Suicide?

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ragnarok123

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Can I tell you my story? All my problems all in this post.  And tell me how messed I am in this world, please someone tell me how it is not.

Had very very few friends in Highschool. Joined the military right after, things didn't go so well but it was a good experience for me over all.  At this point in life I was young very healthy, yeah maybe not soo good in teh social category but I was doing fine, even had 40k saved up at the time.  Decided to go to school and use my GI bill for free schooling. I made some friends and that time but in the end things didn't work out for me, so I stopped hanging out with them.  I got sick  with an auto immune disease adn it screwed me up school wise, had to withdraw and stuff.  I ended up getting treated for it with a pernament solution, destroying/ removing a certain gland from my body.  I then found out shortly that there were ways to potentially live without the treatment, now I am stuck on meds for life.  They didn't give me the medication when they were supposed to, and when they finally realized they were late, they overdosed me.  Giving me anxiety and constant panic attacks for 3 to 4 months straight.  Screwing me over in school again, and honestly panic attacks nad anxiety everyday was the worse thing I have ever experienced in my entire sad life.  I was told to get on meds for it, i tried them but they only made it worse.  Soemhow I made it out with heavy research and dedication. I felt so trapped, it was insane.  While I struggles with this, everyone else my age is graduating college, trade school, having families. . .  . okay wtf this is annoying, I'm typing so fast this site is lagging . . . anyways I never had a girlfriend or any kind of relationship, just strufggling to stay alive.  My family wasn't supportive, they told me to get over it.  I somehow managed to get through that, but the meds that were were to see the whole picture.  But I didn’t want to make this post a book more than it already is.  Sorry.
 
-No friends, nvr had a whole lot, then I did get some, and lost all of them.
-even if I do graduate school soon, I a unlikely to get a job with it, besides its just an associates.
-women are not interested in me, my genes are bad. 
- |I have a big dick|
- Diseases
-eye and gum disease and disfigured face
-family hates me literally.  My birthday was a couple days ago, they didn’t say anything to me, in fact on Christmas day we got into a  fight and despite living in the same house as my dad cuz I’m a  loser, I haven’t talked to him since.
 
 
What is the point in living again? Why, I literally have no meaning in this world.  I wont get a decent job, no family, no friends, bad genes and evolution wants to weed me out.  I used to be a healthy and strong, but now I have nothing to give back to the world.  Someone tell me I am in the right to commit suicide.  I always have thought about it since high school, and I know the more I deny it, the more pain will come to me.  I just cannot muster enough courage to pull the trigger(s).  Despite some of the humor I have put in here, I am serious about this.  Literally no point in being alive.
 
Try and find someone to talk to that seems to get you, it is okay to switch person until you find an okay one. People have no reason to behave like they did, and hospitals seemed to mess a lot of things up when they should have known better. Try to find an interest, or some goal to live for? I know far too well how your situation feels, though with a different background. If you really have decided, I'll tell you this: If a world treats an individual so bad that it does not want to stay around, they have no right to torture it further by forcing it to stay. I however hope that you will stay around, and that things will get better. Have an internet hug ^_^
 
I've had some health problems recently too. I think many autoimmune conditions are linked to digestive health... I'm getting lots of tests done to try to work out what is going on (through private and public healthcare).

As for studying... there are lots of skills that you can train in that are in demand and you can make good money with. Anything IT related, for example. Even plumbing is in demand I think. Lots of things are :)

I wouldn't worry about living with your dad... as long as you're somewhere reasonable and stable then that's usually OK in my experience. Unless you really can't stand being there then you can always try to move.

www.meetme.com is a nice way to meet people nearby, I find!

And if you have a big dick then evolution can't totally hate you! lol :)
 
I dont have a big dick, i have a small dick :( lol

I decided to give myself a chance, but I admit that I will be alone for the remainder of my honeysuckle life. Thanks for your input guys.
 
Go for it! :)
(Also, the size of ones reproductive organs seems a bit irrelevant to me in this discussion.)
 
I read your story and I agree that it's terrible what happened to you. But I think you should give yourself a chance. Things might seem down now, but they might pick up again later. You might as well wait and see if answers for your life won't come to you in the meantime.
 
Your life actually doesn't seem all that bad except for some unfortunate health issues. They say we're never given anything we can't handle, even when life seems to slap you in the back of the head, repeatedly. Maybe you should seek out help in your area, find someone to talk to. Sounds like you could really benefit from it to help get you back on track. No matter how hard things get life is always worth living, you just have to find a way to get yourself back on the right track.
 
Please don't call yourself a loser, you are most definitely not! it's ok to be frustrated about misfortune but don't ever blame yourself for it.
 

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