these things are out of touch with modern attitudes.

It's frustrating to see people instead just default to kicking the guy when he's down, because they can.
___________________________________________________________________________________________

I like what you said. I feel like I'm going through that right now. I don't know what to look for. It just feels hopeless. I started losing a lot of weight this year so I'm hoping I can continue to lose weight and get in shape but I don't know how to talk to women, I've always been avoided as a potential dating partner my entire life. I'm 32 and have only had one partner in a 5 year relationship out of highschool. I had a lot of help from mutual friends getting this one girl to date me and I don't have any support like that anymore. I hate when people give stupid advice like "be yourself" or "it will just happen" , it's basically just avoiding the topic because it's convenient. That person knows something is different or off and doesn't want to confront it and makes things worse. I think we need to be told, something is fundamentally different about us, vs normal young people who can just find dates whenever they feel like it. These people aren't movie stars or millionaires they are normal people who are attracted to (and can be attractive to ) other normal people. I'm not saying we're destined to be incels or something like that but I think I needed to hear earlier in my life "Hey you, something is wrong with you, do your best to fix it". To at least acknowledge there is a problem would have helped my teen years(and beyond) I think. 
I think that it makes sense to give young people more realistic expectations of the future. It's nice to reach for the stars, and all, but if you can't focus on the little, consistent steps it takes to get there, you will find it a lot harder to achieve what you are capable of and get what you want out of life. I remember the thing that was constantly told me in church when I was growing up was "you'll be married before you know it." Well I am now 31 years old and single, and I certainly know it. I think from things like the adults in my life giving advice, the movies I watched, the books that I read, and the success my peers had with the opposite gender all certainly contributed to me having unrealistic expectations of dating, relationships, and romance. Society  seems to tell women to be entitled to claim it all, when in fact that is not the reality of how life works.  Well, I guess I need to continue working on myself until somebody truly wants me for me *sigh*
(05-12-2018, 09:47 AM)Paraiyar Wrote: Everyone is acting like Garret failed because she rejected him but I kind of think he's setting himself out to be a winner by getting into the habit of going for it at an early age.

I agree, Paraiyar. I think that while he may not have achieved his immediate goal of "getting the girl," he certainly has learned to put himself out there and take social risks in order to achieve something, which is definitely a commendable thing at such an early age and will contribute to things like growing a thicker skin and acquiring more social intelligence. AndI still like the video.
Reply
I would ask that on dating sites just to try to break the ice. You know to try to learn about them and maybe get a conversation started. Well it was more like "Do you have anything nice planned for the weekend."

This was usually after commenting on something about their profile.

No responses.

I hate dating sites.
Reply
^You would need to be more original. Something like that would just fade in the ether. And it's still probably a waste of time: https://www.wired.com/2015/05/tinder-users-not-single/
Reply


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Questions for the Women Naleena 3,342 580,273 07-25-2019, 11:46 AM
Last Post: Bored
  Some Questions for everyone who's used (or is currently using) online dating Services ExtensivexLDL 66 22,374 03-05-2019, 11:48 AM
Last Post: Enpatsu No Shakugan
  Questions for the Rest Meaw 12 4,806 07-13-2017, 04:41 AM
Last Post: Meaw
  Deal breaker questions Ladysphinx 304 72,946 04-07-2016, 12:47 AM
Last Post: handheart
Question Lots of Questions After Seeing Someone Jim103BMS 11 5,825 10-04-2014, 03:05 AM
Last Post: Jim103BMS
  Questions jjessea 13 6,116 07-11-2014, 09:54 AM
Last Post: jjessea
  Questions For The Parents Sterling 17 6,225 05-09-2012, 09:16 AM
Last Post: Sterling
  More questions I can't answer Lynth 3 3,498 03-02-2011, 12:25 PM
Last Post: Lynth
Big Grin Questions.What if... MegaMelt 10 6,013 03-30-2010, 03:25 PM
Last Post: MegaMelt

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 2 Guest(s)