MissLonely79
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- Feb 7, 2017
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So I have this friend, that I met online. She lives on the opposite side of the country from me. I never met her in person, but we have talked for extremely long period's of times over the phone for almost 2 years now. She was my phone buddy. We know a lot about each other and are pretty close. When she's not crazy (explained below), she is a pretty cool person and a pretty awesome friend.
Problem:
She is very mentally unstable. Just period, end of story. Nothing more and nothing less. She is mentally ill, and quite frankly, she scares me sometimes.
Anyway, we had a few arguments over the time we have known each other, that lasted in a few months of non-communication. She can get pretty nasty and viscous when she gets mad and over the smallest things too. At a certain point in our friendship, I had come to decision that I would never actually fly out to meet her. I will never meet this person in real life. She scares me. The things she has said to me just via the telephone, tells me that I don't want to ever meet her. So I just kept her as a good phone friend and to be honest, I think she was totally fine with that. She loves to blab just as much as me.
We stopped talking 6 months ago due to another argument. She ask for my friendship again a week ago and I let her back in. When you're so lonely, especially with your severe depression, you beg for a distraction. Some company. Someone to talk to. It is desperately needed so you are not constantly alone with your thoughts, your racing thoughts. And when she is not being psycho, she is really cool and super fun to talk to and most of all, a great ear and a great advice giver.
I figured the distance would keep me safe and allow me to have someone to talk to when I needed it but , I'm still scared of this woman. I don't know if I am being too paranoid or what, but I learned to listen to my gut instinct. Normal people don't say the things she says. Anyway, she is starting up that psycho part of her again and it's really bothering me. However, my depression has lessen since I started talking to her and that's really a good thing. My depression will probably never go away or be fully cured, but I do know they can get to a manageable place. There are levels of depression and I like to try to keep them low as possible. But, it's like Im trading depression for paranoia with her and paranoia sucks very badly.
I don't know. Any insight would help, but I do just appreciate being able to vent.
Problem:
She is very mentally unstable. Just period, end of story. Nothing more and nothing less. She is mentally ill, and quite frankly, she scares me sometimes.
Anyway, we had a few arguments over the time we have known each other, that lasted in a few months of non-communication. She can get pretty nasty and viscous when she gets mad and over the smallest things too. At a certain point in our friendship, I had come to decision that I would never actually fly out to meet her. I will never meet this person in real life. She scares me. The things she has said to me just via the telephone, tells me that I don't want to ever meet her. So I just kept her as a good phone friend and to be honest, I think she was totally fine with that. She loves to blab just as much as me.
We stopped talking 6 months ago due to another argument. She ask for my friendship again a week ago and I let her back in. When you're so lonely, especially with your severe depression, you beg for a distraction. Some company. Someone to talk to. It is desperately needed so you are not constantly alone with your thoughts, your racing thoughts. And when she is not being psycho, she is really cool and super fun to talk to and most of all, a great ear and a great advice giver.
I figured the distance would keep me safe and allow me to have someone to talk to when I needed it but , I'm still scared of this woman. I don't know if I am being too paranoid or what, but I learned to listen to my gut instinct. Normal people don't say the things she says. Anyway, she is starting up that psycho part of her again and it's really bothering me. However, my depression has lessen since I started talking to her and that's really a good thing. My depression will probably never go away or be fully cured, but I do know they can get to a manageable place. There are levels of depression and I like to try to keep them low as possible. But, it's like Im trading depression for paranoia with her and paranoia sucks very badly.
I don't know. Any insight would help, but I do just appreciate being able to vent.