stratamaster78
Active member
I'll try to make this story as short as possible but the overall theme is that my now ex-gf froze me out/ghosted me out of nowhere and refused to give me any closure.
I met her through mutual friends on Facebook. I live in Alabama and she lives in Brooklyn, NY. (red flag long distance issues I know). But for months we were just 'friends' yet she flirted with me constantly. We transitioned from facebook communication to cell phone texting and also phone calls. Our chemistry was off the charts. We have all the same hobbies and values and sense of humor. Almost mirror personalities to the point that we would sometimes send texts to each other at the exact same time saying the same thing with the same emoji's. It was almost eerie how connected we felt. We could effortlessly talk on the phone for 2-4 hours at a time with NO awkward pauses. She eventually just came out and admitted she 'liked' me as way more than a friend. The texting became more hot and heavy and we decided I should visit her in March of 2016. At this point we had been friends for 6 months and 'more than friends' for an extra 5 months.
So I flew to NYC and spent a week with her there. The whole week was electric. Our feelings were already deep after 11 months of talking every single day, all day long. She told me she Loved me and I said the same. When I got back home from the visit over the next few months she got increasingly intense with me. She started talking about how we were 'Twin Flame' soulmates and that I was her future husband and father of her kids. She talked about working towards us living in the same city as soon as possible.
Then my Mom got very sick during May-July of 2016 and was hospitalized. She came home in August on Hospice and died on August 31st. During that month my then GF sent flowers and offered to come help me take care of her and booked a flight ahead of time to visit me for a week in September here in Alabama. So as it turned out she came here 3 weeks after my Mom passed. But I tried to just enjoy her visit and I felt we had a better week together than even the NYC visit earlier. Things continued to be great after she got back home until around Halloween 2016 a month later. She had an almost nervous breakdown emotionally about how much she missed me and how it hurt to not see me everyday and that she loved me more than anyone ever.
Then literally days later out of nowhere she went from affectionately texting me everyday all day to hardly talking to me at all. I tried talking to her to see if something was wrong and I tried giving her space but nothing made things better. She would just tell me she was working more and didn't have time to talk as much or do anything for that matter. Yet I would see her still constantly chatting with people on Facebook all day and going to Concerts and Clubs and Bars and movies. I tried calling her several times and she just would not answer.
We started having arguments off and on for the 1st time ever about her freezing me out. I finally got so frustrated I told her to just break up with me if she didn't want to be involved with me anymore. But she wouldn't do it. She kept saying she loved me but was busy and I just didn't understand her position. Then on top of all that she was originally supposed to fly back down and spend Christmas with me and/or New Year's 2017. But that changed because she said she was working so much that she couldn't afford to take the time off and come.....But then I find out she's flying to Texas in Late January last month to spend a week with a mutual guy friend we have in Austin TX. This dude is one of my best friends on FB. So of course I'm like WTF is going on?? She tells me the Texas trip was only $90 and she planned it in August whereas flying to Alabama would cost $500. I offered to pay for everything and she wouldn't accept. She wouldn't break up with me still and also claimed to still love me.
I finally had enough a few weeks ago and just blocked her on my phone and facebook after a long texting fight where she belittled and trivialized our whole relationship as only a 'courtship'. This is a women who chased after me.....hard. Brought up marriage talk and kids and soulmates and living together etc. and gets my hopes up for all these great life experiences and just shuns me like a piece of garbage out of nowhere with no explanation. I never could get her to tell me what I did wrong or why she did a complete 180 on me.
She just visited my friend last week in Texas and I have no idea if that was a shady hookup behind my back or if it was innocent and platonic? But I do know she flirts with him now all the time on facebook and has been talking with him constantly on there for months when she 'didn't have time to text me'?
The worst part is for some reason all of our mutual Facebook friends continue to talk to her and be friends with her while they have coincidentally given me the cold shoulder? I did nothing wrong and everyone has seemingly shunned me. Two of them I knew years before even she did. I pm'd them last night just as an innocent 'hello how are you guys doing' and got no response from them even though I can see they read it. But today they had time to talk in length with her??
So what the heck is going on? What the heck happened? We went from being unbelievably close to her just ice'ing me out seemingly from just out of nowhere and for no reason. Yet not only did I lose her but all my other friends too. It's so messed up and I'm completely alone now. My Mom died.....My GF broke my heart into a million pieces......one of my guy friends potentially hooked up with her last week and the rest are on her side or something. I'm devastated and never been this lonely in my whole life ever.
Can any females on here give me some insight? Why would a girl come after me so aggressively, talk to me everyday all day for over a year, invite me to NYC for a week, come see me in Alabama for a week, plan to come back, plan to move here, tell me she Loved me, that I was her soulmate, future husband, and father of children.....and then just bam.....freeze me out and become a completely different person turning everyone against me in the process?? I did nothing wrong honest to god. I'm stunned right now.
Lastly for perspective I'm 38 and she's 36. So it wasn't an age thing. Also the 'intimacy' was dynamite so it wasn't a bedroom problem. So I'm asking for help and advice from anyone? How can I get over this and find closure. It's like a heart breaking mystery I will never solve. I can hardly sleep at night stewing over everything trying to figure it out.
I met her through mutual friends on Facebook. I live in Alabama and she lives in Brooklyn, NY. (red flag long distance issues I know). But for months we were just 'friends' yet she flirted with me constantly. We transitioned from facebook communication to cell phone texting and also phone calls. Our chemistry was off the charts. We have all the same hobbies and values and sense of humor. Almost mirror personalities to the point that we would sometimes send texts to each other at the exact same time saying the same thing with the same emoji's. It was almost eerie how connected we felt. We could effortlessly talk on the phone for 2-4 hours at a time with NO awkward pauses. She eventually just came out and admitted she 'liked' me as way more than a friend. The texting became more hot and heavy and we decided I should visit her in March of 2016. At this point we had been friends for 6 months and 'more than friends' for an extra 5 months.
So I flew to NYC and spent a week with her there. The whole week was electric. Our feelings were already deep after 11 months of talking every single day, all day long. She told me she Loved me and I said the same. When I got back home from the visit over the next few months she got increasingly intense with me. She started talking about how we were 'Twin Flame' soulmates and that I was her future husband and father of her kids. She talked about working towards us living in the same city as soon as possible.
Then my Mom got very sick during May-July of 2016 and was hospitalized. She came home in August on Hospice and died on August 31st. During that month my then GF sent flowers and offered to come help me take care of her and booked a flight ahead of time to visit me for a week in September here in Alabama. So as it turned out she came here 3 weeks after my Mom passed. But I tried to just enjoy her visit and I felt we had a better week together than even the NYC visit earlier. Things continued to be great after she got back home until around Halloween 2016 a month later. She had an almost nervous breakdown emotionally about how much she missed me and how it hurt to not see me everyday and that she loved me more than anyone ever.
Then literally days later out of nowhere she went from affectionately texting me everyday all day to hardly talking to me at all. I tried talking to her to see if something was wrong and I tried giving her space but nothing made things better. She would just tell me she was working more and didn't have time to talk as much or do anything for that matter. Yet I would see her still constantly chatting with people on Facebook all day and going to Concerts and Clubs and Bars and movies. I tried calling her several times and she just would not answer.
We started having arguments off and on for the 1st time ever about her freezing me out. I finally got so frustrated I told her to just break up with me if she didn't want to be involved with me anymore. But she wouldn't do it. She kept saying she loved me but was busy and I just didn't understand her position. Then on top of all that she was originally supposed to fly back down and spend Christmas with me and/or New Year's 2017. But that changed because she said she was working so much that she couldn't afford to take the time off and come.....But then I find out she's flying to Texas in Late January last month to spend a week with a mutual guy friend we have in Austin TX. This dude is one of my best friends on FB. So of course I'm like WTF is going on?? She tells me the Texas trip was only $90 and she planned it in August whereas flying to Alabama would cost $500. I offered to pay for everything and she wouldn't accept. She wouldn't break up with me still and also claimed to still love me.
I finally had enough a few weeks ago and just blocked her on my phone and facebook after a long texting fight where she belittled and trivialized our whole relationship as only a 'courtship'. This is a women who chased after me.....hard. Brought up marriage talk and kids and soulmates and living together etc. and gets my hopes up for all these great life experiences and just shuns me like a piece of garbage out of nowhere with no explanation. I never could get her to tell me what I did wrong or why she did a complete 180 on me.
She just visited my friend last week in Texas and I have no idea if that was a shady hookup behind my back or if it was innocent and platonic? But I do know she flirts with him now all the time on facebook and has been talking with him constantly on there for months when she 'didn't have time to text me'?
The worst part is for some reason all of our mutual Facebook friends continue to talk to her and be friends with her while they have coincidentally given me the cold shoulder? I did nothing wrong and everyone has seemingly shunned me. Two of them I knew years before even she did. I pm'd them last night just as an innocent 'hello how are you guys doing' and got no response from them even though I can see they read it. But today they had time to talk in length with her??
So what the heck is going on? What the heck happened? We went from being unbelievably close to her just ice'ing me out seemingly from just out of nowhere and for no reason. Yet not only did I lose her but all my other friends too. It's so messed up and I'm completely alone now. My Mom died.....My GF broke my heart into a million pieces......one of my guy friends potentially hooked up with her last week and the rest are on her side or something. I'm devastated and never been this lonely in my whole life ever.
Can any females on here give me some insight? Why would a girl come after me so aggressively, talk to me everyday all day for over a year, invite me to NYC for a week, come see me in Alabama for a week, plan to come back, plan to move here, tell me she Loved me, that I was her soulmate, future husband, and father of children.....and then just bam.....freeze me out and become a completely different person turning everyone against me in the process?? I did nothing wrong honest to god. I'm stunned right now.
Lastly for perspective I'm 38 and she's 36. So it wasn't an age thing. Also the 'intimacy' was dynamite so it wasn't a bedroom problem. So I'm asking for help and advice from anyone? How can I get over this and find closure. It's like a heart breaking mystery I will never solve. I can hardly sleep at night stewing over everything trying to figure it out.