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Does anyone else think your loneliness wastes and/or has wasted your life?
#1
Just a heads up, the manner in which I wondered this question, might be a bit awkward for some of you.
 
A couple of days ago, I was browsing some porn, didn’t see anything that caught my attention, until I found an amateur couple (I won’t mention who they are).  Like I always do when I find a curious pair, I check out their profile, it mostly mentioned personal details about the woman, what interested me the most though a particular description of her.  She states that she loves to travel and has been to many different places in the world, tries to experiences as much as she can and face all her fears, for life is too short.  Well, good for her, at least she has the confidence that many of us lack, but I think she mainly meant her comment in a sexual manner; most of her videos were public sex.  =/  I won’t get into details, but she was very kinky to say the least; her boyfriend’s a lucky man.  -_-  I then reflected about my life, I couldn’t help but wonder how many things could have been if I hadn’t grown up with my renal insufficiency problems, which probably made a permanent impact on how I view myself.
 
During my 10s, often times, I had to stay inside my house, in case something bad happened to me due to my delicate condition at the time, I had my video games, which have been part of my life since I was child, but I also had friends, both in school and around where I lived (except from when I was 15 and onwards), I definitely was a livelier person back then, my sickness wasn’t as severe and was still childish in some way (my mom said that I matured slower than average).  I was courageous too, although I wish I hadn’t been, there are many things I made that make wish I could just erase them from my brain; they’re very mortifying and alleviate myself by saying that I’m the only one who remembers that.  Nevertheless, despite the ups and downs, I treasure many memories, especially junior high school ones, where I felt in love for the first time, even though I didn’t made any moves on her, maybe my subconsciousness knew she didn’t like me as a boyfriend.  Here’s a photo of her on our graduation day, she’s the one of the far left:
 
http://www.mediafire.com/view/88atbln2ja...an002.png#
 
The best way I can describe my 20s, especially after going through my below average 10s, could be: lifeless, completely devoid of joy.  Couldn’t make any friendships, I failed more than succeeding; everything went downhill for me, even though I was cured from my renal insufficiency and finally being physically healthy, I somehow got worse emotionally and socially.  2017 is going to mark the 4th or 5th year in which I’ve done nothing but stay in my room and imagining myself in far better situations; I could have met people, gone to new places, feel new experiences, try new activities, etc.  Now, some of you might say that it’s still not too late for that, that I’m still young (I’ll be 27 on May, for those who are curious) and still have time to accomplish things, but that’s now what I’m talking about here, I wanted to do those things in my 20s, it just seems like the appropriate time to have fun, people in their 30s have usually settled down and go through a different phase of life.  It makes me angry when I see people 2 or 5 years younger than me traveling the world and having threesomes, while I’m aimless in life, writing on alonelylife.com in my dimly lit, moist bedroom.  O how my 20s have been a waste, years I’ll never have again in my one, short life.
 
I know I won’t get far in life, but I am somewhat still trying to better myself, for instance: I’ll start going to the gym soon and I’ll buy a Smart car sometime in the following months, I still don’t think these things will make a big difference, but at least everyone around me will see me a bit more positively.
 
Enough of me though, who else feels like this?  Or is it just me?

BTW, what's the masturbation thread about?  =|
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#2
You're still in your 20's, though, so that gives you 3 years to get what you want. It is entirely possible....if you get busy. Stop making excuses and get out there. Don't let your 20's be a waste, turn them around now. Go out and get what you want, travel, meet new people, make new friends, do what you want.

Most people would probably consider my 20's wasted. I don't. Not because I feel I accomplished a lot, because I didn't. Rather because I learned from it. I had to basically start over in my late 20's, but I did it. Wasn't easy, but I did it anyway. I can't change the past, so I refuse to dwell on it and I wouldn't change it because I wouldn't be who I am now. So, it just is what it is, it's part of my past.


Fap, no fap reddit....arguing...off topic nonsense. The usual.
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#3
You will never be as young as you are now and if you regret wasting your 20's years think about how you'll feel looking back at wasted 30's, 40's and 50's.  GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM AND LIVE A LIFE!

I wish I was still as young as you are.
Nothing exists entirely alone.  Everything is always in relation to everything else.

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#4
I wonder about it too. I didn't have a health difficulty but I wondered how different my life would have turned out if I hadn't been bullied or ostracized, or if I'd been more confident and socially "with it" growing up. It also made an impact on how I saw myself.

I don't know if I'd really consider it to have wasted my life though. Sometimes when I catch myself wondering about how things might have gone differently under different circumstances, I remember that I just didn't know any better at the time. I didn't know what my options were, or how to handle various things, because I just wasn't experienced enough to know. With most of the people I grew up with, I really didn't have that many options for friendly socialization. Also, it wasn't unhappy all the time. Most of my childhood was pretty good, there are only a few things that I feel like I should have done differently.

Now that we do know better though, we can do things like we wish we had the first time though. I hear you about the feeling of aimlessness too and I think that's the big part of the problem. I too have been aimless for a while and i think this is the problem, you want to do something but you don't know exactly what or where to start. You know, I know that we want to do SOMETHING but we're not sure what that something is. Maybe take the time to make a list of all the things you want to do, places you want to go, stuff you want to learn more about. I think it's a matter of just taking the time to sit down with yourself and try to answer some of these questions.
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#5
(02-27-2017, 12:09 AM)constant stranger Wrote: You will never be as young as you are now and if you regret wasting your 20's years think about how you'll feel looking back at wasted 30's, 40's and 50's.  GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM AND LIVE A LIFE!

I wish I was still as young as you are.

I am. I am at starbucks.

A little better..not by much
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#6
(02-27-2017, 10:40 AM)Restless soul Wrote:
(02-27-2017, 12:09 AM)constant stranger Wrote: You will never be as young as you are now and if you regret wasting your 20's years think about how you'll feel looking back at wasted 30's, 40's and 50's.  GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM AND LIVE A LIFE!

I wish I was still as young as you are.

I am. I am at starbucks.

A little better..not by much

Um, this thread isn't yours....
Want to talk?  Check out the CHAT ROOM 

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#7
(02-27-2017, 10:41 AM)TheRealCallie Wrote:
(02-27-2017, 10:40 AM)Restless soul Wrote:
(02-27-2017, 12:09 AM)constant stranger Wrote: You will never be as young as you are now and if you regret wasting your 20's years think about how you'll feel looking back at wasted 30's, 40's and 50's.  GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM AND LIVE A LIFE!

I wish I was still as young as you are.

I am. I am at starbucks.

A little better..not by much

Um, this thread isn't yours....

Oh come now. Just be glad i am here and not banned
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#8
To be fair, he was summoned.
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#9
Whaaat? Lol
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#10
Oh, you didn't actually read the original post? I'm not shocked.
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