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Does anyone else think your loneliness wastes and/or has wasted your life?
#41
(04-21-2017, 06:58 PM)dirta Wrote: I'm nostalgic person. I cling on memories. The now isn't exciting. And sometimes I'm not really living in the now. My relationships are rather short term contacts. When these people reach out to me I seem to have moved past them and backwards. I guess I'm looking for somebody who doesn't exist or isn't looking for me.
And yes I regret being like this for years. All the opportunities of happiness have passed me by. I know I sound old but I'm not.
I feel like a kid who has paddled on the raft too far off coast onto the current with no idea how to get back. I don't know how to get interested in people and get them interested in me?

Look up "avoidant personality" and its subtypes.
If you are not "old", whatever that means to you, there is still time for you to prevent your whole life going to waste. But you have to act NOW.
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#42
(05-06-2017, 11:52 PM)Noctilucent Wrote:
(04-21-2017, 06:58 PM)dirta Wrote: I'm nostalgic person. I cling on memories. The now isn't exciting. And sometimes I'm not really living in the now. My relationships are rather short term contacts. When these people reach out to me I seem to have moved past them and backwards. I guess I'm looking for somebody who doesn't exist or isn't looking for me.
And yes I regret being like this for years. All the opportunities of happiness have passed me by. I know I sound old but I'm not.
I feel like a kid who has paddled on the raft too far off coast onto the current with no idea how to get back. I don't know how to get interested in people and get them interested in me?

Look up "avoidant personality" and its subtypes.
If you are not "old", whatever that means to you, there is still time for you to prevent your whole life going to waste. But you have to act NOW.

Yes that's me. I avoid it all.
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#43
I've been thinking about this, and I feel like it might be a multi-faceted problem for some. I did spend a portion of my life either medicated and zombified, too tired to do much, or too anxious to do much. But I also realize that there's a constant nagging pressure now to "catch up", in a way.

A Saturday can never just be a Saturday with a little cleaning, some sunshine, and reading, it has to be a big goal day. It's hard to enjoy simple things like conversations at work sometimes because they don't seem like "enough".

It's easy to become over-busy, especially when you're already high-strung, but I'm trying to relax more.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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#44
(05-07-2017, 06:48 AM)Tealeaf Wrote: I've been thinking about this, and I feel like it might be a multi-faceted problem for some. I did spend a portion of my life either medicated and zombified, too tired to do much, or too anxious to do much. But I also realize that there's a constant nagging pressure now to "catch up", in a way.

I feel my entire 20s were just a complete waste of time. And where I'm at now, I constantly feel "I should've been doing this 10 years ago", and even my boss (who I detest) was keen enough to pick out the same thing himself randomly one day. "I think you're probably like 10 years behind"

So.... it must be obvious, I guess. Shy
[Image: giphy.gif]
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#45
Between 18 to around 26 (I just turned 28 in February) at least I feel this way to quite a degree although I did sorta set some good things in motion but mostly that part of my life was a self destructive, stagnant period that still haunts me a little bit even though things really seem to be progressing in an exciting direction, I just hope I can do enough with the time I have left to look back on my 20s somewhat fondly despite how bad the majority of the time actually was.

Picking up the Didgeridoo about 5 months ago to augment my guitar playing and computer music composition and taking up Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and Yoga at the start of this year both seem to have been firm steps in the right direction, as was finally being able to get a band together a year ago. I'm really excited about this band, I think we have something quite special.

I have quite a bit of hope that my 30s will be awesome, this is of course assuming that the world doesn't go crazy before I get there.
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#46
I'll be fifty-nine this year and depending on how I look back my life is either a waste, or even a little worse with having caused some harm, or actually pretty good especially with many occasional moments where something good happened that I was a part of creating.

If I look back and say, "What did I get out of it?", I'm going to be disappointed.

If I look back and say, "What good was I?", Other than some big mistakes...I was actually pretty good!"

But here's the deal.  The last two years have been the best years of my life...and I don't care how old one gets you don't get to go back one second, not one, day...to change anything.  You've got this moment and whatever else you get after that.

Might as well enjoy it.
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#47
Not nearly as much as my trust being broken in people has. That's why I stay so busy all the time. I know how to be successfully self sufficient it just requires a metric shitload of my energy as an introvert. I'd rather be in no company, than only bad company.
"Of Fire in Nature, Love in Spirit unkenned,
Life, hath no axle, no spring, and no End"
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#48
(05-06-2017, 11:52 PM)Noctilucent Wrote:
(04-21-2017, 06:58 PM)dirta Wrote: I'm nostalgic person. I cling on memories. The now isn't exciting. And sometimes I'm not really living in the now. My relationships are rather short term contacts. When these people reach out to me I seem to have moved past them and backwards. I guess I'm looking for somebody who doesn't exist or isn't looking for me.
And yes I regret being like this for years. All the opportunities of happiness have passed me by. I know I sound old but I'm not.
I feel like a kid who has paddled on the raft too far off coast onto the current with no idea how to get back. I don't know how to get interested in people and get them interested in me?

Look up "avoidant personality" and its subtypes.
If you are not "old", whatever that means to you, there is still time for you to prevent your whole life going to waste. But you have to act NOW.

I looked it up and at first I thought I have it, even did the test couple of times. But then I looked up some youtube videos of people who have it and how they describe it. They avoid because they find themselves not worthy and they are self loathing, and that's not me. Or maybe there is a spectrum. 
Anyway, my biggest regret is not recognising my problem when I was younger, cutting myself more and more slack and drifting away from normal behavior and normal life connections.
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#49
I suppose so, but then it seems to me that loneliness is just one of many ways for someone to waste their life.
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