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He is dating other women
#1
I'm 37 and I have been online dating for several months now. I find it to be a long and exhausting process. I've only met 15 guys so far and  have felt chemistry with only one. He has all the qualities I was hoping to find and when he told me he wanted to go out on a second date I was over the moon. I thought that maybe my shitty luck had finally changed. He had to leave for 2 weeks to visit his family and during that time he didn't contact me at all. I found that strange so I texted him to check if we were still on for our date. That's when he told me he had gone out with a woman he met there and now he's confused. As you can imagine I was extremely disappointed. Isn't this just my luck??? Considering how we met I had already assumed he was seeing other women, just like I went out with guys I already had dates lined up with while he was away. The difference is I didn't meet anyone I'd like to see again. I'm not even completely sure if it's true or it's just an excuse he came up with to let me down easy. Anyway I tried to be rational about all this and told him I didn't expect exclusivity at this stage, so I guess I gave him my blessing about dating both of us for a while. The truth is I've never been in this kind of situation and I don't know if I can be as casual about this as I let on. I'm not even sure why I'm here telling you guys this. I guess I just needed to vent and maybe ask for your opinion on this whole mess. I'm feeling so down about everything!
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#2
He's confused = he'll hold onto you, just in case. If that's something you aren't ok with, drop him.
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#3
(02-05-2017, 08:54 AM)AmytheTemperamental Wrote: He's confused = he'll hold onto you, just in case. If that's something you aren't ok with, drop him.

From a rational point of view it makes sense. He doesn't know me or her well, it's too early for him to choose. I guess I'm just so fed up with being so unlucky in love and how it feels i've been jumping through hoops for months just to have a chance at a relationship that is probably not even gonna work anyway. I'm tired and ready to give up on love.
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#4
Amy is absolutely correct with her statement. Maybe I'm a bit of a pessimist, but I've given up on searching for "the one", instead focusing on enjoying and bettering my own life and taking what comes along. If somebody is worth going after along the way, I go that route, but I'm not living my life as though there is somebody missing from it that I have to find.

It's just my opinion, but getting yourself past the belief that you're not okay until you've found somebody, and focusing on other aspects of yourself will lead to a happier you. And, also my opinion, but I believe that a happier you is a more attractive you. Once you let go of the reins and just relax, you take a lot of the pressure off of yourself (and thus your future love interests).

I try to have an almost blase' attitude about it; if I'm interested in you, I try to get you out to do something fun. If it doesn't go well, then that's okay, too.
This above all: to thine ownself be true.
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a person needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. A man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in.





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#5
Internet dating is a waste of time, most of the guys just looking for hook ups, really flaky, many will actually be married. Like others, I have given up, age 35 now, if I ain't met the one by now, its ain't gonna happen. Why put yourself through the hell of it all? But I do understand that the single life is not so great, please don't think I'm criticising you. Good luck.
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#6
Continue to go on dates with other men...don't bother waiting for him. I've had ones where I never heard back from them or I heard back from them after their first choice didn't work out (I lost interest at that point). I hope you find the one where you both click instantly and get yourselves out of the online dating pool. Good luck!
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#7
Thank you for all your replies!
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#8
(06-18-2017, 09:24 PM)hppnssseeker Wrote: Thank you for all your replies!

This reminds me of a scene in "he's just not that into you" where a character is on a date with a guy and he tells her he has to leave for travel and he won't be able to contact her. She calls her BFF to get feed back on it and he goes 

RUN.

She is like but what if he is really traveling?

He is like to where the moon? If he wanted to contact you, he would. 

Run...

That is my advice to you on this one. Basically internet dating is not a good thing.
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#9
Ugh why don't you think you deserve better? I mean honestly, I know you said he was the only one who had "Everything" but he doesn't sound like he's that bothered. Look for someone who'll treat you right from the beginning. When he didn't contact you in those two weeks you should have left it. There's nothing wrong with being picky but you're being picky about the wrong things.
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#10
It can be tough to find someone that quickly, true. The whole "confused" thing is confusing me, however. I'm one of those boring, old-fashioned people that think a relationship is something for two people, without any other flirts etc. Seeing several at the beginning is a "Time to start deciding" while seeing several a lil time after the beginning is "You should have decided a while ago, so now I do it for you. Bye."
Also, the travelling/contacting point by EmilyFoxSeaton is worth thinking about a bit.
And good luck ^_^
Are you sure we're on the right way, Yoda?
Off course, we are.

The snow angel was imperfect but so is everyone. It was there, and that is what matters. Maybe someone would see it, and smile.
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