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Does anyone else think your loneliness wastes and/or has wasted your life?
#31
(04-15-2017, 12:29 PM)AnonymousMe Wrote:
(04-13-2017, 10:03 PM)ColdLight Wrote: Yeah pretty much. I look back at my early 20's now I can't really say that I accomplished much of anything. Just years and years of secluding myself away in my room, playing video games and watching anime and shit. I can only consul myself now by saying that I can't go back in time and change all of that, I can only look foward and try to make my life better in the future.

I wish I could give you a hug.

Aw thanks man, I wish you the best too.
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#32
Yes.
I blame my weight partially on that. It's much easier to fix half a meal, not even speaking of the meaninglessness and the reminding of how alone one is. I have always been better at eating in the company of someone.
There are many activities that are much more difficult to do without a group, e.g. go to a swimming house for fun instead of workout, go to "Boda Borg" there are rooms one shall try to solve tasks in, and it requires 3-4 people to complete them), pnp rp games, larps...
I don't have anyone to protect and spoil, anyones to joke with, laugh with, be active and live life with.
Life as of now seems paused, it is something I just wait through.
Still, I try to do what I like on my own and I try to be happy and spread happiness. There's no happiness without sadness, and maybe this all will spit me out stronger on the other side Toungue
Are you sure we're on the right way, Yoda?
Off course, we are.

The snow angel was imperfect but so is everyone. It was there, and that is what matters. Maybe someone would see it, and smile.
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#33
That'd be a hard "yes" for me. It's probably the biggest thing I'm grappling with right now. I feel like my life has been an utter, miserable waste. All of the opportunities, relationships, and potential I had were destroyed by depression, anxiety, and addiction. I luckily got that last one under control, but after all these years, nothing I ever do seems to cage the other two. (In fact, the addiction was a direct result of the anxiety/depression.) It really is becoming difficult to care about any sort of future or to find reasons to keep going.
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#34
Yes totally. I'm wasting now in my twenties and I'm not doing anything about it.
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#35
I'm nostalgic person. I cling on memories. The now isn't exciting. And sometimes I'm not really living in the now. My relationships are rather short term contacts. When these people reach out to me I seem to have moved past them and backwards. I guess I'm looking for somebody who doesn't exist or isn't looking for me.
And yes I regret being like this for years. All the opportunities of happiness have passed me by. I know I sound old but I'm not.
I feel like a kid who has paddled on the raft too far off coast onto the current with no idea how to get back. I don't know how to get interested in people and get them interested in me?
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#36
(04-19-2017, 05:12 PM)Meaw Wrote: I blame my weight partially on that.
There are many activities that are much more difficult to do without a group,
I don't have anyone to protect and spoil, anyones to joke with, laugh with, be active and live life with.
Life as of now seems paused, it is something I just wait through.

Yeah, I know how you feel, it's the same with me sometimes, but I think I'm worse off than you.  I can't do things alone because it makes me feel incompetent in front of strangers, due to me unavoidably comparing myself to everyone and I can't do things with friends/acquaintances because it makes me feel embarrassed; I'm always trying to leave no bad impressions.  I do wish I had a special friend or someone by my side though, it would makes my life easier and worth it, but everyone's got their own problems already.

(04-21-2017, 06:58 PM)dirta Wrote: I'm nostalgic person. I cling on memories. The now isn't exciting. And sometimes I'm not really living in the now. My relationships are rather short term contacts. When these people reach out to me I seem to have moved past them and backwards. I guess I'm looking for somebody who doesn't exist or isn't looking for me.

Hmm, I get, you, I'm not a nostalgic person, in fact, I'm very glad the past is just the past now, but every once in a while, I do miss times when I was more social with my family and in school.  Everyone would play (video) games, go to places, enjoy reunions, etc., now everyone has jobs, are married and are busy... I just find it very unfair that everyone I've met is enjoying life, doing things they've dreamed of doing with someone on their sides, except me.  I am hopeful I meet someone though, even if it's a bad relationship, I still think it's better than being single.
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#37
YES!!!  I've tried to make my peace with being alone, but it sucks.  Especially now that I'm in my fifties and my health is starting to fail.  I've heard, and read, again and again that loneliness is bad for our health, and I believe that is true.

When things are going well, I don't mind the solitude too much.  But when things are bad – when I'm sick, or having a really bad day, or like now when I'm dealing with a very painful rejection – the pain of not being able to talk to anybody is suffocating.  Nobody has my back.  Nobody is interested in me, nobody is interested in anything I think or feel or say.  If I'm in trouble, there's nobody to help me unless I pay them.  And I can't afford to pay people to help me unless it's absolutely critical.  I feel like a leper.  I feel like a freak.  And I can't understand what I did wrong to make everybody not like me.  Have I just been so unbelievably unlucky in meeting the wrong people, again and again?  I try so hard to be a good friend, to be considerate and emphatic and think about how the other person is feeling.  Nobody ever wants to do that for me.

I hate this.  I hate this so much.  I only have so many good years left, and I'm completely wasting them, sitting in my crummy house by myself, dreaming that maybe things will be matter in a year or two or three, or dreaming of the past when I still had at least a few people who cared about me.
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#38
I think that you still have a bright future ahead of you if you are willing to do what it takes to live life to the fullest. I have had health problems which caused subsequent medical debt that has kept me from being able to travel, so I missed out on that, although I am currently working that down so that I can have the opportunity to travel abroad. I think taking the opportunity to live life to the fullest is a good idea, which is why I try not to turn down opportunities to go out and do things when people let me know about them, and try to meet new people when I go to social functions. I sometimes wish I had/would do more, but living in the past is the opposite of living life to the fullest. I wouldn't say that having a threesome is necessarily the best way to live life to the fullest, as I had one and while it was fun at the time, I eventually spent years later regretting my past reckless sexual encounters and that incident especially. Even if you are going out and doing crazy things in your twenties, you might still end up regretting them later for other reasons, especially if you are insecure or think skinned. While your thirties tend to be a different stage of your life, that's because you're at a different place in your career and may be settling down to get married. If those things aren't true for you, then as long as you are still taking care of your appearance and staying in shape, I think you still can do some of the same things. But living life to the fullest has different meanings to different people, and I can say that it has definitely changed since I was in my early twenties.
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#39
(04-28-2017, 08:44 AM)wallflower79 Wrote: I wouldn't say that having a threesome is necessarily the best way to live life to the fullest, as I had one and while it was fun at the time, I eventually spent years later regretting my past reckless sexual encounters and that incident especially. Even if you are going out and doing crazy things in your twenties, you might still end up regretting them later for other reasons, especially if you are insecure or think skinned.

This isn't about if I'll end up regretting experiences or not, it's just about experiencing them, even if they end up among the worst ones I've ever had, I, nevertheless, would have experienced them and I wouldn't stay wondering how it feels to be part of such activities.  Not to mention, we're all different, so what doesn't work for someone might work for me and vice versa.  For example, I went to a Megadeth concert last year and while it was awesome, I didn't enjoy it at all, I felt out of place among the crowd and I wasn't even a fan of the band, I just stood there, watching everyone have fun around me, but I still went and it was phenomenal.  At least I'm keeping my expectations extremely low, it's kind of sad that the most common life experiences have become milestones to me, but if I get to feel a few of them just once, I'll be satisfied, especially if it's one of those that I think I'll never get to feel (the threesome is one of them =P)
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#40
I thought I have but honestly I don't think I have. I've learnt a lot and experienced more than most of my family members.
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