How important is sex in a relationship?

bleed_the_freak said:

Give it a try and report back.

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Please refer to my original reply.

Red_Wedding_Casualty said:

Yeh nah M8.......

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Red_Wedding_Casualty said:

bleed_the_freak said:

Give it a try and report back.

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Please refer to my original reply.

Red_Wedding_Casualty said:

Yeh nah M8.......

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No worries. There are enough of us who like vagina to make sure the ladies aren't neglected.

I have a facebook friend (male) who's asexual. What he sometimes says seems similar to some of the things you said. (Have only read first post, sorry :S ) It is very possible that you are asexual, and that's completely fine. It's true that you "just have to find the right one" - but in the meaning that the right one will be happy with you the way you are, and stuff will be good as is. Good luck! ^_^

EDIT: I forgot to answer, heh: Eventhough I until the age of around 17-18 was completely uninterested in physical activity like that of most kinds, I now find it something very nice, but if I'd find a partner I liked who liked me, and who happened to be asexual, I'd do my best to make it work anyway. TLDR; not a dealbreaker, but a good bonus in my nowaday opinion.

I've had one "serious" relationship so far and ironically it ended up being a relationship in which I could never be sexually intimate with my partner.

Not distance related or anything, just we medically couldn't unfortunately.

The problem raised it's head about 2 months into our relationship. At that point we hadn't been intimate (though obviously we'd kissed and held hands) and although it was initially upsetting I felt at that point and even before it that I had a special connection with her and sex wasn't that important to me. So we kept going out for another 5 months.

In a way I think that's a true romantic connection. When you know you're just happy being together and don't need sex to be happy. We went on some rubbish date events (cancelled gigs, bad weather) and still had a great time because we liked each other so much.

Unfortunately over time, it became a problem because it's really really difficult when your partner wants to be intimate but you can't. And when sex goes from something you're excited about to something that isn't possible it's kind of delayed-effect upsetting.

Eventually I wanted nothing more than to sleep with her but I ended it instead, for the good of both of us.

So my answer is: sex itself is not terribly important if you really care about someone. But on the other hand, absolutely zero sex in a relationship basically turns it into a strong friendship, and can actually be quite profoundly upsetting over time.

Maggie- said:

I have never actually been in any relationship, neither have I felt any kind of sexual attraction. Well, I have felt some, but I just don’t want to have sex. People I talk to about this thinks it’s strange, and say that I haven’t met the right person yet. I don’t know if this will change, maybe I’m asexual? I do however want some kind of romantic relationship, but would it work without sex? I’m not really in a hurry to be with anyone yet, but I do feel empty sometimes, like something or someone is missing in my life. What do you guys think, is sex a deal breaker?
 

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For me, it's a dealbreaker.  There is an emotional bonding that happens during sex, and while it's possible to be intimate without being that kind of intimate, there is going to be something missing.  By all means though, if you have zero sexual desire, and you find someone else with zero sexual desire, and the two of you decide to have a relationship, there is no reason that it couldn't succeed. I wish you luck however, finding that person.  You could always try using an online dating profile, and making sure you write about that important part in your essay about yourself.  I'd be curious as to how many others are out there with the same issue about not wanting sex, yet wanting that kind of relationship.

IMO, I believe sex is very important.. it brings you closer, and can relieve a lot of tension if there is any.. it seriously is a cure all... if you have a headache, have sex.. if you're feeling depressed and have anxiety, have sex.. sex releases endorphins-- which are our body's natural pain killers.... 

kamya said:

Sun35 said:

Maggie- said:

I have never actually been in any relationship, neither have I felt any kind of sexual attraction. Well, I have felt some, but I just don’t want to have sex. People I talk to about this thinks it’s strange, and say that I haven’t met the right person yet. I don’t know if this will change, maybe I’m asexual? I do however want some kind of romantic relationship, but would it work without sex? I’m not really in a hurry to be with anyone yet, but I do feel empty sometimes, like something or someone is missing in my life. What do you guys think, is sex a deal breaker?
 

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Sex? No, that is not important at all. Sex is just something that is totally overrated, way too much importance is given to that. A relationship can survive even if sex is totally absent in it. I am sure about that.

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 It can survive but only with the right person. And its gonna be hard as fresia to find that right person. I know any relationship of mine wouldnt survive that. Most other people I imagine feel pretty similar to me on this. Good luck OP.

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Yes, you have a good point there.

What is sex?
What is relationship?

It's honestly not important to me or not a deal breaker. I always respect the man I'm dating. However if he orders me to give him sex, I'm walking out the door because sex should be a mutual thing that two people enjoy with each other. Sex is a beautiful thing to me and anytime I do have sex it's with someone I'm in a relationship with. The thing that is important to me is their mental and emotional well being. If their not feeling up to it, I usually give them a big hug and massage their back. =)

I always tend to spoil the men I'm with. =D

WallflowerGirl83 said:

It's honestly not important to me or not a deal breaker. I always respect the man I'm dating. However if he orders me to give him sex, I'm walking out the door because sex should be a mutual thing that two people enjoy with each other. Sex is a beautiful thing to me and anytime I do have sex it's with someone I'm in a relationship with. The thing that is important to me is their mental and emotional well being. If their not feeling up to it, I usually give them a big hug and massage their back. =)

I always tend to spoil the men I'm with. =D

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Good thinking young lady!

It is not "strange", but sex is pretty important in any relationship, except bot think it is not important, but in case that one thinks that sex is important and another is like you that may be a problem for relationship.