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I have no idea what happened?
(02-17-2017, 08:12 PM)bleed_the_freak Wrote:
(02-17-2017, 09:37 AM)BeyondShy Wrote: But bleed_the_freak is 100% right. If she went to Texas for two weeks and stayed with another guy all that time I would not be wondering what happened. Sure, maybe the first night she stayed on the couch. Maybe the second night too. But not after that.

Pretty straight forward. I'm not staying at some chick's house for a couple of weeks unless we are "doing the grown-up" rather frequently. Just being honest. I don't do slumber parties with a chick I'm not banging. Blunt. True.

Hey guys I just wanted to clear up one detail that has been misinterpreted somewhere. She was in Texas for One week not Two weeks. Probably insignificant but I wanted to clear that up. She was supposed to be there 6-7 days traveling across TX to see about 6 different people and saying at each person's place for like 1 night. These were girl friends and guy friends etc. I found out after the trip she stayed the whole 6-7 days with the 1 guy(Our Mutual Friend) and his roommate.

I appreciate all of you guys and gals opinions on this. You are giving me the brutal truth of your best guesses which is what I need to hear. Yes common sense does say that 'something' happened.

I don't even care about her anymore at this point I feel so hurt and betrayed. But I'm trying to give HIM the benefit of the doubt until I get answers. I've been friends with him for 3 years and his background is very similar to mine. He's been heartbroken and dumped more than once, been cheated on, and given up on romance. So it's hard for me to wrap my head around him doing something like that to me when it's been done to him and he knows how shitty that is to do to someone.

Again I know common sense and cynicism says 'oh man he nailed her all week dude' But maybe.....just maybe he isn't a POS. I've got to talk to him on the phone before I just ghost him too and possibly unfairly. He COULD have just offered her a place on the couch out of hospitality because he has always been a nice sensitive guy. But.....he's also been very lonely lately and she could have thrown herself at him. I just want the truth.
(02-18-2017, 12:59 AM)ABrokenMan Wrote: I can relate to stratamaster78's situation.  While some of the events that transpired in my relationship differ from his, the end result was a complete about face and discard - we're the ones who are forced deal with the fallout, despite having done everything we could to make the relationship work. I still deal with the after-effects after all this time has gone by.

Your former (I hope so) GF just might have some sort of undiagnosed personality disorder. Mine does, I didn't understand or know about it until it was too late. The script played out with a disordered partner is that you become the "one", her soulmate.  Many times, it is rather quick, but those who are experienced in using people know how to draw things along slowly until feelings are enmeshed.  Mine said the same things after several months of a friendship that slowly progressed.  This is the way I was taught that true love happens - not instantly. " A friendship that blossoms into something more" is the cliche. I even had a downpayment on an engagement ring. i was going to ask her during our long weekend getaway.  She went on the getaway, but not with me. Lucky for me I was able to cancel the ring and get my money back.  What I lost was far more soul-crushing.

I don't like to label people, but my ex admitted having relations with other guys during our supposed relationship. Call it slut if you want. This after she was exposed and rather than deal with it, and us, she couldn't cope. Just start over again with another male orbiter in her life.  I've had to carefully arrange the pieces of the puzzle, going by actions, not words.  This is what flies in the face of what I was taught.  I'm left wondering if she really ever loved me at all, or was I just a temporary means to be filled, siphoning what she can't ever experience on her own?  It seems that way.  There's a lot more that went on, I kinda look at it like getting shoved by surprise at the top of a snow covered mountain, and I've been rolling downward ever since.

Don;t expect any closure, and if you do get a reply, I can bet that it will be rather cold and condescending.  I got "It Takes Two To Tango". Just cut her out of your life, for good.  Don't fall for any apology. And grow stronger from the situation. I've learned a LOT from mine.

Thanks for the input. Yeah she's definitely my Ex-GF now. Plus I agree that she had some type of personality disorder. There's just no way a 36 year old women could be this flaky and something mental not be going on. To go from being nuclear hot with me for over a year to ice cold like a glacier just doesn't make sense. Add in being so immature to not even talk to me on the phone to work things out too. For the last 3 months she would only have text conversations. She deflected questions and moved the target of the conversation constantly. It was infuriating trying to get straight answers from her.

I expect it's very possible she has cheated on me too even before this trip to Texas. Basically at any time from around Halloween when she went cold to now she could have been sleeping around in New York. I don't know.....I can't imagine someone going so cold like that unless they had something else going on....maybe I'm wrong....right?.....It's all confusing.

I know I won't get ANY closure from her. I tried to work things out with her for 3 months. To figure out why she was acting different, to get her on the phone, to express how much I loved her, how I wanted to fix whatever was wrong, to find out why she was acting so differently. She gave me excuse after excuse that were constantly contradictory to her daily actions. I'm not going to answer anymore of her texts and I don't expect an apology to ever come.

At this point like I say I'm only trying to get closure from my guy friend in Texas. I need to know if I need to cut him out of my life too. He's still acting like my friend on facebook right now but dodging my attempts to call him.

Lastly I'm very very sorry to hear that you went through something similar if not worse really. You had even got a ring.....something I was about to do myself in a few months. I guess we both dodged a bullet though.
If she is borderline, she will make it "your" fault. Be careful.
Let's not try to justify this person's shitty behavior on mental issues. That's just too easy. Could it be that? Sure. Does it matter in this context? No.

Lastly, that dude is being shady as well, I'd drop his ass in a heartbeat.
"Being young and dipped in folly I fell in love with melancholy"
-Edgar A. Poe
(02-18-2017, 05:35 PM)DarkSelene Wrote: Let's not try to justify this person's shitty behavior on mental issues. That's just too easy. Could it be that? Sure. Does it matter in this context? No.

Lastly, that dude is being shady as well, I'd drop his ass in a heartbeat.

Totally agree with Selene here.

Hey stratamaster78, sorry to read about what happened. I hope you can find the strength to move on and put this behind you. Sucks though, I know.
[Image: tumblr_inline_nfkuwbyCHu1qegzff.gif]

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